Follow
Share

I am taking care of my mother with dementia and I have DPOA but not yet guardianship. I'm reading I can't gift myself money, but able to gift my sister, who doesn't even help me out? My mother has always given each of us cash for Christmas so we can buy gifts for the grandchildren. Please don't tell me to ask an attorney, I can't afford him. Thank you for any suggestions.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I always include a specific section on gifting in the DPOA's (Durable Powers of Attorney) I drafted for clients. I believe most attorney-prepared powers of attorney would, also. Perhaps more importantly is the inclusion of the ability to make gifts for the purposes of Medicaid planning. Without specific language in the DPOA such large transfers would not be legally permitted, possibly costing the family thousands of dollars because of the lost ability to do proper planning.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If it's a question of buying presents on your mother's behalf for your children, can you not gift the cash (notionally) to them?

Don't be tempted not to continue your mother's practice of giving your sister money. Although you have my full permission to think "rhubarb rhubarb mutter grumble humph" about it.

When you send her the money, you could - depends on how things are between you - send her your own routine allowance and tell her what to get you?!

Goodness life does get complicated, and especially for people who really are trying to keep to the rules! Sigh...
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

The attitude "Don't tell me to go to an attorney because I can't afford him" isn't helping you. For example, if $300 on an attorney corrects something missing in the documents you have and enables you to receive monetary gifts every year going forward.... yes you can afford it and it's worth it.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Give the money directly to the grandchildren....... When my children were just learning to write (MANY years ago) they thought "endorsing" their grandpas Christmas checks was oh so cool....even when they printed their first name only.... at the bank.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

graciesgirl: I am in the same exact spot as you are. I use to purchase gifts for my mother to give as she would not leave the house. After not being reimbursed and being owed in excess of $2,000 I stopped. Last year and this year I had her make out cards and I got cash from the bank and put it in each persons card, including myself. The amount of money is small but it makes Mom feel better, knowing she has given a gift to everyone.

I drove myself crazy with this question for about a year and I am still not comfortable with it but I am hoping my mother never needs Medicaid so I have nothing to be penalized on. I make sure everything is transparent so no sibling has a question as to where money is going and have actually had them sign on to the accounts as well.

As DPOA it is maddening to know that you handle basically everything (I am 24/7 caregiver as well) and yet you are left out in the cold monetarily. I did not begin this for money, but not that I do not receive child support to take care of us, I could really use a bit of income to help myself and my daughter, disability is so low that I could qualify for welfare!!!!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Sorry but as the POA you can gift to everyone except yourself. Now, this is the right thing to do BUT technically you can take the risk of gifting yourself. In the event of an audit you could be held accountable and have to pay it back.

Our family discussed this issue last Christmas and I had them put in writing (&sign) that we all agreed my mother in law would spend the same amount she did last year on everyone.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Then make the "gift" to your sister twice as much with the understanding you get your half.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Mr. Heiser has the best answer! Include wording for who gets gifts in the DPOA, then there is no question.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

It would be nice and appropriate if your family members showed generosity to you or all you do for mom. A nominal gift from mom's assets should not be a problem. Medicare wont hunt down $20 or $40. And whose to say if that $30 blouse from Macy's is for you or mom.

If you are talking about something other than a nominal gift, sorry, although you MORE than deserve it, as the steward of the funds it would be inappropriate.

AGAIN.....I do hope the family recognizes you as generously as they can.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

send a big check to me. ill get us both the new mig welders weve been wanting.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.