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My mother has been hospitalized with failure to thrive and extreme depression. She will be moving to a long term care facility as she needs 24 hour care. We are having trouble getting her to sign any documents or take care of any financial matters because it causes panic attacks. However, she has passed a basic mental competency test. The doctors even recognized that the competency test wouldn't take into account her extreme paranoia or depression which is causing her to have the inability to take care of herself. My question is, I have durable power of attorney, but it states in the document that it becomes effective upon the Principal's incapacity which is defined and documented according to my state's laws. (Iowa) Anyone know how I can get this to be active so I can take care of some of these financial situations with her moving into a care facility? At this point, she only has enough money in her account to pay for a month of care so I desperately need to be able to move some other things around.

Is she currently being treated for the panic attacks? Are the physicians working on medications that will decrease the intensity or occurance of panic attacks?

Can you clarify if any forms or signatures initiate a full blown medical diagnosed panic attack or just emotions that she exagerates into or as a panic attack?

I feel that you need to be matter of fact with your mother. Tell her that in order for her assets and herself to be protectect you need her to sign documents that would enable you to act in her best interests. Otherwise, she will have a court appointed guardian or the nursing home acting as her representative. A panic attack may occur but what is the alternative? A non family member overseeing her wellbeing which is going to happen. Hopefully she will choose to designate her representiative rather than the alternative.

Good luck, it isn't an easy chore as POA so please be 100% sure your really want this responsibility.
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Reply to AMZebbC
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I would ask an elder law attorney active currently in your state to get this implemented. If she is so distraught that she cannot make best decisions on her own now this needs to be addressed with the doctors. Best would be her signing on to this; if she will no you may need to tell her that you are certain she cannot now care for herself, and you should be acting for her; if that isn't what she wants you will resign and will henceforth DO ZERO CARE in her behalf; she will be alone to handle everything as she claims she is able to. And I would do just that.

It is impossible to act in behalf of someone uncooperative. You simply cannot do it. You may want to ask APS their opinion of what should be done in this case as well; they may have social worker intervene with you, your Mom and her doctor to get these things handled; if not, let them know you won't be responsible anymore or involved.

Again, this cannot be both ways. It needs to be either/or. And you know already what is in her best interest at this time. If she is unaccepting of that, then she should function in her own behalf. Let HER know this. Let her MD know this. Let APS know this. And let the ATTORNEY know this. Then it is out of your hands and their decision going forth.

I was POA and Trustee for my brother and it is an onerous job for ANYONE. He was cooperative and organized. It would not have been doable otherwise.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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If it is written into the document then you need to "somehow" get a diagnosis. So is she agreeing to go to the LTC facility voluntarily? I don't think the diagnosis of incapacity has to mean cognitive incapacity unless it is written like that. Also, why wouldn't "extreme depression" count as cognitive incapacity? Has she ever been suicidal? I would ask the doctor to write a diagnosis that says she has "incapacity suffient to require the activation of her DPoA". It would need to be signed by her doctor and on the clinic letterhead. This is what I had to do when I was trying to manage my Mom's annuity and they asked for an actual letter. Her doctor was happy to provide it.
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Reply to Geaton777
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ecse129 Dec 15, 2025
Thank you for your help! She has been in the hospital and the hospitalist has been little to no help. The nurses have been wonderful, but of course they can't provide the documentation.
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