Follow
Share

She's already had one accident (first time driving again). I have been actively trying to stop Mom from driving. Her doctor keeps telling me that there is nothing that can be done because of her mental status and has written a note in her chart that she is ok to drive. I just saw a post out here about Confabrication. Mom exhibits this to a T. The first time driving she backed into her friend's car and drove off. No clue what she did. They filed a police report. Last night my husband discovered a new red line of damage on her van. When asked, she denied knowing how it came to be there. I would love to hear what others have done in similar circumstances and any support you have found! I've had to stop talking to Mom about things other than trivial due to the stress it causes me. I want her to be safe, but that seems to fall on deaf ears.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Thank you all for your responses and help. This forum is exactly what I've been looking for to get support and help! I hadn't thought about sending pictures to DMV. There was an incident in our yard where Mom backed into my husband's construction sized loader. She hit it hard and really damaged her vehicle. I will include the picture of that also. The loader is parked most of the year at the corner of our house. It has saved our house more than once over the years.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Can you disable the car, or would she just call to get it towed? One problem, that you might not have thought of is, what if she drives off and gets lost? Here in Tucson, that happens and the senior citizen winds up dead.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Sorry you're facing this. My brother who is 68 has COPD and recently was hospitalized and diagnosed with CHF. He has short term memory loss and is easily fatigued. Most people, medical professionals, nurses, agree he shouldn't drive, but the doctor wouldn't return my call to discuss it. I got online and googled it, I was surprised to see how many states popped up. It looked like most states have a way to anonymously report a driver you believe should not be driving due to a medical, psychiatric or other condition/reason. Here in FL there is a form to complete and fax or mail or you can call the DMV. They will investigate by contacting the doctor. We are going to the doctor tomorrow so it may not be necessary for the state to investigate in our case, but it's something you might want to check into on behalf of your mom. It's not just dangerous for our loved one but other people as well and that's what prompted me to take action.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Report it to the police. Write a letter and send it by certified (or was that registered) mail with a photo of the the red line on her car to her doctor and to DMV. Be short and to the point why you don't think your mom should be driving. Keep a copy of the letters and the registered receipt. This is your paper trail as proof of you trying to stop her from driving.

Keep trying to stop her. If you're up to the current news, there was an elderly man who drove against traffic with police in hot pursuit. They did the pit maneuver and even shot at him. Afterwards, in every news channel, they said he had dementia. Everyone asked, "Why didn't the family stop him from driving?" "Just go to the doctor or to DMV" And one viewer tweated, "it's not that easy."
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Report the red line of damage to the police department and insurance company. Unreported accidents become the basis for suspending her license or DMV requiring a road test.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Call your local DMV and ask them what can be done about it. However, if her Dr. ok's your mom to drive there may not be anything you can do about it officially. Unofficially you can try to convince her to give up driving. I had to do this with my dad. It didn't happen overnight, it was a process. Finally I took my dad to his cardiologist, whom my dad had a lot of respect for, and the cardiologist suggested he not drive anymore.

In your profile it said your mom has lung disease but it didn't say how old she was. Does the lung disease prevent her from driving safely or is it her age?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.