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I live in the SE and after 23 years of trying to persuade my mum (who is now in her late 70's) to move down from the NW, she has finally given in, as she's struggling to get up the stairs in her 4 bedroom house, as well as struggling to take care of it. She can't get down the steps in front of the house and rarely leaves the houses these days. She has no family and no neighbours and no support where she is.

Her Dr is a twit and has told her not to move because she wouldn't be able to cope with the 3 hour drive down! I know it's not going to be an easy journey for her and wondered if anyone has experienced anything similar. She has severe rheumatoid arthritis and has has a few heart attacks over the last few years. However, I think it's a crappy thing for the Dr to say as her quality of life would improve dramatically.

I would really love her to have a better quality of life and be somewhere where she is not stressing about coping and living as she is now.

Has anyone got any so,unions to this, she is now scared to move because of what the Dr has said.

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My question is the same as BA8's. Unless you have spoken to her doctor there is no way to know if your mum is interpreting him correctly. Definitely check into this and plan to go with mum to her next appointment.
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I do not see any problem with a three hour drive as long as she is not doing the driving and the car is comfortable. You can make frequent stops and get regular cups of tea and potty stops. She will need to get off the motorway frequently because if she has been housebound all the noise and fast traffic will likely make her anxious.
Try and make the trip on a Sunday when the traffic is lighter and you will be able to get around London more easily. Get mum some sunglasses to keep out the glare and dim the traffic. Provide a soft pillow and a light blanket. Make sure she has her pain meds and something to sip on in the car.
As far as packing her house up. She should not attempt any of that but must be allowed to choose the things she wants to keep if she is downsizing. Arrange with an auction house to take everything saleable and put in one of their auctions. anything else dump or donate if useable like old clothes. Is she actually going to live with you or somewhere nearby? she sounds independent enough to be alone at least for a while. I have done the pack what I want and then go the auction route several times and it works well. you don't get much money but does save the hassle,
you mention that mum has finally given in and agreed to the move. does she really want to move from the area she knows. Maybe she would prefer to stay in the same area but in a smaller place like senior housing where she would be able to socialize more and not need to worry about house and garden etc. i realize you want to be close so you can help her out but is she really ready for this. You say she is in her late 70s so in theory she could remain independent for another 5 - 10 years. she sounds very capable if she has managed a big house up to now Eventually she may become too ill and weak to be alone but if you can let her make that decision and heed what others say about taking on the caregiving roll. it is not an easy path. One last thought obtain a wheel chair for the trip. It's sometimes a long way to walk in the car parks on the motorway especially if you are stiff from sitting in a car. and finally why not bring her down for a month or so and see if she really likes living in the south after all those years as a northerner.
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If Mom does come to live with you please be prepared. Contact your local Elder Affairs and make sure you get her involved in their daily activities.. They have senior daycare programs and find home care other than yourself to help her out daily.. Make sure you know what services are available for her prior to her arrival... The less she is depended on you, will help you continue to have a healthy relationship with her.. BE PREPARED!!
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Did the doctor tell YOU that this is his advice, or is this what your mom reported to you. Several years ago, I realized that what my mom was telling me her doc was telling her made no sense. She was apparently no longer able to understand the nuances of what he was telling her snd would come away with wild misinterpretations of what he was saying. If you haven't already, call the doctor yourself and see if if this is actually what he's telling her.
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So trying to get up and down stairs in her home is ok but a one time, 3 hour drive to your place is not ok?

I'm not a Dr. and I would never suggest to anyone to defy what a Dr. tells them but this simply makes no sense.
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