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I've been the one taking her to Dr.s and doing her meds and reminding her to bathe. But she will not warm up to me. They did add a med for her behavior, but she still has alot of anger towards me. It's only been 2 months and I'm ready to throw the towel in. Please help.

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I think you are an extremely loving and kind person.

Many people in your shoes would
(1) never try in the first place or
(2) give up sooner.

The fact that you are coming to this forum for advice on how to make this work (and not quit now) speaks volumes about your character.

I disagree with the doctor - I think you can win her over.

Just keep trying. Most people wouldn’t.

Remember that she is trapped in her body. It hurts. She can’t communicate. It’s frustrating. She may understand that she can’t understand.

Be very patient. Find out what she responds to - music, certain foods? Fragrances? A soft blanket? What makes her calm?

Keep trying as as long as you want. No one will fault you for quitting.

I think you’re amazing for trying. I’m sure your boyfriend thinks you are an angel from heaven. You are on this journey together and you are a lifesaver for him.

Few people ever have (or take) the opportunity to be a true life hero.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to ACaringDaughter
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Your profile says that you're taking care of Maxine, whose your boyfriend's mother. I'm assuming this is the woman who doesn't like you?

If yes, accept that you are dealing with someone who has Alzheimer's. Her brain is becoming like Swiss cheese. Anger is part of her disease. Don't take it personally.

If she still recognizes and likes her son, and you love her son, they both are very lucky to have you. It is very kind of you to help care for her. It also is very important that you establish healthy boundaries with your boyfriend sooner rather than later. Step back from the whole situation for a week and see how you feel. She can live for many more years, and her care needs will only increase. Is that the life you want for yourself?

Do not neglect yourself i.e. your needs, your life, your family, your work, your friends, your hobbies, your education, your whatever and give up your identity by becoming her primary caregiver.
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Reply to NYDaughterInLaw
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You are a stranger to her. She may never warm up to you. She has lost that ability. Isn't there other family members who can help?
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Reply to JoAnn29
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