I went through H*LL caring for my mother. I was not working at the time, and in the beginning it wasn't bad...but of course got worse as time went on. I had no help whatsoever from my siblings. Mom passed in August, 2013. I started working full-time again in November of that year, and feel like i FINALLY have my own life back.
2 months ago, my sister (the one who lived 2 hours away, yet it was "too far" for her to come visit Mom, let alone volunteer to help care for her) has come to stay with us. She is going through a divorce & had nowhere else to go. Oh - and she was diagnosed with MS last year. Apparently her husband couldn't handle the prospect of caring for her and filed divorce papers...he essentially threw her out & things are getting ugly. I probably can't repeat the names I have called him.
I was asked if she could stay here until things got settled, and until she found a place of her own - I didn't really "want" to, but couldn't have her on the streets, so my husband and I agreed. I had NO IDEA her condition was as bad as it is until she arrived (because, as previously stated, I didn't see her much at all in the past several years). She can't walk without support - she has actually fallen several times since she got here, so I told her to use mom's walker, but she still insists that a cane is "fine" (eyeroll). She cant work. She has no income at the moment, but has filed for Social Security Disability (and as you know that is a process & could take forever). She does NOTHING but sit on the couch and watch TV literally all. day. long. I feel like I have been dumped in the middle of yet another caregiving h*ll, and I just can't do it again.
There is a LOT of anger and resentment leftover from the past, and I just don't know how to get out of this one. I told my husband that once she gets SSDI & I am hoping she will get it sooner rather than later (I believe MS is one of the conditions that qualifies fairly easily...I could be wrong?) we will help her find her own place but I do NOT want her staying here any longer than she has to. Am I a horrible person? I just feel like I'm being taken advantage of, for granted, whatever you want to call it. I told her she needs to file for spousal support - that's the least that SOB can do if he's essentially walking away from her, and that will help pay for her own essentials in the meantime, but so far she hasn't done so because he is still in possession of all of her stuff and she's afraid he won't let her come get it if she files that paperwork. I told her she needs to figure out what she's going to do with it - either retrieve it & put it in storage or whatever, but we don't have room to store it here. Of course then it doesn't get mentioned again...thinking I need to give her a deadline to do so. It'll be 3 months in February since she's come here and I think that's more than enough time to figure things out & get over the shock.
Sorry for rambling..I just feel like I'm between yet another rock & a hard spot. The thought of having to care for another family member (especially one that has burned me so many times in the past) is bringing back all that stress and junk that I finally got over. I need ideas on how to handle this one....