I don't want mom here but I can't afford assisted living. What are my options?

Annabelle-

I went back and saw that you have, in fact, talked about the same thing over and over. My heart goes out to you.

You live in Seattle. One the most expensive states to live in--the flip side being there is a LOT of Medicaid $$ being thrown around. My DIL is a Dr. in WA and she sees primarily Medicaid patients.

There are SO MANY options available to you--I just went online and looked up low income housing for Seattle and found 40-50 places. Now, I am not saying they are all great and perfect for your mother, but I think with some digging and persistence, you can get her placed in a NH and there would be no money out of your pocket. You have to get approved and be on a waiting list in most of these apartments, but the sooner the better.

Once mother is firmly ensconced in her new place, is it possible for you to get a job and get on with your life? Whether or not mom is happy with this move is really not your fault nor your problem. She's sucking the life out of you. When someone is drowning, you don't jump in the water to save them--you throw them a lifeline. You and mom are BOTH in the water and flailing about and nobody's helping you...cause you have to WANT to be saved.

If she is rational---you have time to work with her to see that living together isn't going to work any more. A rational person can handle that.

My son is an attorney in Seattle--he does not deal with Medicaid, per se, but he could look up what you'd need to begin with. Actually, the forms online are pretty clear and straightforward. I imagine he'd tell you to start the Medicaid application program NOW.

How old are you and do you have kids to care for? Or is it just you and Mom? (Sorry, too many dramas on here to keep track of everyone's situation).

The ball is in your court. There are NEVER "NO" options. Maybe ones we aren't thrilled about, but never "nothing can be done". Your mom cannot force you to care for her, nor can she force you to live with her.

You're also obviously very depressed, as anyone in your situation would be. You can apply for mental health benefits with Medicaid, too. Take advantage of all the resources they can offer--get back on your feet and be independent. That will help you feel better than anything else.

Good Luck to you.

Annabelle--
People want to help you but we need more information other than that you want mom to leave and you're filled with rage.

Think for a bit and write out a thoughtful, point by point statement on how you feel and what your circumstances are. You may be very pleasantly surprised to find there ARE options for you.

Can you get outside for a bit today and decompress? Your anger can't be helping the situation.

Good luck.

Hello Annabelle
Where are you at?

Can you open the front door, look outside? Is there fresh air?

Depends on Mom's health and finances.

She should t be alone we're both poor

I already did write out details of my situation many times on this site there aren't options for me

Oh and I have to go out today to shop and run errands because there's no one else to do it

You need either power of attorney if she's reasonable, or guardianship if she's not with the caveat that the court would have to find her not able to make rational decisions. You need to begin the process of getting her on Medicaid. Go down to your local county offices and talk to someone, get the paperwork. It can be a lot of work, but the sooner you start, the sooner this will be resolved. Be prepared for hurt feelings.

She is rational