We don't want to get involved with Medicaid. Any financial assistance?

VA Aid and Attendance if she or your Dad was a veteran during a war. We were able to help our Mom to get it and it's very close to $1200. You can find out about it on va.gov.

Thanks, my brother insists VA benefits aren't worth the time. Any thoughts on this?

I got va benefits for my mom in 3 months. She now gets 1149 a month to help pay for care. If you check my about me page you will find my blog site where I showed the steps I took to get claim done so quickly.

Also. Adult foster home for the Aged are half the cost of nursing homes, great home like settings you will be pleasantly surprised if you check in to these.

She nor my dad are VA. So that isn't an option for us. I can look into adult foster homes. Not sure if we have any around here for the elderly. We have them for MRDD. I will look into it though. Just seems like there should be some grant or something to help out a little.

Medicaid is the 'grant'. Why is Medicaid an issue? In Indiana if she brings in $2199 or less she can own a car and a house and still qualify for Medicaid Waiver benefits, like in home care or Structured Family Caregiving, where a relative or friend can be paid to deliver service while living with her.

Medicaid is an Issue if family is counting on an inheritance.

Another alternative is to have her live with one of you, and use her money to hire a caregiver at about $18 to $20 /hr. $2000 per month would give you about 3 to 4 hours per day of a caregiver.

Kannie, if the Federal and State government had financial benefits to give to those who are caring for parents/inlaws/aunts/uncles/spouse/siblings/children then all States would be bankrupted within months.

Please use Medicaid, that is why it is there, to help take care of those who cannot afford to take care of themselves, for whatever reason.

freqflyer some state governments like MA, CT, RI, LA, KS, and IN, to name a few, do provide financial benefits to give to those who are caring for parents/inlaws/aunts/uncles/siblings/children. In Indiana it is called Structured Family Caregiving and the states are not going broke because it is about 1/2 the cost of putting someone in a nursing home, so it is SAVING the states money and helping people to stay in the community longer.

Betty - Structured Family Caregiving is a MEDICAID waiver program. The original poster does not want to utilize Medicaid. Not much in the way of government assistance that will not either require recovery from the elder's assets (before or after death) or explanation of financial activities over the last 5 years. Since Medicaid is available to offset costs, most nursing homes don't offer cost reductions due to family not wanting to use it.

Guestshopadmin you are correct. A Miller Trust is subject to only a 90 day look back and can protect assets. But I suggested the Medicaid waiver because it has higher income guidelines. Some people don't want to use Medicaid because they don't want to be labeled as poor. Not all people who are eligible for medicaid (waiver) are poor.

Dear Kannie - You didn't indicate the state of residence or the level of care needed for your mom. I found Medicaid options scarey. Additionally - there is no crystal ball to let you know how much longer his situation will last. I cared for my mother during her 'age related decline' for almost 8 yrs. Granted the first couple of years were minor - but hence the word 'decline'. I figured it would cost my whole paycheck to cover 10hr in-home supervision. (8hr work+commutes) so I did it myself. Probably saved $385K (which she nor I had) over a period of 8 yrs.
If you can live in the same place & do it yourself; it's hard - but keeps the gov't out of your personal affairs.

'his' should be 'this'

What state are you in? In NC, they offer what is called NC Special Assistance. It's a state program for seniors who qualify and the disabled. It comes in many forms. I'm not sure what other states have similar programs. You might check with your county of social services. That is who handles most of the applications in our state.

Freqflyer and Betty...Medicaid is out of the question for us. It's a long story but we built a house with a granny house out back 17 years ago. Mom insisted at the time her name be on the deed. We removed her name two years ago but with the 5 year look back Medicaid will recover her house which is really our house. It was one loan one mortgage and we paid for it all. I'm not willing to lose my house because of Medicaid. We are in Ohio. Mom is only 73 and no major health issue. The problem is neurological effects from cancer and transverse myelitis. She could live for years. I've been caring for her 13 years. The last two have killed me. I have young kids and I just can't keep sacrificing 6-8 hours of my day back there while my kids are home without their mom. It's also taking a to on me physically. I need help but again not Medicaid. That is why I was hoping for a different type of assistance program.

I think there are exceptions for children who live in the house and care for the parents for several years before they apply. I would get expert legal advice on it, before I took someone's word on it. I would find an Elder Law attorney in your state that knows the rules and can give you a concrete answer on whether you meet any exceptions.

If she doesn't need a nursing home can she do ALF or an Adult Care Family Home(usually 3-5 clients in a private home)? Depends on her level of needs. Usually 1/3rd the price of a NH at least in Florida! Check your states AHCA website or equivalent ask around talk to your local senior center also. Also Our Home and several sites for Alzheimers/Memory care will do much of the leg work for you and they know who charges what and what licenses need to be in place it is a free service to you. Good Luck!

Kannie, please note that 40% of caregivers pass away while caring for a love one. Those are terrible odds. We don't want to see you on that list.

Please don't misinterpret this, but what is more important, the house or your life?

Any way a paid caregiver could come in to help you out during the day so you can be with your children?

Why not sell the house and put her in an AL. The one here u have two years to cover care and after that sign up for medicaid.

Kannie, there are two ways to find out the best resources available. First make a phone call to Area Agency on Aging. Every county in US has one. They have answers to all your questions and resources available.
Second if you want to find Adult Foster Homes go to your state website mine is Michigan.gov. Do a search for AFH. You will come up with a huge list then look for the ones that are classified for elderly and not disabled. You should find some they are becoming very popular as our population ages rapidly. Let me know if I can help in anyway. My about me page list my blog where u can contact me. Good luck!

Do not use your own funds! We were told that with caring for my mother by quite a few professional people.

Thanks ramiller. I will do that!!


Thanks ramiller. I will do that and check out your page. I found one AFH about 45 minutes away and contacted them for information. Not ideal with the distance but it would be doable. We live in a small rural town so I'm probably not going to find anything closer than that.

Joanne, I will use some of my funds. I would rather do that than be involved with the government. And no way will we sell our house. We have lived here 17 years, built it ourselves, and it's paid for. Not gonna start over. Not in this economy.

Yea well you want to make sure you check that program out thoroughly.I'm in Macomb county MI, and here the program is referred to as D.H.S. waiver program that will pay anyone with the exception of the spouse to help with the daily maintenance of my wife.What a farce,case worker comes out to my house to tell me that they will maybe pay a couple hours a week and that program is not to help to watch over my wife.2 years ago wife gets checkup was fine except a spot in lung.Long story made short surgeon screwed her up We did not sue within 2 years she now is on oxygen 24/7 takes 30ml morphine 3 tmes day oxy every 4 hrs 12 other meds plus 2 inhalers now thats all I will mention,but there is more.So you can probably see the 24hr maintenance required.Oh yes at 55 years old is on 24/7 direct supervision.Since I cant afford to pay for help and have already used up all the I will be there for yous and burned out friends and relatives. I am on my own caring for my wife of 36 years and yes I am on extended personal leave from work with no income so I can care for my wife.Oh I lose my job on 8/3/15 if I cant return.I apologize for my complaining but my point is that someone that could really use the help gets overlooked due to the freeloaders in life.Until this surgeon screwed up my wifes life we both worked and were productive.Dont trust Government programs.Oh and if you don't know, state programs want reimbursed on expenses from the estate of the person on case

I agree army dad! I will be praying for you and your wife. The whole brain radiation fried my moms brain. Dr told her it would have no lasting side effects. Yea, right! Don't ever get WBR. Quality of life more important.

Kannie - As I read this, the issue is not at all about what would be the best nursing and care situation for your mom, but rather how to protect what you see as your asset & due which is the house that mom owns and you all live in.

Finding a grant so you can get around Medicaid, ain't gonna happen…..

Medicaid - which is a joint federal & state program - is limited for those who are "at-need" both medically & financially. You mom sounds like she qualifies. All states who participate in Medicaid are required to have the participant do some sort of co-pay and recoup/reimbursement for care paid for by most all Medicaid programs (not just NH) for those over 55 from the Medicaid participant or their assets or their estate.

All states have exemptions and exclusions to both the co-pay and the recoup. Those include spousal support set-asides; caregiver provisions; low income heirs; deductions for costs of care and costs of maintenance for property; there are all sorts of exemptions and exclusions. Just what they are and how to best deal with these vary by state (just as Medicaid varies by state). How to deal with MERP (Medicaid Estate Recovery) varies by state as death laws & probate vary by state. You need an experienced elder law attorney to go over what options are out there and what could work for your situation. If you want a way around Medicaid, to protect what you see as your interest, then imho you are going to have to spend your own time & $ to start on this process and do it within the legal framework for your state.

If you are currently using mom's SS or other retirement income to enable your own family living situation in her home, you may find that you have no choice but to continue to caregive for her in her home till the 5 year lookback is done & over. You should still see good legal as you need to set everything up so that there is clearly no financial co-mingling of her funds and yours, as between doing that and the house transfer, you could find yourself in Medicaid application hell in needing to provide documentation for all checks or withdrawals that are not for a verifiable vendor (like electric company or tax assessor). If you are using mom's income to make ends meet, 5 yr look back could be from now (2015) to 2020.

THere may not be experienced elder law where you live, but will be in in your state capitol or other larger city. This site has a drop down list by state of legal.

Igloo, it's our home. My moms. Not that that changes much.

Ugh... That should say "not moms"

Kannie - you wrote that your mom's name is on the deed as well as yours. So if that is the case, it is not your home. Her ownership would be 1/3 unless there was an agreement differently at the time of purchase and recorded at courthouse. And then mom deeded her share to you 2 years ago. If this is the situation, if mom applies for Medicaid there will be a transfer penalty for her share of the ownership that she gifted to you 2 years ago. All real property sales & transfers are recorded and there is no way around Medicaid finding out about the transfer. I assume that this is why you are wanting to find a program to pay for her care that does not involve Medicaid, isn't that the situation?

It sounds like you have been paying 100% of the mortgage as well? Unless you have a legal agreement as to how the mortgage was to be credited to you against her or her estate, it doesn't matter that she paid zero on the mortgage. The mortgage holder doesn't care who pays it as long as it is paid. Ditto for tax assessor, insurance companies, etc. If you are paying for things, you need an agreement as to the terms on payments made or costs incurred.

Really in my experience, your options are limited:
- continue to take for her for whatever period of time takes you all beyond the 5 year mark so no transfer penalty, then apply for Medicaid to pay for her care either at home on some waiver in-home service or at a NH
- apply for Medicaid now and work with an attorney to get the caregiver exemption done so that the transfer of the property is viewed as within the exclusion to estate recovery by Medicaid.
- apply for Medicaid now and deal with the transfer penalty. If the house is low value, 1/3 may not be all that much and hopefully the NH will work out a payment option. If you are running out of caregiving ability, it could come to this. If you have significant costs spent that could lower her share, the transfer penalty could be reduced as well - speak with an attorney as to this possibility.
- you quit claim the property back to her, apply for Medicaid get her into a NH and deal with MERP - estate recovery of her 1/3 of the house when she finally dies.

Whatever the choice, you need good legal advise on how to do any of this so that the costs on the house you are paying for are in some way credited to you whether now or later. It's hard and not pretty choices to be made for all. Good luck

It depends on your situation. If you are trying to hold on to her financial assets, you will have to keep her in home care. Of course that's only a few hours per day, an someone would have to be with the other times. Other wise, in Illinois, Medicaid will pay, but they will want her assets used to offset the cost of her care first. If she is sick along time, Medicaid might be your best approach.