What would you do if you honestly did not trust anyone in your immediate family to be your POA?

Hehehehe .. we could start a matching service.

Dear vstefans & LadeeC,
It breaks my heart to read your family dynamics - but I'm in the same boat. Guess what - we're 3 for 3.
And, I recently heard a Death & Dying discussion on the local Senior Center Without Walls, where a woman talked about her having broken her femur, spent time in a rehab clinic before homecare - and thru it all realized her daughter "did & said everything wrong - so didn't want her daughter doing anymore caregiving". Ha. There's more of this going on than meets the eye.

America is said to be a caring/compassionate nation - but I think people have gotten too selfish, and "lost it".

Maybe the 3 of us should look after each other.

You would have to seek out a lawyer and get your will and wishes done, have it all documented. Since my husband's passing it really opened up my eyes to things that do take place, such as fights, famiy division, the takers and the givers. My sister who passed away 4 months before my husband last year had the same issues, so we went and had 2 POA'S drawn up. I was her POA for her health and her best friend was POA for her estate. But in her case when she was in the last phase her children did a whole lot of growing up. I was very proud of them, they handled things alot better then we both thought. My husband did not have a will which made a mess of everything. The will is what treads water, the POA'S stop at the time of death. Hope this helps but of coarse a lawyer can advise you better.

Well .. geez. Good question. Now that I think of it, I'm in the same boat. My dad is too old, and I don't trust any of my siblings to honor MY wishes. With a fair amount of intent I've isolated away from anyone I called friend (the one I might have, has passed).

And then, there's the idea that having a POA or being an Administrator of an estate/will is no walk in the park ... even for relatively healthy people.

In my case, I have no estate, there's nothing to distribute (more like donate to some worthy cause). Maybe it's best if I simply draw up a will (or whatever is correct) to specify my wishes and let the state take over. If I'm not capable of making a decision, I really don't care. Hahahah .. maybe I'll run an ad in Craig's List and see if anyone is crazy enough to volunteer.