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I started noticing a few years ago if we were in the car going somewhere and my mom got hungry or needed to use the bathroom that she wanted food or to stop NOW. She'd be more and more irritable with every passing moment until she got what she wanted, kind of like a grumpy baby that missed their nap.


She just had a knee replacement about a week ago and I feel like I'm dealing with the neediest person alive. She has a commode and doesn't want to walk to the bathroom. I got her to walk there twice today because I've been telling her she needs to get up and walk so the knee heals properly. I just went in there and she didn't flush the toilet. The knee does not impact her ability to flush the toilet. So she comes out sits back down and starts complaining about being hot. Of course she's hot, it's only the second time she's walked all day. It's like she has no awareness that she's feeling hot because she walked fifty feet after sitting or lying down all day. I guarantee in about 15 minutes she's going to start talking about being cold and not connect that she wanted me to turn the heat down.


She wants pillows plumped, positioned and new ice packs continuously, they arent even in the freezer long enough to get cold before she wants new ones. She lays on the couch moaning (she won't sleep in her bed) and she's on quite a few meds to manage the pain. The doctor said the worst pain would likely be over by day 3- 5, I'm starting to think she expects to have no pain from this?


I took a week off of work because I figured she would be recovered enough by then to be alone during the day, I just asked for a second week off and she's already starting to make comments 'I hope I can be alone by then....'. You better be ready by then, Princess, I don't have anymore PTO.


Thank you for letting me vent!

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My dad stayed with me after his knee replacement. On the advice of his doctor and physical therapist I had him do most all his own care and always told him it was “part of the therapy” I did make his meals but he walked to the kitchen to eat. Successful recovery from this surgery depends on movement
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Well, the charm with a 2 year old is that he or she is growing UP. With our elders the trajectory is DOWN. As a nurse one of the most important things we learned was to maintain independence. Over and over kind and concerned families took up the tasks, even to feeding someone capable of feeding him or herself.
Again, I will repeat commenter Beatty's expression: "No other solutions will be found if you continue to be all the solutions".
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A very wise friend once told me, "We start life in diapers, and we end life in diapers."

He had no idea how accurate that statement would be. The behaviors that go along with diaper age are often a bonus, too.
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AlvaDeer Jan 2021
Indeed, as a nurse I can tell you that in the end of a long long life people go into a fetal position, with all tendons and muscles pulling in on that position.
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NO telling what the anesthesia did as well.. It should be completely out of system by now... I know my LO's ER doc said sometimes, when they come into hospital.. a bit of them stays behind.. So, "today" is new base.. And it changes as she is getting older.. :( At least she still knows who I am, and smiles at me, and says hello. She is happy to see me. But, she got her vaccine a few days ago, and her roommate says she is glad that I am checking on her, but she sleeps most of the day now.... I will make a video chat her her doctor Monday...
Do not enable her, but do keep an eye on her, make sure she is ok...Can anyone visit while you are at work?
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EmotionallyNumb Jan 2021
Probably not, I have one sister in town and she only stops by about once per month. She watched her one day for me and arrived an hour late, left for an hour in the middle of the day and left an hour before I was done working.
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Most of them do that, yep.

Go back to work as soon as you can, and leave her to her own devices; teaching to fish vs giving a fish and all
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