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The mother cannot care for herself on a daily basis. She is getting to the point where she is almost unbearable to live with. she will not eat her meal and then 20 minutes later start complaining she wants candy. there is no assistance from either or the caregivers siblings.

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SS funds can be used to pay for a caregiver, but that assumes there is money left ove rfrom other bills such as utilities and food. If you can no longer take care of her at home, her SS funds can be used for NH or ALF, whichever is appropriate to her. NH is based on a medical diagnosis stating that skilled nursing is called for, ALF is custodial care for people who need help in daily activities. Look into the facilities in your area. You sound exhausted, hope you get a break soon.
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