Follow
Share
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Gosh. Does living in a little, bleak room with people down the hall from you whooping and yelling because they have dementia and have no idea where they are cause depression? Does sitting on a toilet with a string and a piece of wood dangling in front of you to pull in case you need help wiping yourself depress you? Does eating the worst smelling, tasting, looking cold food in the world rather than whatever you have available in your fridge at home depress you? Does having a hospital bed with metal rails rather than your bed that you slept in with your husband of 60 years depress you? Does having every item you own fit into a little closet and never needing much to wear besides what's in there because your world has gotten so small you have no where to go depress you? I could go on and on. Diapers are depressing, smelling like urine (or your environment) is depressing, having none of your friends still alive and nobody to talk to plus a lot of people who never made it past high school when you have a Masters Degree calling you 'Sweetie" is depressing! This was my mother in law's life and she thought people were a little nuts when they'd ask her if she was depressed! I did too! While it may be necessary because of a fall or a heat condition or a general condition over all of not being able to stay in your home because you are just very old to move out of your home (she lived in hers for 45 years) I cannot see how anyone who doesn't have total brain loss could feel 'positive' about this. The sad thing was that she had a small home all on one level that she could have had help in and she had the financial means. But she had one son, not my husband, who insisted she sell everything and move into the assisted living facility, after which she was immediately moved to LTC because she'd fallen and broken her hip twice. After the initial stage of denial and anger at being there, yes, she did 'get better' in some ways. She resigned herself to the fact that this was the way it was going to be. She lasted five years and pretty much age candy and cookies and turned up her nose at the crap they served at that place. I don't blame her. It was awful. I hope if I ever have to go to a place like that my mind is so far gone I have no idea where I am.
Helpful Answer (10)
Report

Nursing home life causes depression. Losing a loved one causes depression. Loss of independence causes depression. Chronic pain causes depression. Repeated lack of sleep causes depression. Poor nutrition causes depression. Certain vitamin deficiencies cause depression. Dementia causes depression.

Or rather, any of these things can cause or contribute to depression. Some people seem more susceptible to being depressed than others. Certainly there are junk food addicts that never experience depression. Not everyone in a nursing home is depressed. Some people go into a nursing home depressed and overcome that with better nutrition and more attention they get in a care center. Some people adjust to their diminishing independence without becoming clinically depressed.

The triggers for depression can be complex and vary by individual. I certainly wouldn't say that entering a nursing home automatically causes depression. But it is a condition I would watch for and consider treating.
Helpful Answer (9)
Report

I agree w/ Jeannegibbs that "not everyone in a nursing home is depressed," but Frustrated described the scenario pretty accurately, I'd say. I've been to many also (visiting), and to do some checking-out in case it would ever be needed for my Mom, and found them to be.....depressing!! Sad. And like one person mentioned, I suppose if the degree of dementia was such that you didn't know what was going on, you may live in a semi la la state where nothing bothered you, but if you had any degree of cognitive recognition, I can't imagine life in a nursing home. They are all so short staffed, as well, which just intensifies the misery. Visiting my aunt in a rehab facility after she broke her hip was terribly depressing. She died from what I contributed to lack of proper attention. Even though I went to visit her three times a day, the staff ignored most of my concerns...including repeated questions about a cough she had suddenly developed along w/ a fever. Pneumonia?? I kept asking. The nurses repeatedly told me her lungs were just fine. She died a week later. Pneumonia. I think they are mostly terrible holding tanks for the elderly with no alternative. I do agree that if the extensiveness of the nursing that is needed is way beyond what the person could get in a different environment, it becomes a necessary evil. But usually in that case the person is too ill to be bothered about the quality of food, the other residents, etc. One nursing home I visited had "activity rooms" where many people sat slumped over in wheelchairs in rows in front of a large screen TV. It was a terrible sight to see. It was like they were just plonked there to sit for God only knows how long, just to sit and be out of the way. They were not engaged in the show. They were just staring vacantly, or slumped and sleeping. I will not forget that image. Sad.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

Yeah, thanks for your dismal view of life in a nursing home, this could make me feel terrible, but I know my mother is in a good place, better than wandering the streets, being mugged, being robbed, being ripped off at home, burning the house down and hurting herself. Not all places are like what has been described, I have gone to my mother's place several times now, and she seems happy till she sees me then she wants to go home.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

It is heart breaking to be placed in this position. I moved from USA to care for my mother with Alzheimers, I gave up my life, my job, my car, my home, everything for her care. Her medical team urged residential care a year ago, I had been at it for 19 months trying to make it work for her at home. My mother was at times very nasty and after moving so far to help her she threw me under the bus and had neighbors call the police with stories of abuse, a nightmare. Since I did not have a lease on this house, they threw me in jail for the night, to follow up later in the evening in a homeless shelter. This she had no clue about, she did not remember anything, I sure did. My point is, when things place the caregiver's health and well being in danger it is time to rethink things. I never wanted my mother in residential care, but I CAN not provide 24 a round the clock care for her. Most people do not want to have to do residential care and they DO NOT need bullshit from people not facing the horror of the drama.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

Nursing homes are not the best places to spend the final years of life, but think for a moment. Is it better than pushing your belongings around in a shopping cart and sleeping under a bridge, being kicked awake at 3 am and told to move along. Being arrested for public indecency for having to pee behind a bush. Dinner tonight was good because the workers at McDonalds forgot to lock the dumpster. Maybe you can get in line early enough to get a bed at the shelter. It's Tuesday and that church on Main St has a soup and sandwich dinner tonight. If you can walk a couple of miles to the truck stop perhaps you can hitch a lift further down south and well on your way to somewhere warm for the winter. So many re possessed houses down there it is easy to break in and stay hidden. no gas or electricity but you can cook in the fireplace and it's easy enough to turn the water on and off in the street Take a cold shower and get cleaned up enough to go down to SS and get something out of the mean bastards or even pick up a few odd jobs. All kinds of possibilities if you are well enough, but what if you have AIDS cancer or a bad heart or are a veteran with only one leg and half an arm not so easy then. Then there is Ma crazy as a fruit cake but at least she keeps quiet, well as long as you can get her a beer but does she stink and those open sores sure attract the flies and there are maggots in the one on her leg.
Now how does a nursing home start to look. Never a first choice but sometimes better than the alternatives. Yes I have met these people. Funny, intelligent caring. Down on their luck too deep in despair and mental illness to help themselves. they still have the will to live but not the ability to do it alone. Can they survive and thrive in a Nursing Home, you bet they can. Do I want to hell no but if I have to I will
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

I always felt 'sad' when visiting a nursing home, but there were people I saw that seemed 'fine' in their surroundings. Those were the people with Alz/dementia who really didn't care where they were. I know nursing homes are a necessary thing as we are living longer than ever, but I'd check into the Adult Foster Care option WAY before looking into a nursing home to see if that would work for you. But either way, having your brain still and spending 24/7 in a nursing home, would be depressing. Can't be helped.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

My first off the cuff answer is DUH! I have been into several and no matter how classy, nice whatever you want to call it, it like a holding tank for death. Purgatory! But then I am also aware that some truly want and some truly need to be there. The problem in my view is the level of pay/respect for the workers. It is a friggin hard job!! And to be paid minimum wage is a Catastrophic mess! So when you surround people that are already not happy due to aging, and or being placed there unwillingly, and have people being paid 7-10 bucks an hour. You have my answer DUH!
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Now I'm depressed.......
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Doctors have told me that patients in Nursing Homes tend to die faster than those cared for at home. They lose their reason for living. A Nursing Home is kind of the end of the road and they know it. Many are over medicated to make it easier to care for them, they don't eat and there is no one usually to coax them to eat. It may sometimes because not more than warehousing of the sick and elderly. I guess if a patient sees or feels this, yes they will be depressed. In some instances it just becomes mandatory however as sad as it is.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.