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I am my mother's POA and Healthcare proxy. My brother who lives near her, never visits but claims he does. I know this is a lie and that's why I'm now fighting to bring her home. He's supposed to be looking after her, since he lives 1/2 mile away and I'm in another state. When I call, I ask the nurses if anyone has visited my mother and they are telling me that they cannot tell me if anyone has visited her...is this true? My mom has dementia and cannot speak for herself.

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In regard to your original question, "When I call, I ask the nurses if anyone has visited my mother and they are telling me that they cannot tell me if anyone has visited her...is this true?" Many nursing homes do not have guest books nor do they require the guests to register when they come to visit. So the nursing home your mother is in may not be able to tell you if your brother visited because they truly, truly don't know. Also, the HIPPA Privacy laws might be part of the issue (problem) as to why the nurses can't tell you anything.

You are still your mother's POA and health care proxy until your brother's petition for Guardianship is completely processed by the court system, which can take 6+ months.

I realize that many of us are writing responses to problems other than the one you asked about. However, in the BIG PICTURE of your mother's life, the fact that your brother has petitioned for Guardianship is the most important issue (other than the APS issue) that you need to be worrying about right now. Since he has a history of taking money from you and your mother for gambling and substance use, he may be trying to get Guardianship so that he take your mother's MEDICARE/MEDICAID check and instead of giving it to the nursing home to pay her bills, he plans to use it to support his gamble and substance abuse. THIS IS ILLEGAL and he can be arrested for "stealing from Medicare/Medicaid". Also, if he is not using the Medicare/Medicaid payment to pay the nursing home, the nursing home has the right to refuse to take care of your mother and "kick her out" of their facility. I have seen it happen more than once.

I am sorry that you are having such a tough situation with your mother. I pray that God will show you which problems are the ones to minimize or ignore for right now (the number of times that your brother visits) and show you which problems need your immediate and complete attention (his petition for guardianship.) Please keep us updated on your situation and if you have any other questions, please feel free to ask. We care about you and your family very, very much.
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Oh my, YES, consult a lawyer ASAP if you want to challenge your brother's petition for guardianship.
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As things stand, unless and until decided otherwise, you are your mother's health care proxy. You are entitled to all information concerning your mother's health and welfare. The facility should be keeping accurate records of visitors. They should be able to tell you who has visited.

There is a but.

If they won't give you the information, what are you going to do about it? How, exactly, are you going to make them? Go to law? Haven't you got enough trouble?

Forget this battle, it just doesn't matter. If proving whether or not your brother and his children do visit your mother comes into it, then the records will be consulted. But they're never going to be more than a detail in any case.

(If, for example, your mother had suffered a theft or an assault and you needed to establish a person's presence on a particular date it wouldn't be just a detail - but in that case the police would be asking for the information and it still wouldn't be your job to get it).

Looked at from the facility's point of view, there is a legal sh*t-storm going on and they have run for cover. Also, you are a nice, reasonable, normal human being. I doubt if your brother is anything like as pleasant to deal with. It's not so much as they're on his side as that they really don't want him in their face, and he is in the area.

I understand the enraging frustration of asking a simple question and getting a load of answers to other much more complicated questions. But to be fair, there's nothing simple about any of this, is there?
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The BIG ISSUE here is that your brother has petitioned for GUARDIANSHIP. Guardianship and/or Conservatorship override any "POA and Health proxy" that your mother made in 2009. Luckily you have until February 2018 to get ready and countersue for Guardianship and Conservatorship. You need to talk to a lawyer in the TOWN WHERE YOUR MOTHER IS LIVING who specializes in Guardianship & Conservatorship of the Elderly and hire them ASAP!!!!!
Here are the websites for the Department of Justice for New York and Nevada that you need to look at so that you understand just what is happening and about to happen to your mother: https://www.nycourts.gov/ip/gan/manual/ENGLISH.pdf
https://nvcourts.gov/Law_Library/Resources/Forms/Standardized_Guardianship_Forms/
In regards to the information that you took with you the first time, the judge didn't need to look at them because all he was doing was legally accepting your brother's petition for guardianship which is the start of the process. Look at the websites and talk to the lawyers ASAP!!!
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Let me clarify; I didn't think a lot of the following would be necessary considering the question which was: Does the nursing home staff have to let me know if anyone was or was not there to visit my mom, since I'm her POA and health care proxy. I thought someone here might have an answer to this question?
Here go more details; my mother named me her POA and Health proxy in 2009 before her dementia was progressive. After 3 years of home care, we ran out of money and I didn't know (if I knew then what I know now) at that time I could get assistance from government for home care. 5 years ago, my brother and I were talking and he said there was a place near him and that he and his kids were so close by (1/2 mile) that they could visit her all the time and therefore provide her with the attention she needs. Well, after about 6 months of this, I asked him how often he was getting there and he became irate. He also started asking me to send him money and that he was spending $800-1,000 a month on provisions. I told him that I'd like to speak to the business office and if they needed something from me, I'd send to them; more history, my brother has "borrowed" money from me since I was about 7 and I have yet to see a dollar of the 1,000's of dollars back so while it took me decades to come to, I finally realized that I could not trust him with money again. He's a former substance addict and now I believe has kept the gambling addiction going strong. So, my brother received a check in the amount of $25,000 from mom's former landlord to give up her rent controlled apartment. Once I started asking him a couple of normal questions about visiting her and for a list of items that she needed as well as a list of what he had spent the money on, he became spiteful and violent and began slandering me to anyone who'd listen. He'd also refuse to call me with updates on mom...which was to hurt me, intern hurting her as well as, what I later discovered, was because he wasn't going there but maybe once a month...and maybe for 1/2 hour. How did I know that? Whenever I'd go, most of the CNAs didn't even know who he was. The only one who seemed to know him was the administrator at the NH. Having been bullied and manipulated my whole life, it took me until 1 year ago to really starting fighting for her. I've now spent a total of 79 days and 79 nights there this year, caring for all of her needs and preparing to bring her back home to live at home with me. 
I have found agencies to assess and eventually provide home care as well as clarify all of her current coverage through her union. I am a health coach myself and have CPR/AED/First Aid and Basic Life support for health care providers certifications and will be a certified nurse's assistant by the end of February. The summary of the story is brother had agreed that he and his kids, in fact one who is a nurse would be caring for mom, brother admitted that he hated going there and doe snot go there anymore, except for when it's convenient for him (his own words) I agreed to bring her home, planned and prepared for all of her needs, when I finally went to get her, social worker informed me that he petitioned the court for guardianship. However, there has been no judgement made so as of today, I'm still her POA and Health care proxy. But the nursing home nurse's are telling me that they are "not allowed" or that they "don't wan too get in the middle" of telling me if he's showed up or not. To clarify further, I want him to show up, I can't be there anymore this year because i've used all days off and took FMLA time. I want to know if someone else is looking out for her. I know by the testimony of other NH family members, CNAs, RAs, PT and even the kitchen and cleaning crew that I'm the only one they see with her. My question is, "As her POA/HC Proxy, is the nursing home staff obligated to answer me when I ask them, "Has anyone been to visit my mother?"
Also, to address the care provided at a NH; a staff on site 24/7 doesn't equal 24/7 attention...and we all know that...and it is evidenced by the rotting teeth in her mouth that no one ever brushes and the bruises and unexplained marks I've found on her. (I opened a case with APS in Nevada) I have made schedules and plans in NYC to provide for her medical, spiritual, mental and social needs and brought them all to court in addition to pictures of my mom's neglect and texts from my brother telling me to take her home and cursing about the nursing home and how much he hates it...judge didn't look at it, ask about it, nothing...he just set a date for the end of February.
Also, I'm not "mad at my brother" I love my brother and wish he wouldn't be verbally abusive and violent towards me and I wish he would stop slandering me with insane lies and I pray that he would have a revelation so that we can talk and work the south for my mother's best interest. She is being neglected. You don;t just park people in a nursing home and wait for them to dies.
Does anyone have an answer to the original question?
I'd like to add another: who in this forum if given the choice (and this is a person whose medical needs add up to, 2 pills 2x a day and change a BP med patch) would say, "I'd rather live in a nursing home than at home with my family?" I sure would rather live with my daughter who can lift me, change me, who brushes my teeth every day and night, wipes my nose so that it doesn't run into my food, who gives me an option to eat later if I'm not hungry at 12:00 or 5:00 and offers me options that she knows I like, who washes my face every morning so that I don't have crusty eyes, gives me a shower every other day, who prays with me, looks me in the eye and talks to me even if I can't answer, who shows me respect and treats me with dignity, gives me constant attention, affection (which improves mental and physical health) and turns off the TV and other sounds at night so I can sleep peacefully and who provides hand selected caring people to do the same when she can't be right there. 
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What do you mean by "bring her home"? To her house? Your house? A NH near you, so you can visit often? If she needs NH level of care, that is not likely to be easily provided in a home setting. Even 24-hour caregiver coverage is not the same as having several people available all at once for emergency situations.

What makes you think that your brother is not visiting, if he says he is? How do you know it is a lie?

With whom are you fighting to "bring her home"? If you have healthcare POA, then where she lives is your decision to make (unless she can still make it herself).

A little more context here might bring more specific suggestions.
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Gfitjr65, no, a nursing home does not need to let you know who had visited unless there was some legally issue. Just curious, how do you know that your brother never visits his Mom? From what you wrote, your Mom is unable to communicate.

Nurses/Aides do not have time to check to see who is visiting a patient or not. They have more important things to do.

As for bringing your Mom home, your Mom is in a skilled nursing home for a reason. She needs a higher level of care then what you can do at home, unless your hire professional caregivers which can be very expensive. Are you able to do all the work required? Spend 72 hours with Mom at the nursing home and what all needs to be done. It could be a real eye opener.
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Is there anything wrong with her care where she is, whether or not he is visiting? If you're not sure have someone else go check on her, either as a courtesy to you or as a hired observor. Don't upset her situaton if it's ok because you're mad at your brother.
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I know that in the two nursing homes my mom is in there is a sign in book in the lobby, but I am there every day and have never once bothered to sign in. It could be that whoever you are speaking to at the NH truly has no way to be certain whether he has been there or not, and your mother can not be counted on to remember correctly.
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Speak with the administrator of the facility.

You could be anyone on the phone.  Speak to the person in charge and ask how you can legitimately find out what is going on.

Your brother doesn't have to visit to be taking care of your mom.  In general, I think it's a bad idea for the person who isn't closest to have POA.  How did that get decided? 
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