Today my mom called to say that my sister was very upset with her. She claims to not know why, and said she cried for about two hours. She said that she only thanks my sister for all her help, is never mean to her. She wonders if it was just a bad dream.
Checking with my sister, the issue was my sister keeping my mom's one remaining car key (she doesn't drive). My mom wants her keys in her possession, but she loses them. Apparently she was very angry with my sister.
This has happened several times before; my mom becomes very angry and creates a scene, then later on feels terrible but says she doesn't remember the incident. She's in the early/moderate stage of dementia. Does she truly not remember, or is she pretending? How do we respond to this?
Bless her heart.
It's not their fault. If someone with cancer said they are feeling horrible from the chemo treatments would you believe them or think they were lying? Same thing.
What helped me was watching Teepa Snow youtube video's. I learned so much from them as well as the other members here.
Edit: My Mom likes to keep her possessions also. I believe the reason for that is because her possessions are all she has left of her old life. She clings to her pocketbook always looking inside (there's nothing of value) but it makes her feel better. She feels like she has "some" control left after losing most of it.
Best to you and your Mom,
Jenna
I know with dementia and alzheimers patients, you have to meet them where they're at and adjust to their world, as sometimes that can look very different from our world.
Perhaps your sister can just give your mom an old key(that's not needed any more)that she can keep up with, and if she loses it, it will not be a big deal.