Follow
Share

Hey you all,


Recently I was traveling and called my father (in an independent living situation with my Aunt. He has ALZ, she is in denial) every night like I usually do. But instead of from my landline, I used my cell phone. His TV id's me when I call from my land line. (you have a phone call from TT). It doesn't when I'm calling from my cell phone.


I would identify myself to my father (Hey Daddy it's TT, I'm calling from the horse show...) but it didn't sound like he knew who I was. (Oh hi TT... How is the horse show going... Have you seen any pretty horses?) But when I got home, and my name flashed on his screen again, he seemed to know who I was.. "Hey TT. Is it still hot where you live? How are your chickens? Still laying?) Why is this happening. Why would he "know" me from the TV id, but not from my identifying myself.


My aunt was taken to hospital with pneumonia and was there for a few days. While she was there, a caregiver was hired to stay with my dad. This threw my dad into a tizzy. He was panicking. (My world has fallen apart. I don't know where I am) When my aunt came back to live with my dad, he quit panicking, but seems to have lost ground memory wise.


My aunt has both physical custody and POA. I can't get her to move him into a memory unit.

Find Care & Housing
Is it possible that he can read better than he can hear? Or that he needs both cues at once? It would explain it. When you talk now, are you getting replies that make it clear he has heard what you said? If his hearing has become poor, he might be picking up on key words only and making comments in response to them. Could you use your cell phone again and ask your aunt how it looks on the TV screen? Perhaps the picture didn't work as well as you thought.

Regarding his care, is he happy where he is? Unless he is unhappy, he may be better off muddling along with your aunt in spite of the issues which are obvious to you. Best wishes.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to MargaretMcKen
Report

If he is well cared for be thankful that his sister is willing to help him.

You saw what happened when she was gone for a few days, can you imagine what would happen if you separated him from her and his home. He would most likely die or completely go off the deep end and need to be medicated to the hilt to keep him calm.

Just curious, why are you pushing for a memory care facility if you are not being asked to be the full time caregiver? Doesn't make any sense with the info you provided.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal
Report
K43d35 Sep 27, 2018
She is 91.
(0)
Report
It sounds like your aunt really does know what is going on with your father. Maybe, she just won't acknowledge it to you. Do you think that she is able to adequately provide for him, supervise, care, etc. for him in their current situation? If so, as long as she has backup if she gets sick, I'd try to accept it. If it's not sufficient, or her health is really poor, then, I'd likely discuss other options. Is she younger than him? Does she need his income to maintain her household? Do you know why she insist on being his caretaker?

Do you attend his doctor's appointments with him? I might describe what you observed about him recognizing your voice and just make the doctor aware.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Sunnygirl1
Report
K43d35 Sep 27, 2018
She says there is nothing wrong with him. He is just "teasing her" when he has his "lapses". (peeing in the corner of the dining hall, loosing his way to the to their shared apartment when returning from the dining hall, believing he is a fire man when he hears sirens etc) His income is being used to rent their apartment in the continuing care facility. I live 1000 miles away. Im am his only child. When he was capable of making decisions, he decided to live with my aunt. I run a horse farm, not the safest of places for a person with ALZ.

No I do not believe my aunt is capable of caring for my father. She needs him to be more capable then he is (She wants him to drive to get his own "stuff". He currently doesn't have a car, having driven off a small cliff with it. I was the passenger at that time. My cousin, the former Navy Seal, rescued us. Car got hung up on a tree..) My aunt leaves him alone when she goes and socializes. I want her to go out with her friends. I don't want my father left alone.

I am curious why he can't recognize my voice or why when I id my self he doesn't know who I am. But if the phone system Id's me he knows who I am. Is this a sign his dementia is getting worse?
(0)
Report