Does generational wealth predict better eldercare?

"He was the VP and sales manager, and he worked six days a week without a vacation for the last 15 years he worked. It was a miserable job"

I understand the the long hours but why if he was a VP was it miserable?

No generational wealth over here, alas.

My fantasy is to win the Mega Millions and pay for the best care money could buy for my parents. How great would that be to be able to do that, they could die home just like they want and us three daughters would not be tethered to this misery.

Money might not buy happiness but it sure can solve problems.

It's more about sensible financial planning than generational wealth.

My mother inherited money from her folks and never once touched it. It went to me and my brother after she died.

My dad came from nothing, but he worked like a dog his whole life before he retired at 58, and he was really, really smart about economics and investing. They had enough money to retire early and live another 30+ years, plus there was plenty for the 2 1/2 years of nursing home care my mom needed.

My husband and I have saved more than enough that we also don't need the inheritance. It wasn't always easy to do, but it certainly helps to be smart about money and make your own future needs as important as those of your kids.

It's not generational wealth, it's just wealth. Someone who inherits their wealth can squander it and be left to fend for themselves, while someone else could be the first person in their family to make something of themselves and build their wealth over time. The point that is true here is that money makes finding eldercare far, far easier than having no money.

What determines "how one's life will go" isn't from how much money you inherit, but what you do with the money you either earn or inherit. If you're a spendthrift/fool, it won't matter how much money you inherit -- you'll blow it and be broke in your old age and won't be able to afford care.

My nere-do-well stepFIL and his wife (my MIL) received 2 inheritances. Guess what? He died broke and a ward of the county. She's in LTC on Medicaid.

My grandparents emigrated here from Italy with nothing. Their 3 sons all became self-made millionaires (and none had a college education). Their daughters also worked hard and prospered.

The burden is on the individual to make the most of what they have.

I never knew that living in AL was the apex of eldercare.

My DHs family has some of this. I’ve watched his elders age and pass. One set of grandparents was able to fund both of them in facilities for several years with no worries. His other grandparents… grandpa lived at home till he passed at 98, with his then 97 year old wife keeping an eye on him and much much support from family checking on them and bringing meals etc daily.

They aren’t poor, but not carefree wealthy either. Grandma only JUST went to assisted living about two months before turning 99. DHs parents should be able to pay for their care, thankfully!!!

My dad was only in a small care home for less than a week on hospice before he passed. We had to use his funds to pay for that stay. He could have paid for about two years before we would have needed a Medicaid nursing home bed.

And now there’s my mother. She’s got maybe one or two months worth of funds for a nursing home, none of it easily accessible. One thing is a bond in a safe dep box. It’s given me a LOt of anxiety wondering if and how we will get her Medicaid worked out when the time comes. I have worked with an elder atty. But her taking cash out and having no receipts worries me. Luckily this is “only” about 100 a month. The rest are bills she pays by phone, groceries etc paid by debit card. Her lack of record keeping and being able to find 5 years worth of bank statements worries me.

This is a long way to say having any sort of wealth, savings etc definitely provided more options and relief for the family from what I’ve observed.

7/29/23 - 3:00P
From: ElizabethAR37

Yes, I think it does--in all life areas, not just eldercare. If things had gone according to plan, whatever that is, I might have had sufficient inheritance to assure high quality eldercare in a pricey CCRC. However, my family of origin disapproved of my marriage over 40 years ago and--guess what--my punishment was being disowned. (Marrying my spouse was the best decision I ever made, BTW. NO regrets.)

So, I received a modest sum from a small trust, but that was it. However, those funds served as the basis for creating our old-age fund. It would have been more difficult without it. We both worked into our mid-to-late 70s--but our careers were in the nonprofit sector at less-than-munificent salaries. We contributed to 401(k) equivalents, saved and invested as best we could. Despite a relatively late start, we purchased LTC insurance and saved "enough"--as long as we don't live too much longer. It's hard to plan for unanticipated, unintended longevity and the rising costs of care.

Generational wealth predicts better outcomes in every aspect of life: kids with means have access to better day care, better schools, better opportunities to travel and join sports and teams. It means easier access to higher learning and a network that provides opportunities for employment. And of course money begets money so by the time retirement comes around unless you have screwed up in a major way you will have the money and connections to access the best options available.
Of course there are exceptions, but we are talking generalities.

Lisa, have you ever looked at www.bogleheads.org?

"So is this post about the parents ( as your post reads) or about the kids?"

Yes, it's about the parents. It's that I observed that the grandparents wealth actually led to a comfortable retirement for their parents.

We did not plan on SS being available for us when we retired, so we planned and saved like crazy to make sure we'd have enough money to not have to worry.

Well, SS is still around and likely will be as long as we live. That is our 'base income'. We have and annuity that pays out monthly, which just augments the income. We also have a 401(K) that we opted to keep as a savings--to cover big unforeseen expenses. (DH just bought a brand new car with cash--he said it felt amazing!)

I always pinched pennies, was frugal and kept cars running for 20+ years. My parents were forced into early retirement by dad's bad health and they DID have to live entirely on SS. If they hadn't added an apartment on to YB's home and were able to live there for next to nothing, IDK what would have happened. Mom was there for 25 years before she died. On $2200 a month, she couldn't have afforded anything decent.

Most of my mom's friends were living with their kids, or sadly, in some not so nice NH's. Mom was always aware and always grateful for the care she received at pretty much no cost to her.

Our 5 kids are following our example.

At this stage of life, to not have to scrounge and worry about money, it's really a blessing.

In the end, everyone has to do what is best/right for them. Some families do the 'generational' living and it's lovely and works for them.

I KNOW if I moved in with any of my kids, it would not go well.

Pamzi here,,
In my family this was not true. Both of my parents were the first to go to college, the first to have professional jobs, and they worked their butts off to live a good life, give me and DD a good life, and take care of themselves in thier old age. I think it depends on the person;s goals. Both of my parents helped out financially with their parents. The same is true for my hubs.. first to go to college in his family.
However, I now have generational wealth thanks to my parents. Not millions but enough to be comfortable so that our DD will hopefully not have to worry about our long term issues. And I have been savvy about our money. DD is also a smart gal, and planning for her long term financials. My parents hammered this in to both myself and DD from an early age. So perhaps it is more about what people plan for than what they inherited?

Generational wealth gives a step up, but I know many blue collar workers who saved all their lives in order to provide for themselves in old age. Also white collar workers who did the same.

I also know many who didn’t. They and their children are suffering because of that.

I’ve seen family members who refused to settle down throughout their twenties. Their parents paid for college but they wouldn’t work for a corporation. In fact two of them didn’t get real jobs until age 28 and 30. They lost out on social security credits, contributing to 401k plans, and spent what money they did earn in bars. They are counting on parents to leave them a bundle.

Access to more funding means more options, less stress for family, and generally an easier transition.

If your grandparents made it so their kids did not have to give up much or stress over their own care then they could lead fruitful lives and pass it down so to speak. Imo

I think your sample size is very small.

The folks who are not in LTC facilities, where/how are they being cared for?

More funds available certainly offers more flexibility in procuring care. My parents both grew up very poor but a lifetime of frugality gave them good options at the end.

They also told us from early childhood not to expect any inheritance, so they were free to devote all they had saved to EOL care.

Some folks seem determined to "leave a legacy" and by the same token, some adult children think that it's wise to give up careers to care for parents at home.

Having seen that scenario play out in my childhood (there were no options), we were determined not to go down that path.