Does anyone understand what my sibling (POA) is asking? He keeps asking for the HCPs to create a plan for my mother with I think a budget, etc.

You are correct. Its up to him to find out what Moms finances are. Not the entire family him. Does he feel that when needed you all are to contribute to Moms care. Neither the POA or any family of the principle need to foot the bill for a LOs care. Is that what he wants, to say how much you can afford to Moms care? Thats not how it works.

POA needs to figure out how long her money will last her. If she can't live on what she brings in then the POA has to figure out what needs to be done. Better for the house to be sold, Mom goes to a nice apt and the profit from the house helps her pay the rent. Or if she is 24/7 care, time to sell the home and place her in a nice AL with the proceeds. Or if 24/7 care and money running out place her in LTC. A POA spends the principles money, when its gone the POA then finds options. The POA does not expect family to pay towards a parents bills. Nor ask them to make LT financial plans.

You as a MPOD have nothing to do with Moms finances. A POA is not even suppose to reveal what Mom has or doesn't have. But if one of my brothers asked me to contribute to my Moms finances, I would want proof my money was needed. Believe me if my Mom owned a home that was too much for her to keep up, my money would not go toward her being able to stay in the house. She would need to downsize to what she could afford.

He is also asking for short- and long-term plans that includes a financial plan. All of my siblings have provided options, but he keeps rejecting them. In the past I created a chart in relation to finances which he is not happy with.

Has anyone else had this request from the POA and how did they work with it? I told him any future plans is an entire family decision and does not fall on one person such as the primary health care proxy. This is what a senior care attorney told me. Unfortunately, he refused to communicate at all with one of my siblings making things harder.

I am thinking this is something that hopefully the social worker can help us sort through.

I think any financial plans falls under the POA duties. Attempts to help him out with this in the past results in criticism, etc. Ugghhhh.

This weary war between you siblings is a tragedy for your parent.

It is a personal pet peeve of mine that siblings go to war over power over a parent when that parent is old, weak and ill. Just when they should be offering kind loving support they instead attempt to split that parent in two like two toddlers, one on each arm.
It is as juvenile-- in my own humble opinion-- as it is TRAGIC.

You have an attorney.
Yet you write us the missives over and over again.
How do you imagine we can intervene here?

If you are looking for support here I am sad to say I am all out with this personal situation about which you have written us perhaps more than a dozen time, and about which you have already had legal counsel that has (apparently) got you nowhere.

I very much wish you would keep the details of your bickers with your sibling, who is GENERAL POA (as I said, usually trumps ALL) between yourself and those in your family.

I am very sorry if this sounds brutal, but I have over and over tried to be kind and I am quite frustrated.
You have an attorney.
Work with that attorney.
I wish your poor dear mother all the luck, all the best in this world. And I hope she is somewhat protected from this by her general POA son.

He wants to know what she wants and doesn't want? Thats what a proxy is, her wishes. She wants a DNR, she wants no feeding tube, no extreme measures, ect. My Moms was a list that could easily be copied. Really, I think its wise that the POA know these things. Especially if the proxy says anything about her funeral.