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I was with my brother literally seconds before he died in an end of life hospice. Whenever I went to visit I couldn’t help but thinking about if ‘spirits’ were present from those who died there. Same in NH, ALF, hospitals and funeral homes. Even think about if my mom dies in my home. I hope I won’t get creeped out if she does die at home.


I can’t imagine how awful it must be to be a soldier and seeing death of fellow soldiers. Being in a plane crash. car wreck, etc and seeing death.


My daughter’s friend recently lost her boyfriend in a horrible car crash. The poor girl watched him bleed out. EMS could not get there in time. He was dead when they arrived. She lost it. So sad.


I’ve never been with someone at the moment of death. Kind of scares me. On my mind a lot with mom. I don’t dwell on it but it stays in the back of my mind. Thoughts?


How does the medical profession get used to this? Nurses and doctors? Or clergy?

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Hi Need, I myself don’t think of ghosts in general at such places, but after my mom died in our home 20 years ago, I was uncomfortable thinking about seeing her spirit in the room where she died. Which is weird, I love my mom so much why would I not want to see her even in spirit but that’s just how I felt. Then one day the light was on in that unoccupied room. My husband denied turning on the light. No explanation, didn’t happen again but I liked to think mom was just saying hello.
i pretty much expect to be the one present when my motherinlaw passes. She thinks a lot about her impending death and even this evening said, “wouldn’t it be nice to just not wake up.” (Sorry, she says things like that). I know it can be hard for the body to let go of the spirit, the belabored breathing can be hard to watch, but- and I’m not trying to gloss over this- there’s something holy about being present when a LO crosses over. I was there when my mom died and later my dad and each time there was an energy in the room, a sort of spiritual energy that I like to think was the comforting spirit of God. Your role at that time, offering love and affirmation, holding a hand, maybe some comfort measures, is your last loving act as a caregiver.
After my mom died in my presence, in my grief I was worried I would always remember how sick she was at the end, her struggles and misery. But now that years have passed, I can verify that those troublesome images were not the ones that prevailed over time, instead, it is her laugh, her smiling eyes and the funny things she said that come in thoughts of her and make me smile.
this is so long- I didn’t intend it to be! But you asked a question that got me thinking.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 31, 2019
MaryBee,

Thanks for your insightful post. These things cross our minds, don’t they?

My mom has made remarks too. She will say that she is surprised she is still living and that she never thought she would make it to 93. She has Parkinson’s but other than that, no heart issues like daddy, no diabetes, all her labs come back fine, etc.

Sometimes I think she may go on to 100 and I will be dead! Hahaha
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I believe the transition from this earthly life into the next life is simply like walking through a door.

The PAIN of dying--can be horrible, and override the peace that a long awaited passing can bring.

Do I think spirits are amongst us? I most assuredly do. I know in times of deep anguish, I have never been alone. I remember once, being so supremely depressed I decided to end my life. I was 'visited' by 4 or 5 of my ancestors, who held my hands, prayed for me and basically told me I was not going to do this awful thing to my family. I was so surrounded by unconditional love--I did get help and things did get better.

I feel my daddy's presence a lot. We were very close and sometimes, I pray for him to hold my hand during tough times. Is he there every second of everyday? No, because I think he has 'stuff' to do--but I know he is always there for me.

I have cancer and am undergoing chemotherapy. I fully expect to recover, but I know my life is probably not going to go well into my 90's now. Having this belief in a life hereafter makes the chemo doable. And it makes me appreciate each 'good day'.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 31, 2019
MidKid,

I truly appreciate what you are saying. I feel as if my daddy is looking out for me too. He was a special man. I was very close to my dad too.

You have an amazing testimony and a more amazing spirit. I think you will beat this too. Best wishes to you. It’s tough.
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Hi. I work in healthcare as a social worker in the ICU, ER, and now in a LTC nursing home for ventilator patients. Many, many....many deaths I've encountered. It gets easier. It made it easier when my mom died of a stroke. I've not seen one ghost yet! If I could give people a gift, it would be the gift of acceptance. Acceptance of an inevitable death, especially in the elderly. I'm always taken aback a little when a 98 year old who has been chronically ill and on life support and in a coma and suffering finally passes away and the family seems surprised! And they can't be in the room, and they scream and cry out in the lobby. It always seems to me that they are making it all about them, and not about being there for the patient as they transition. I've had families not be able to be at the bedside but not want their loved one to die alone, so they ask me to sit at the bedside while their family member passes away. It makes me sad that this person had to hold the hand of a stranger as they died. It will be ok when the time comes for your mom. If you make it about them and make sure they feel loved, comfortable and supported, and not about you, then you will be ok, and she will be ok, too.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 31, 2019
Very inspiring response. Everything you said makes perfect sense to me. Thanks.
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It may seem strange but when I was in Junior High, we did work experience. I did mine at a local vet clinic. I chose to watch several animals be euthanized. I needed to see that death was not scary.

I have been present when my own cats and dog were euthanized, again their was no fear or pain, just a gentle passing from them being with us to no longer being there.

So last November when I was with Mum when step dad passed, I was unafraid. His death was peaceful and once he was gone, he truly was gone. He had strong faith and knew where he was going.

I have been in homes where there has been a violent death and nothing remains of the event.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 31, 2019
Tothill,

Great experiences for you. I too was there for my animals dying. Same with people, eh... I am not so sure. I hope so.

Thanks for sharing your experiences.
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JoAnn,

You answer gave me chills! I so want to believe that everyone has someone near at the time of death.

Thanks so much for sharing this. It is a beautiful story. What a comforting experience that must have been for you. Or were you scared to see a ‘woman’ there? How old were you when that happened?

I have never ever seen a ghost or heard a spirit. I wonder if I would think that I was going crazy. I do believe others from another realm can contact us if there is a purpose such as in your family. That’s really beautiful, isn’t it?
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JoAnn29 Jul 31, 2019
I was about six at the time and I was not frightened. I would chalk it up to a dream but I can still see it vividly in my minds eye.
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Me, I don't consider myself religious but a woman of faith. My Mom was 89 when she passed. The last 6 yrs of her life she suffered from Dementia. Hard to watch her decline and become frail. It was a relief really. But she had faith and knew where she was going to I was at peace. We left her side at 1:30 and she was pronounced 20 min later. I know she was not alone. As a child I saw a woman in my room cover my younger sister and kiss her. Telling me with a gesture not to talk. I asked my Mom if she was in my room, she said no. Some years later I saw a picture of my grandmother. It was the woman I saw. She died at the age of 42 from cancer, my sister passed at the age of 43 from cancer.

I believe that a loved one comes for you.
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Thanks, Geaton for this insightful response. Just fear of the unknown for me. Know what I mean? I do not intend to ‘conjure up’ mom’s spirit after she passes. Never really thought about doing that with anyone. I do have faith in God. I admit I have dry spells at times when I feel discouraged. I appreciate your answer.
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Geaton777 Jul 31, 2019
I didn't mean to imply that you are searching them out. I think they can act on their own but I would never trust them, even if they took the form of a LO. Who am I to argue with God when He says don't talk to them? In scripture no exceptions to this are made.
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No one gets out of here alive and my personal belief is that it is everyone's adult responsibility to come to grips with the fact that life is beautiful but also fraught with tragedy and we all eventually "leave". My belief in God and my Savior, Jesus Christ, is what gives me eternal perspective on my daily life. Do ghosts exist? If you read the Bible they do, in fact there's a whole spiritual realm around us, angels battling demons, etc., an unseen world. When scripture says we are made in God's image it means His spiritual image. Scripture also says to not engage mediums or spirits, as you don't know who you are really meeting up with (Satan is the father of all lies), Yet God has authority over them so I'm not afraid. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31) I would have sent this by private message but couldn't figure out how to do that...Blessings.
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