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My family and I were at the beach sitting on a bench just enjoying the ocean and the beautiful day relaxing. A mentally challenge woman was next to my mother and she started punching her on her arm with quick motions.


My mother was disgusted and she did say "there should be a place for someone like that". Well my brother put his head down and just started saying "what a nut, what a nut. My niece and I just could not stop laughing, the more we laughed the more agitated my mother and brother got. I thought I would pee my pants it was so darn funny. My mother is very prim and proper but that day look out! I wheeled her back to hotel laughing and laughing. I am glad she was not bruised or hurt in any way, though.

At the age of 92, my Dad was really not there any more. He had to wear depends and get help changing them a couple times a day. I think he could hear, but the responses were almost always nasty and obviously confused.

so..he got a summons to the State Grand Jury. I tried to explain on the phone, but was told he would have to serve!!

ok. So about a month before the date he was to report, I sent a letter to the clerk of the jury.... I explained that they would need someone to change his diaper a few times a day...and maybe poke him to keep him awake. Since he cannot walk, what time would the court have someone with a wheelchair to meet us at the courthouse door, and then wheel him around as he might need?

Got it a letter within a few days...excused from jury duty.

was it the dirty diapers or him sleeping in the jury box that convinced them?
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earlybird Jul 8, 2019
Of my goodness, I needed a good laugh today. Love this post!
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It's been a while since this happened but it still makes me laugh.

I was in line at the grocery store and the cashier was a young man with gauges (the rings in their ears that stretch out their earlobes). A very sweet looking, elderly woman joined the line behind me.

When she saw the young man's ears, she commented, "Good grief. The holes in your earlobes are bigger than my vagina."

I couldn't help but laugh long and hard. That poor man probably couldn't look at his ears again without thinking of that woman!
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My 86 year old mom with stage 5-6 dementia lives with me. She not only gets confused all the time about where she is, she also thinks I have more than one home. Once I tried to tell her that I'm single and I can only afford one mortgage and I can barely afford it at that. She replied, "You know, if you sold that other house, you could probably just pay this house off. Did you ever think of that?" I gave up at that point and said, "OK, can you point this house out to me and as soon as I find out where this house is I'm gonna sell it." She looked at me for a few moments and then said in her wisest voice, "I think you need to keep better track of your houses. That's your main problem right there." Thanks Mom, you're right. I need to keep better track of my houses. Story of my life. :)
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My MIL was in hospice in her home (stage 4 colorectal/breast cancer, rapid aggressive progression). My husband and I decided to take our 15 year old autistic/ID son to see her on his birthday, as we knew there wasn't much time left and he was close with her. While visiting, she asked for a refresher on her water, so we sent son to get it for her.

a side note..my hubby is really picky about water, as in he doesn't drink tap water and didn't want my MIL to be drinking tap water.

My son, never understanding this thing about different waters, brought her back the glass. Hubby speaks up "did that come from the bottle in the fridge or the faucet?" Son goes "Faucet". Hubby gets all annoyed, takes the glass to put the 'proper' water in it.

MIL speaks up (like always) "It's fine Dan! Little tap water isn't going to kill me!" Then she looked up at me, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.."guess it doesn't matter now does it?" And continued to laugh for a few minutes. Even got my son to laugh pretty hard, which doesn't happen often. She didn't let her present depressing circumstances dim her sense of humor! She passed exactly a week later. But that was the last big laugh I had with her!
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earlybird Jul 8, 2019
That is great your MIL had a since of humor until the end. Your Hubby and son sound like quite the characters. This is one great memory for all of you.
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My mom was recently diagnosed with a heart murmur which required an echo in order to determine whether or not it was benign, which it was. My mother is extremely hard of hearing, and when the Indian doctor gave her the diagnosis, he said in his very heavy accent, " you have a haut mooma" my mother then replied, "I am a hot mama ???" "You don't get out much"
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earlybird Jul 8, 2019
My niece and all are rolling over laughing. Your mother is so funny.
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Mom, who has dementia, and has had 3 husbands, last of which was Bill who died in 2016, comes out with an old men's suit from her closet. She asks me if I think my husband would want it (Ha! It's from the 70's and way too small!) I said I don't think so, but thanks, Mom, where did you get that suit? She says "it was Bill's" I said, I don't think so, Mom, she says "I know it is, I buried him in it!"

Umm....how'd you get that suit back? Even she had to laugh!!!
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ArtistDaughter Jul 9, 2019
Thank you for that laugh.
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My mother's new endocrinologist said upon meeting her that she was very young looking for her age. He then said , "I would like to see how your mother looks" My mother replied, " you got a shovel?" doctor looked shocked, I wanted to die.
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earlybird Jul 8, 2019
I think your post is hysterical.
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I’ve shared this before but it’s good.

my mom died last year but on her first day in assisted living after a bad fall and hospital stay I transferred her directly into AL. I took dad over that evening to have dinner with her in the fancy dining room. Mom was very wide eyed checking out all the residents. As I was shoving her in her wheelchair back to her room after dinner she said THERES NOBODY BUT OLD PEOPLE IN HERE! I told her that seemed like the kettle calling the pot black. She thought for a bit...YA KNOW, THAT OCCURRED TO ME JUST AS THAT WAS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH.

A couple years before after a hip replacement we were moving mom into this grim rehab center. We get to her room, there’s a roommate, a poor old lady moaning constantly HEP ME! HEP ME! (Hillbilly for HELP ME)

finally a nurse comes into to get mom checked in and was going through all the basic alertness questions, what’s your name, do you know where you are etc. Mom got them all right very promptly then asked me WHY IS SHE ASKING ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS? I jokingly told her it was a test. If she missed any there’d kick her out. Next question....Mrs ...Do you know who the president is? Mom...YEAH. FDR
Alas, she had to stay.
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Miranova Jul 10, 2019
LOL! My dad complains all the time that his AL is just full of old people. He's 72. It's even more funny because while he was living with me, he complained that my house was full of children and nobody for him to talk to that were from his generation. Hahahaha
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My Mom had Dementia. I had her in her bathroom. When she looked into the mirror she said OMG! Guess she couldn't believe that old woman was her.
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BlackHole Jul 7, 2019
Awwww. I have that problem, too! And I’m only in my 50s. (Truth be told, I look in the mirror and see my mother. It’s unsettling.)
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My Dad was in the hospital and he was a fall risk. So when Dad was placed in the hospital recliner, the nurses had first placed an alarm that would sound if Dad tried to get up.

Well, Dad would raise up on recliner enough to get the alarm to sound, then announce "darn beans".
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earlybird Jul 7, 2019
I am sure lots of staff members came to check on your dad after he set the alarm off.. I guess he was having fun with the alarm and the staff.
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