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My family and I were at the beach sitting on a bench just enjoying the ocean and the beautiful day relaxing. A mentally challenge woman was next to my mother and she started punching her on her arm with quick motions.


My mother was disgusted and she did say "there should be a place for someone like that". Well my brother put his head down and just started saying "what a nut, what a nut. My niece and I just could not stop laughing, the more we laughed the more agitated my mother and brother got. I thought I would pee my pants it was so darn funny. My mother is very prim and proper but that day look out! I wheeled her back to hotel laughing and laughing. I am glad she was not bruised or hurt in any way, though.

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At the age of 92, my Dad was really not there any more. He had to wear depends and get help changing them a couple times a day. I think he could hear, but the responses were almost always nasty and obviously confused.

so..he got a summons to the State Grand Jury. I tried to explain on the phone, but was told he would have to serve!!

ok. So about a month before the date he was to report, I sent a letter to the clerk of the jury.... I explained that they would need someone to change his diaper a few times a day...and maybe poke him to keep him awake. Since he cannot walk, what time would the court have someone with a wheelchair to meet us at the courthouse door, and then wheel him around as he might need?

Got it a letter within a few days...excused from jury duty.

was it the dirty diapers or him sleeping in the jury box that convinced them?
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earlybird Jul 2019
Of my goodness, I needed a good laugh today. Love this post!
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It's been a while since this happened but it still makes me laugh.

I was in line at the grocery store and the cashier was a young man with gauges (the rings in their ears that stretch out their earlobes). A very sweet looking, elderly woman joined the line behind me.

When she saw the young man's ears, she commented, "Good grief. The holes in your earlobes are bigger than my vagina."

I couldn't help but laugh long and hard. That poor man probably couldn't look at his ears again without thinking of that woman!
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My 86 year old mom with stage 5-6 dementia lives with me. She not only gets confused all the time about where she is, she also thinks I have more than one home. Once I tried to tell her that I'm single and I can only afford one mortgage and I can barely afford it at that. She replied, "You know, if you sold that other house, you could probably just pay this house off. Did you ever think of that?" I gave up at that point and said, "OK, can you point this house out to me and as soon as I find out where this house is I'm gonna sell it." She looked at me for a few moments and then said in her wisest voice, "I think you need to keep better track of your houses. That's your main problem right there." Thanks Mom, you're right. I need to keep better track of my houses. Story of my life. :)
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Mom, who has dementia, and has had 3 husbands, last of which was Bill who died in 2016, comes out with an old men's suit from her closet. She asks me if I think my husband would want it (Ha! It's from the 70's and way too small!) I said I don't think so, but thanks, Mom, where did you get that suit? She says "it was Bill's" I said, I don't think so, Mom, she says "I know it is, I buried him in it!"

Umm....how'd you get that suit back? Even she had to laugh!!!
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Thank you for that laugh.
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My Dad was in the hospital and he was a fall risk. So when Dad was placed in the hospital recliner, the nurses had first placed an alarm that would sound if Dad tried to get up.

Well, Dad would raise up on recliner enough to get the alarm to sound, then announce "darn beans".
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earlybird Jul 2019
I am sure lots of staff members came to check on your dad after he set the alarm off.. I guess he was having fun with the alarm and the staff.
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My MIL was in hospice in her home (stage 4 colorectal/breast cancer, rapid aggressive progression). My husband and I decided to take our 15 year old autistic/ID son to see her on his birthday, as we knew there wasn't much time left and he was close with her. While visiting, she asked for a refresher on her water, so we sent son to get it for her.

a side note..my hubby is really picky about water, as in he doesn't drink tap water and didn't want my MIL to be drinking tap water.

My son, never understanding this thing about different waters, brought her back the glass. Hubby speaks up "did that come from the bottle in the fridge or the faucet?" Son goes "Faucet". Hubby gets all annoyed, takes the glass to put the 'proper' water in it.

MIL speaks up (like always) "It's fine Dan! Little tap water isn't going to kill me!" Then she looked up at me, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.."guess it doesn't matter now does it?" And continued to laugh for a few minutes. Even got my son to laugh pretty hard, which doesn't happen often. She didn't let her present depressing circumstances dim her sense of humor! She passed exactly a week later. But that was the last big laugh I had with her!
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earlybird Jul 2019
That is great your MIL had a since of humor until the end. Your Hubby and son sound like quite the characters. This is one great memory for all of you.
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I have another crazy story. It was around Christmas time and my niece was in the holiday musical. My family and I all attended the school production. It was so relaxing to just sit and enjoy the music. When I first arrived at the school I asked for handicapped seating because my mother was in a w/c. They told me she would be ok in the front. I confirmed that it would safe for my mother. Well half way through the show a 6 feet animated reindeer with huge hooves jumped in front of my mother and slipped under her wheelchair. He could not get his hooves out from under the w/c. The show stopped for approximately 20 minutes and all eyes were on us. I could not control my laughter nor could the rest of the family. The more he tried to get out the more we laughed. A lady in back of me asked if mother was ok and I said yes . She seemed irritated that we were laughing. I think she was worried about my mother. The boy cried after the show and he came up to my mother to see if she was ok On the way home we sang "Mama got run over by a reindeer". That night her back hurt because of the boy slipped under my mother's w/c so I took her to the ER for an x-ray. The doctors and nurses laughed the whole time, at this point I felt bad for laughing. They did not know what to write in the notes. I told them to write exactly what happened. She was run over by an animated reindeer. She did not have an injury just some aches and pains for a few day. I called the superintendents office and complained and told them they should have a handicapped section. The next day they went full force and made a handicapped section. I was happy they did something right away. The superintendent send flowers to the wrong address my nieces mother but the thought was there.{ she did not know what to do with them Hello! I went out and bought my mother some pretty flowers after that. We still talk about that day around the holidays.
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I’ve shared this before but it’s good.

my mom died last year but on her first day in assisted living after a bad fall and hospital stay I transferred her directly into AL. I took dad over that evening to have dinner with her in the fancy dining room. Mom was very wide eyed checking out all the residents. As I was shoving her in her wheelchair back to her room after dinner she said THERES NOBODY BUT OLD PEOPLE IN HERE! I told her that seemed like the kettle calling the pot black. She thought for a bit...YA KNOW, THAT OCCURRED TO ME JUST AS THAT WAS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH.

A couple years before after a hip replacement we were moving mom into this grim rehab center. We get to her room, there’s a roommate, a poor old lady moaning constantly HEP ME! HEP ME! (Hillbilly for HELP ME)

finally a nurse comes into to get mom checked in and was going through all the basic alertness questions, what’s your name, do you know where you are etc. Mom got them all right very promptly then asked me WHY IS SHE ASKING ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS? I jokingly told her it was a test. If she missed any there’d kick her out. Next question....Mrs ...Do you know who the president is? Mom...YEAH. FDR
Alas, she had to stay.
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Miranova Jul 2019
LOL! My dad complains all the time that his AL is just full of old people. He's 72. It's even more funny because while he was living with me, he complained that my house was full of children and nobody for him to talk to that were from his generation. Hahahaha
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This was a few years ago. My Dad had to stop driving due to age related issues. My Mom had quit driving many years prior. My folks were in their 90's. One day Dad called me on the phone and said he had a great idea. This is how the conversation went:

Dad: I have a great idea where you don't need to drive us anymore.

Me thinking maybe they will call a taxi so I asked: What do you plan to do?

Dad: I will have your Mom drive.

Me: But Dad, Mom is legally blind [she had macular degeneration]

Dad: No problem, I will just tell her when to stop, when to go, when to turn.

Me: But Dad, Mom can't hear anymore.

[there was silence on the other end of the phone]

Dad: Oh
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pamzimmrrt Jul 2019
I swear this what my parents did too! Mom would complain about dads driving when he had ALZ.. yep, that worked!!
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My dad has told us for years that when he was a child his family was so poor that all he got for Christmas was a pair of overalls with a hole cut in the pocket, because that way he got something to wear and something to play with 🤭🤣😜
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That's something my dad might have said, which would have gotten him a kick from my mom. Still, she would be smiling underneath her pretend anger.
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