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My husband is 95 yrs old with moderate dementia, when he goes to the bathroom he has hard time aiming into the toilet and pee ends up on the floor. I put a comodo on top of the regular toilet seat, to increase the hight and for safety. I have the railing as well. The comodo has a bar below the seat it prevents him to get closer to the toilet. Thanks!

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Martha, you don't have to qualify for Medicaid, your husband does. Your assets can be split. His going for his care and when spent down, you apply for Medicaid for him. Once on Medicaid, you remain in the home, have a car and enough of your monthly income to live on. There was a women who posted that Medicaid wanted her to cash in her 401k for care of her husband. A member says there is paperwork you fill out saying you will not support your spouse. There is a name for it. I think the member is active so she will reply and tell me what the words are.

To do what I suggests needs an elder lawyer well versed in Medicaid law.
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If you are talking about a commode, did you take off the bar in the back? By doing that, it allows the commode to go further back on the toilet. A brand new commode should have come with a splash guard. If not, you can cut out the bottom of the bucket. The edge should be passed the rim of the toilet bowl. Since the commode has a seat and top, you can remove the toilet ones.

I would not use a rug. I had this problem with my Dad and was always washing rugs. And the smell does not always come out.
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Martha007 Jan 2023
Thank you, that may work.
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Convince him to sit would probably be the easiest way.
If he is standing too far from the toilet he is going to have more "misses than hits" if he is standing.
You could try placing 2 "X's" on the floor where he should place his feet. I did this in Sharpie Marker in RED on my bathroom floor so my Husband would know where to place his feet. It worked very well. It took a long time for the X to fade and when it did I just remarked them. (To this day I can still see a very faint X if I search for it.) You can use marker, Duct Tape, colored Electric Tape if you do not want to use a marker.
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Ask if the commode supplier has a 'splash guard' for your commode. It may give a slight improvement, covering the gap between commode & toilet.

Otherwise, no rug & frequent mops.
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I’m reading about urinals and I just remembered a funny story!

I was in my late 20’s. We were in the airport. I was exhausted from jet lag. Anyway, I was rushing to get to the bathroom and I accidentally went into the men’s bathroom. It was the first time I had ever seen a urinal and freaked out because I realized that I was in the men’s room!

I know that I turned beet red! Men started turning around and were staring at me. I embarrassingly said, “I am so sorry that I walked in on you.” They calmly said, “Oh, honey, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it!”

Now, if women saw a man in a woman’s bathroom we would start screaming and freak out! Men don’t care! LOL 😂
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Bridget66 Jan 2023
My husband and I were traveling on I-81 in PA early in the morning. I had him pull off at a rest area. I rushed in and went in stall, finished and washed my hands. When I left the restroom my husband was standing their laughing. He pointed at the sign and it was the men's room I had been in. He couldn't believe I didn't see the whole row of urinals.
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My DH is 6'4" tall. From day one of our marriage I INSISTED he sit down to pee. He was not happy about that, seems it's a ton more work? IDK. But after he splashed the whole bathroom a couple times and I had HIM clean it up, he got it. He sits.

He'll sometimes just stand if it's during the night, but he will always forget to put down the lid and I fall into the toilet. Not funny.

One son and I made sure he sat. He has 3 boys and they actually bought a home with a urinal in the basement bath. It stinks so bad in there.
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I taught my boys that a toilet is not a urinal. You sit on a toilet -- period -- and sorry, but you aim down. It's not a firehose that gets to spray everywhere.

Teach your husband to do the same.
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TopsailJanet Jan 2023
I wish my mother did the same. I had to share a bathroom with 5 brothers (4 younger). Phew!
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When my late husband was still mobile, I had his bedside commode over the toilet in our master bath, and when he could no longer get the pee in the toilet without it getting all over the floor, I had to INSIST that he no longer stand but sit to pee.
He fought me at first, but like 97yroldmom said, I would follow him in there to make sure he was sitting and would tuck his penis in as there's not much room with a bedside commode. Eventually he knew to just sit to pee and tuck it in himself, and I no longer had to clean up pee after he went to the bathroom. It made my life much easier for sure.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2023
This is a great idea! No more bad aiming.
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Never use rugs! These are a frequent cause of falls..
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You might go with your husband and encourage him to sit on the toilet. This is safer for him and will keep the bathroom cleaner.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2023
So smart!
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In my experience a mat or rug will smell. My dad didn't have cognitive issues but had 'bad aim'. Had to toss the rug vs washing it so often.
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I would stick with the towel. They are easy to wash. Does he slip on the towel?

Your profile says that he has Alzheimer’s disease, is falling down and that you are watching him day and night. This doesn’t leave any time for you to rest.

Obviously, you care deeply for your husband. How long have you been married? How old are you?

How much longer do you think you can keep this up? Have you considered placing him in a facility?
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Martha007 Jan 2023
Thank you for your advice. He has OCD as well he spends hours to flatten the towel that is on the floor and making sure the towel is without any wrinkles. Very stubborn man. Yes, I will keep the towel. I thought about putting him in a mc . But it's too expensive and I don't qualify for Medicaid. I will be 73 next month we have been married 37 yrs. I learn so much from everyone on this page. Thank you!!
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