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Mom's doctor gave my mom a SLUM test to determine her level of dementia! She only asked 2 questions and then wrote down that mom scored 5 and didn't ask any other questions! There's 20 questions on a SLUM test! Her doctor has done other shady stuff! My question is--- has anyone here called the Omsbudman of their state and if so, what was your experience with them?
Also, I was told by APS that even if I give advance notice, if I leave I will be charged with elder abandonment! My mom is violent and punches me and hits me with her cane! I'm disabled! Geez.... What about my rights? Also, once mom gets Medicaid and is placed in a facility, I have been told I HAVE to clean up the house and sell it myself! My mom's a hoarder and there's HEAVY furniture here! My partner can't help me because his back is REALLY messed up! His doctor said his back is in terrible shape! What do I do? I am in Oregon! Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you for any help you can give me!

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It might be your responsibility to see she is placed safely outside the home in assisted living or a board and care. Those incidents should be reported to her doctor and hopefully have her observed in a psych ward and from there say it unsafe for her to return home. That's the path to assisted living I have seen with a few family members. There are realtors that will contract out the clean-out if the home is to be sold.
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Reply to Pasa18
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So police won't help and either will APS? Are you on SSD? You have documentation stating your disabilities? Was the first investigation in Moms name as the person needing help? I wonder if you called saying you were the one being abused by a woman and a system that won't recognize she needs help.

Office of Aging is the only other place I can think of. Your Mom needs help. She needs to see a neurologist.

Just a thought, get something from her doctor on his letterhead saying that he finds no dementia and Mom is capable of living on her own. Present this to APS. If they disagree with the findings then tell them to test Mom. Because, you are being abused. That you will wait a certain amount of time for them to get Mom tested. If no results by then, you will consider Mom being able to care for herself, per her doctor, and you will be moving out. Then its their problem. They can then take over her care and do whatever they need to pay for it.

I may at least consult with a lawyer to see if what I posted is feasible. I have never heard of a child being made to care for a parent. You aren't abandoning a child. You are leaving a woman who a doctor says can care for herself. I wonder if your county disabilities dept can help in regards to you? Can you move out and just oversee her? Maybe move, leave no forwarding address no phone number. Then when u get to your new home, contact APS from a pay phone and report Mom.

Take my post as just ramblings. Just something you can check out to see how it works or think on. Like I said contact a lawyer concerning your rights. If you can't afford one, check with legal aid. Office of aging should have a number.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I may have not explained this right-- my mom is a hoarder and she smoked for years, so there's not really anything folks would want out of here!
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Reply to purplebadger
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JoAnn29 20 hours ago
Then u throw it all out. Medicaid is only interested in items, like antiques, that could bring in a large sum of money. I got rid of all my Moms stuff. It was just everyday used stuff that weren't worth anything. She was not a collector.
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Don't think Ombudsmen over see doctors. They oversee Nursing facilities. Mom needs a neurologist for a good testing.

When Mom hits you call the police. Tell them she is a danger to you as a handicapped person. Maybe then she will be taken to a Psychic facility and tested there.

As a disabled child you should be able to remain in the house as long as you can pay the taxes, bills and upkeep. If not, to clean out you will have to hire help. Great job for teens who want some spending money. Maybe have an inside yardsale and sell what you can. That money is Moms if her stuff. What doesn't sell, call Habitat and they will pick up want you don't want to resell. Other stuff can be donated to thrift shops. Junk can be thrown out.
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purplebadger May 4, 2021
Hi JoAnn,
Thank you for your help! The one time I called the police, I was shamed and openly judged with facial expressions and eye rolling from the police woman, who recently went through this with her mother! As my mom struck me with the cane, she lost her balance and fell! She wasn't hurt and was on the floor for approx. fifteen minutes until the police showed up! I was told I could be arrested for leaving her on the floor! Seriously!! I can't pick her up and due to serious back problems, neither can my partner! Plus, she landed in a place where if I did try to pick her up and dropped her, she could have hit her head on a sharp corner and gotten injured! So, I am scared to call the police now for fear that I'll get in trouble for something I can't help!
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