Mom is 96 and is in a residential care home. For the last 6 months she has been experiencing extreme pain due to chronic sciatica, arthritis and headaches due to previous head injury from fall. We've done all the usual methods to relive pain including adding hydrocodone and botox injections. It still doesn't seem to help. She cries several times a day and is quite agitated. At times she is combatant. She has gotten to the point where, although she can still walk with walker she is increasingly becoming more clumsy. She is unable to toilet herself bc she's been flushing her pads down the toilet, so an aide has to always assist. She has 'forgotten' how to do many things as simply as using the chair remote to put herself in a reclining position (or back up). Her confusion level has elevated as well. Her team said they are sure she is transitioning and entering the final stage of her life. Since her pain seems to be irretractable at this point, palliative sedation (PS) was suggested as an alternative (not by her team). Basically, it's keeping her sedated to keep her out of pain and becoming anxious, confused and afraid. Before I bring it up with them, I would like to learn more about it and to hear of anyone's experience with it. TIA
The death of someone you love is always emotional, always troubling, and always brings ‘if only’ thoughts. Have courage! Yours, Margaret
The goal for hospice is COMFORT and that means medications to sedate, relieve pain, in larger doses than those normally given. It is recognized by all that this level of sedating someone below the level of dreams with medications to prevent pain and air hunger may/can hasten death by some minutes, hour, even days of agony and torment that would exist without relief from pain.
There is no coming back from deterioration of this kind in the spine. There is only constant torture. I think you should move now from palliative to hospice care, and should discuss with MD and with hospice interview until you fully understand that you are moving now to the end of life.
I am so sorry.
My mother received immediately before she passed at age 95, and it was indeed a peaceful and comforting passing.
I had concerns about it on faith based and moral grounds, and happened upon an article written by a clergy person of the same faith as my LO. Reading that, and knowing the policy of her residential center, convinced me that my relative would be content with it as it relates to her written, legal, personal wishes.
You are a good, loving daughter. You may be at peace with the understanding that you have addressed her needs in the best way accessible to you, and most important, to her.