Does anyone have a loved one with Alzheimer’s that drinks alcohol to excess daily?

I know I’m a little late to the party here but just read through the responses and a couple things occurred to me. First given this hasn’t been a life long problem or habit, in fact the opposite, it occurs to me that some of the “excess” may have more to do with his Alzheimer’s/Dementia than alcoholism. Having a drink is habit and he may forget how much he has had so I would propose kind of a medium between the advice to let him have what makes him happy and stop buying it for him or allowing him to have it. I wouldn’t fight with him or try to prevent him from having his cocktail but depending on what his drink of choice is but I would either water it down, give him mostly ginger ale with a whiff of liquor or just ginger ale in a drink glass on ice looking like his during for instance, substitute every other or every third beer with nonalcoholic beer, use seltzer water or flavored seltzer to water down or replace most of the alcohol, make 2 bottles out of the bottle of vodka, that sort of thing. If he really notices the taste difference make the change slowly, he hasn’t had a life time of building tolerance or needing that feeling every night so I’m thinking it may be much easier to do these things with him than it would be with some of the loved ones others here are dealing with, I’m hoping this is more about habit and memory for him than physical dependence. He is very lucky to have you watching out for him, not just giving up and I know it isn’t easy but you do it out of love. Good luck

I so appreciate everyone who has taken the time & thought to respond to me. It helps to have advice of others in this walk we are taking. Thanks to all.

If this is a major pleasure in his life then let it be - he won't change & you can't change him so save your time & energy for things that you can change/do

However you can water down some drinks as he gets deeper into dementia & always wait for him to ask for it - he will get to a point when he'll start forgetting to ask for it - use it as a marker on how soon he wants it & if he forgets to ask for it or even asking for his second drink may be slower as he gets deeper

An addicted person with a broken brain may not be able to stop consumption of alcohol. Perhaps this is all your husband has to look forward to. So be it. Poor man. Prayers to you.

Some residents with dementia/Alzheimer's at the Memory Care community I work at have their doctor's approval to drink alcohol. It's ordered for them on a monthly basis and doled out by the care givers. I don't know how much they're 'allowed' to have, though. In my opinion, let your DH have what he wants if he's not causing danger to you, trying to drive, or causing falls that create ambulance rides to the hospital. These diseases are horrible, and if alcohol helps him in some way, then leave him alone. It's the same thing with telling my mother she 'shouldn't' eat chocolate because it's either 'no good for her' or 'too fattening'. Who really cares, at this stage of the game? If her cholesterol is too high which causes her to pass away a bit earlier than nature intended, so be it. At least she will have died with a smile on her face.

Again, just my 2 cents worth. Why 'challenge him' if it's causing YOU such distress? I think you already have enough on your plate, frankly.

Best of luck!

JeanieJane, I don't know who told you not to let him have it. You tell whoever it was to do that themselves. Take yourself out of the equation. I come from a long line of drunks, I know. My theory, which is mine alone. He is going to die anyway so what difference does it make? If it keeps him happy and compliant, so be it. It makes life easier for you.

Notice for everyone out there, this is my theory after living my life with a family full of Alcoholics.

My husband liked beer, and I was able to find some N/A beer that he accepted. A friend managed her father's drinking (he preferred rum & coke) by pouring coke over ice, then drizzling rum on top; he got the taste and smell but very little alcohol. There also is N/A wine.

So sorry about all you have dealt with/are dealing with now. I appreciate your input!

Thank you. I appreciate your comments.

I have dealt with TWO elderly alcoholic parents. The whole "who is buying it", "water it down", is bullcrap. Don't let anyone put the blame on you, JeanieJane. I had to buy it for my parents or they would have driven the car themselves and possibly killed someone. This went on for years, and still does with my mom. She will drag herself to the store no matter what - in a walker, etc. and they even bring it out to her car because she is a frequent flyer. Watering it down - well that will be figured out real quick. It's not your fault and I'm sure you are just trying to make it through each day.

My dad was the one with dementia and he ended up in a care home. Sadly, it was hard to diagnose the progression of the dementia due to the alcohol comingling, and the neurologists and other doctors finally gave up and I was tasked with sticking him in a memory care facility. There he rots.

Mom sits at home alone drinking from 7 AM until pass-out. If she calls, I buy it for her because I don't want it on my conscience if she kills someone getting to the store. They will get to the store. They will crawl to the store if need be. When mom couldn't walk, dad dragged her out to the car and shoved her in behind the wheel to take him to the store and get his wine.

Don't put this on the poster. There probably is no solution. Husband will end up unable to live at home, but it will NOT be her fault.

Sorry, just read your profile and saw that you are caring for your husband, not your dad.

I hope you are able to resolve this issue soon. It can and usually does take time though. So sorry you have to deal with this on top of his medical issues.

I dealt with a terminally ill brother who was also addicted to heroin. You’re right. It it exhausting to have additional problems on top of an illness. My brother died from Hepatitis C. He also had really bad diabetes.

The suggestions to dilute the booze might be a good way to start. I’d also speak to an addiction counselor about the effects of withdrawal. I would also speak to his doctor to know about how the alcohol is effecting his ALZ.

Alcohol withdrawals can be brutal and dangerous if not done properly. You don’t mention if you feel he is an alcoholic, so I don’t want to jump the gun here. If he has been drinking heavily for years I’d be concerned.

I suspect he is drowning his sorrows in much the same way as my brother was escaping his pain with drugs.

My brother had been in recovery from heroin, then came a horrendous motorcycle accident where he nearly died. He was in severe pain and I guess you can figure out the rest. Yeah, he dove back into drugs.

I also feel after I set him up on hospice and he started on OxyContin it through him back into his dependency on drugs. It’s complicated. Not a simple thing to deal with and people need to understand that in order to reach out in love.

Broke my heart. Life is a struggle. People cope in destructive ways. I’m truly sorry for your pain. It’s devastating to watch people self destruct. At the same time, I get it. It’s a vicious cycle that is extremely hard to break. It’s hard for the patient and hard for the family. I empathize with both.

Try to reach out in a supportive way. No one truly wants to be an alcoholic or drug addict. Try very hard not to judge. I know there are tons of emotions involved. I lived it with my brother. Unfortunately, I have lost a nephew to suicide because he couldn’t beat an alcohol and cocaine habit. I’ve lost a few friends too. None that I would refer to as ‘low lifes.’ They were emotionally struggling with life situations. I hope that I am explaining this well. It’s a very sensitive topic for me.

I wish you and your father well. Hugs!

My question is, how is he getting the alcohol? If you are buying it, STOP IT. Can you save the empty bottles & fill them with a placebo? Would he notice his vodka has been replaced with water? That the whiskey has been replaced with regular Lipton tea or watered down flat coke?

So, what is he drinking? Can you water it down to at least diminish the problem a bit?