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I think that if your mom, having being a great mom as you mentioned, could have any saying in your attempt to have some enjoyable time, she’d very likely tell you to please go ahead! And that’s not an invitation to being irresponsible, it’s just your right to be human.
We all need a moment of peace and joy to endure the harshness of life when someone we love so much is suffering.
Hugs and give yourself permission to smile!