My dad is in memory care with dementia. The place is well-staffed and well-organized and they really try hard to find ways to keep my father engaged and happy. He hates it. He calls it an institution. I used to spend more time with him and see him four or more times a week. Now that he just complains to me, I spend less and less time with him, just seeing him once on the weekend. I have no energy for him after a long day of work, even calling him has become impossible. This year has been one crisis after another for him. Up until May he was fine and lived completely independently. He was still balancing his checkbook and doing the math in his head. Now he doesn't even remember where he was born. Many things happened to him, I won't go into it. I have tried to do all the right things but he kept getting worse, and his unhappiness is the worst part. I no longer have any sense of self and am have become deeply depressed. He is just going to keep getting worse, and at some point run out of money and have to be in a place that isn't so nice. I feel like I am being sucked down with him and by my feelings of failure. I have two siblings who don't help. At this point it feels like, it's me or him. If I don't stop seeing him and try to have my own life, I'm going to end up in a psych ward. I am not exaggerating. The thing that makes it harder is that once in a blue moon, he'll act more like his old self and joke around and crack me up. The man can be very funny. And when that happens, I know how deeply I will be broken hearted when he is gone, and how I wish I could be with him.