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I have burnout when it comes to scheduling tests and appointments for my 91 year old mother. I cannot allow her to participate because she doesn't hear well and has poor cognitive functioning and screws up even the smallest messages. My sister, her other caretaker has cancer and cannot handle the stress of this so I am trying to take over but between the endless voicemail menus and pushing one for this, and two for that, and three for this and then dealing with incompetent people I get very annoyed and it shows in my voice because I become condescending and hostile and people refer to it as 'yelling' regardless of whether or not I've raised the tone of my voice a single octave. This gives them the moral high ground to then do their job as poorly as the day is long. In other words I let them get to me. My sister is still the technical emergency contact for my mother, and I've told her that only one person can do this because the splitting that then ensues on the part of these passive aggressive people is appalling. I hate to make her do all of it because she has cancer, but then I have chronic and serious illnesses too. I don't know if anyone else has been in this position.

Been there and still am. DH had one day surgery on Monday. Because of his hearing I stayed with him as long as I could. I mentioned to the woman admitting him that the nurses, ect need to realize he is deaf without his hearing aide and not much better with it. She kind of nodded her head and then went on to tell my husband something. I said, Really they need to be told. (My DH doesn't always do it) She got curt with me. Yes, I did try to get the point across because people tend to overlook his deafness. But, she was in the wrong being curt. She works with the public and needs to be professional no matter what.

Does Mom really need all these appts. I cut back on my Moms. Once her Specialists got her problem under control, I cut down on how often she went. From 6 months to a year. Her PCP I took for prescription refills only unless she was sick.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Many Doctors offices now have Patient Portals that you can use to schedule appointments or ask questions. This might be easier for you if you can set that up.
I guess I am lucky when I call my doctors office I get a "central scheduling" person that will check the doctors schedule for openings and I make appointments that way. I also call and if I have a question they will relay that to the office and someone will call me back so I am not on hold or having to press numerous buttons to talk to someone.
The Patient Portals might be the way to go so both you and your sister can have access to the Portal and view information so you are both "in the loop" if you switch off taking Mom to the doctor.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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I suppose some appointments are necessary if there are acute conditions that need treatment, but at 91 it might be time to consider a more palliative approach to her health care,
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Reply to cwillie
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Appointment making can be quite tiresome. I try to make appointments online whenever the doctor is living in the same decade as I am. If the doc is a dinosaur, I try to schedule appointments by phone when the office first opens for the day. I find we're all a bit more patient with one another at opening than later in the day.
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Reply to faeriefiles
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Yep. My husband is bed bound and I signed up with an agency who sends out nurse practitioners for house calls. The office at this place is so incompetent that it truly concerns me. At one point, the nurse called in a prescription for him that was half his regular dose. Then before that didn’t even call one in. I tell them repeatedly I’m not home from work until 2PM but they continue to call and say they’ll be out “between 11and 1.”

They are the only ones in my area who make house calls, so we’re stuck. But I’m using them for very basic care for him and prescription refills.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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anonymous840695 May 17, 2019
thanks for responding. it is much appreciated. best wishes
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