My 95 year old Mother has been addicted to gambing since 1992. Ever since the casino opened. She is competent and of sound mind. She lives alone, pays her bills, cooks her food in the microwave, goes up 13 stairs to get to her 2nd floor bedroom all by herself. My Father died in 1998. My Mother has literally gambled away hundreds of thousands of dollars according to my Father BEFORE he died. He tried everything, took her name off the checking and savings, took away credit cards, but she always found a way to gamble.
When he was diagnosed with cancer, he put everything back in her name. Everything. She had all of the money. Well, they had been married 50 years so she was entiltled to everything. I talked to an elder lawyer. He told me that as long as she is of sound mind and competent she is free to gamble. He told me that just because someone makes bad choices, doesn't make them incompetent. I don't give her any money. But I had no other options 2 weeks ago when I said to her if you let me wash your hair and bathe you I will take you to the casino. Now I know that was the wrong thing to do!! But she hasn't bathed or washed her hair since May. The time before that was last year!!! So I bribed her with the casino, She lit up like a Christmas tree!! All happy!!! All nice to me!!
When it was time to go to the casino a few days later, she called me and said she was going to stay home and watch the football game. I was shocked!! But this past weekend, my son took her to the casino on Saturday and she said for him to pick her up on Sunday. Which he did. But the Security Guard said she can't be left alone there. She can barely walk even with a cane. She needs help getting to the bathroom. That won't stop her. She will call a bus to the grocery store and use the motorzied scooter they have and just sit at the scratch off ticket for hours on end. She brings home all the tickets. She didn't win on any of them. She is a hoarder too so the tickets add to her collection. Doctors tell me there is NOTHING I can do about any of it because she is competent. Is anyone else going through this horrible situation? She also suffers from depression and high anxiety. She is a hoarder and has OCD. She stopped driving 3 years ago so in its place she started drinking at night at home before she goes to bed. She has been suffering from depression all of her life. She took medication for it back in the 1970's but not since. Oh yeah, the doctor said she is off the chart cognitively for her age!! Her memory is impeccable!!! She doesn't forget a thing!! I just wondered if anyone else can relate to this?
You’re right to say that she has an illness. She does. It’s sad. Sad for everyone, including your mom.
Still, there isn’t a good reason for you to tolerate her behavior. It has been hard on everyone involved. Give yourself permission to do whatever it is that you feel is best.
I am so sorry that you have had this burden. It’s a heavy weight.
Your child should not have been dumped in a gift shop for her to gamble. That wasn’t fair to him. That does indeed show how deeply she is effected by her obsession with gambling. So sad. I totally understand your disappointment, frustration and even anger.
Your mom is a hoarder, which is an anxiety disorder related to OCD, plus she has OCD and suffers from depression. I seriously doubt ANYTHING you say or do will stop her from doing what she loves best: gambling. And, at 95 years old, it will probably take an illness or being forced into a wheelchair for her to stop. Unless she can find a bus which accommodates wheelchairs to take her to the casino.
I think you're fighting a losing battle here, unfortunately. "To the exclusion of all else" is my favorite definition of addiction. They don't care about anything or anyone else, just the addiction. It's the first, the last, the everything.
She has to want to stop. Others will have to stop enabling her.
In Louisiana a person can ban themselves with the state and it’s nearly impossible to reverse that ban.
When gambling was approved here in Louisiana the state said that the only way they would vote gambling in was if part of the gambling proceeds would pay for a rehab facility. It’s called ‘CORE.’ It’s an in-house gambling rehab, completely free for the addict to attend. I believe it’s a 30 day program.
I know a couple of people who did attend. One woman that I know actually went twice before actually being able to walk away from gambling. She is super wealthy. She started gambling because she was bored and thought it would be fun. She got hooked. Big time!
I know of a man who was extremely addicted to the race track. He couldn’t stop betting on the horses.
There is hope if she goes to GA and participates in a program. This woman that I know is doing okay now. Her husband even started buying her jewelry again. He quit before when she hocked every piece of jewelry that she owned.
Doesn’t seem like she would go to rehab or gambler’s anonymous on her own. She has to want to walk away from gambling. It’s no longer recreation if a person becomes addicted. Those slot machines are the ‘crack’ of gambling. Of course not everyone who gambles will get hooked. Many enjoy it as recreation but sadly some people will become addicted to gambling. It’s just like drinking. There are social drinkers and there are alcoholics.