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The shunt has been adjusted twice and my mom still is not steady (some is due to dementia) and incontinence is still is a problem. She is being discharged from rehab tomorrow and I think I am going to lose my mind without an aide here.

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My mother had this procedure and it didn't help her all that much. Her balance never improved and at this point (3 years later) she's wheelchair-bound. Her incontinence improved slightly. Her cognitive impairment has not worsened and perhaps that can be attributed to the shunt surgery. She regrets having it but I think it was worth a shot.

Does your mother live with you? Are you worried she will need more assistance than you can provide if she comes home?

I love the idea of refusing to take her home, but I'm not sure it works unless your mother has the funds to pay for a facility or is eligible for Medicaid. Poor balance and incontinence won't qualify a person for Medicaid.  Is her dementia severe enough to require a nursing home level of care?
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Refuse to take her home.
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So sorry to hear this, Ernie.
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Ernie, is it time for your mom to become a long term care patient?
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