Teddie, yes, all indications are you found your own answer below. They assess people when they come in, the doc who is doing the admit assessment, as to whether the person can leave unaccompanied or not, as to whether a person is capable of taking own meds or not, as to whether a person can be on public transit independently and etc. So the doc is your first step if all agree your Mom can leave on her own. And of course the sign in and sign out rules are typical.
If your mom has been diagnosed with dementia and she is in a Memory Care facility she would have to be "checked out" if you were to take her to lunch. If she was not returned you could be charged with "kidnapping" Is it possible that your brother may have put restrictions on anyone taking her out?
If you want to do what you are planning, and I STRONGLY advise against it..you would have to get an Elder Law Attorney and you could begin Guardianship procedures. IF you were granted Guardianship you then could move your mom. But you would also be responsible for her safety, welfare, all her medical care. Her funds (Social Security or pensions) would be used for this so most of the financial burden would not fall on you. But renovations to your house to accommodate her would for the most part be your responsibility, some but not all could be charged to her account. You also need to be prepared to care for her 24/7/365. Does she wander? Is she violent? Is she incontinent? these are all things you will or may have to contend with. I would strongly advise you leave her where she is, visit often but leave her where she is. When she says she wants to go home..you tell her "you are home" .. "you are safe here is important and that is what you need"
My mother neither wonders, is incontinent or is violent. She is very personable, and only has short term memory problems. On the assessment for dementia, with 10 questions, she got a 6 (I only got 9 because I did not remember the exact date). And a 6 is not considered bad of the assessment scale.
Actually, through legal research I think I have an answers to my questions a logical & legal solution. First, my bother must be using the attending physicians assessment of "lack of capacity" my mother must have received when she was released from the hospital 4 months ago for septic pneumonia. This document and the medical power of attorney are the only documents, (other than a guardianship which my brother does not have) which could be used to prevent my mother from leaving an assisted living facility. At the time of the signing of this document, my mother was at death's door, did not make any sense and was being released from the hospital for septic pneumonia. (BTW, my mother only went to the hospital because I could hear her struggling for breath, before my brother grabbed the phone out of my mother's hands and hung up on me. After my brother left my mother's home, I got my mother's day care provider to take her to the emergency room where she was diagnosed with septic pneumonia. With another 24 hours at home, my mother would have been dead.) Now, 4 months later, she is healthy again and back to normal but now living in an Assisted Living Facility (Type B) where my brother took her after her release from the hospital.
Secondly, in Texas a medical POA, even with a doctor's certification of lack of capacity can be voided at any time. And, although my mother no longer lacks capacity, I am being very cautious and I am taking her to her regular physician and having the medical POA voiding document and the new medical POA placed in her medical files. I am also making sure I am up to date on her medical condition and have prescriptions for the few medications she takes each day. My mother will also void her financial POA at this time, and will take care of her property and funds herself---very limited number of steps each month and I will send my brother a monthly statement.)
I do not see any purpose in going to court for guardianship for 2 reasons: 1. My mother is not to a point where a court would declare her incompetent. 2. Going to court for guardianship is very expensive and my mother's estate is not large.
I have not decided if my mother should live with us. I will wait and see how much she likes it here. And, even if she loves it here, I would want her to go home during the hottest part of the year, and I will go with her. To do this, I will have to have my brother removed from my mother's home (he has my father's home---so he will not be homeless). And this procedure will probably take a couple of months. Also, I am not planning on altering my home at all for my mother. This home is one story, has tile floors, wide hallways, large rooms, and a lovely garden area out back with cool running water, and birds & butterflies & rabbits, etc.---which my mother loves. The shower is a large walk in. And, then we will just take one day at a time and if we need help, we will get help.
My mother wants write a will so "all is fair", so I will take her to her lawyer. I have suggested to her that she just divide everything equally (including my brother.) and I think this is what she will do. Prior to this, for at least the past 10 years, the only person my mother's lawyer has spoken to has been my brother. I intend to discuss this situation with the lawyer, and suggest that he listen to my mother's wishes, what she wants and what is best for her.
I know that I do not know what a burden this will be---sort of like when you have children----you can't possibly understand how it will affect your life until after they are born. And I know I am not Mother Theresa, but I will try my best.
I used the wrong term "locked facility". It is not locked, but as I explained in my reply to all, a medical power of attorney and doctor's assessment of lack of capacity are used to keep my mother in, unless there are specific instructions from my brother.
At first I think that the mature thing to do would be to talk to my brother, then I think about what a waste of time that would be. And, my heart is just not into speaking with my brother I really can't bring myself into fighting with my brother.
Ah, I've just read your profile page. There is a huge difference between taking out a relatively healthy person living in Assisted Living and a person with dementia who is in a memory care or nursing home. As medical and financial POA your brother does have the right to restrict anyone from taking your mother out, continually attempting to do so could result in restricting your access to your mother.
I found that my mom when in day care followed by memory care did better without trips out. Upon return she was so confused and became despondent and aggressive. It was just better for mom to stay put.
If this is the problem why not visit and have lunch with her in the fAcility or bring something in.
Teddy, I read your profile. It sounds like you might be planning to get mom out, permanently and take her home with you then later to her own home. Do not do that. Do not get her to sign new POA's selecting you. Yes, this potentially could get you into plenty of legal trouble of the criminal variety.
Thank you for your warning. Believe me, I am worried. However, now I am working with a Texas Ombudsman for the rights of residents of long term care facilities to make sure I am doing everything legally, This is a wonderful program and it is my understanding that it is available in all 50 states. I have also done extensive research in Texas elder law and have paid particular attention to Texas Health & Safety Code, Title 2, Health, Subtitle H-Public health Provisions. Chapter 166. Advance Directives. Subchapter A, General Provisions. This document gave very specific and pertinent information on my mother's situation.
Good reply. Actually, I am working with the Texas Ombudsman for residents of long term care facilities to make sure I know exactly what is going on. Texas, as well as all other states started this program a number of years ago and I think it is wonderful.
ALs are not locked units like a memory care (and even there responsible family members are free to take someone out for lunch!), they are generally much more like Independent Living facilities with a suite of pay for service options like help with medications or bathing - many ILs and ALs are indistinguishable from each other.
Is it possible that your brother may have put restrictions on anyone taking her out?
If you want to do what you are planning, and I STRONGLY advise against it..you would have to get an Elder Law Attorney and you could begin Guardianship procedures. IF you were granted Guardianship you then could move your mom. But you would also be responsible for her safety, welfare, all her medical care. Her funds (Social Security or pensions) would be used for this so most of the financial burden would not fall on you. But renovations to your house to accommodate her would for the most part be your responsibility, some but not all could be charged to her account.
You also need to be prepared to care for her 24/7/365.
Does she wander? Is she violent? Is she incontinent? these are all things you will or may have to contend with.
I would strongly advise you leave her where she is, visit often but leave her where she is.
When she says she wants to go home..you tell her "you are home" .. "you are safe here is important and that is what you need"
Actually, through legal research I think I have an answers to my questions a logical & legal solution. First, my bother must be using the attending physicians assessment of "lack of capacity" my mother must have received when she was released from the hospital 4 months ago for septic pneumonia. This document and the medical power of attorney are the only documents, (other than a guardianship which my brother does not have) which could be used to prevent my mother from leaving an assisted living facility. At the time of the signing of this document, my mother was at death's door, did not make any sense and was being released from the hospital for septic pneumonia. (BTW, my mother only went to the hospital because I could hear her struggling for breath, before my brother grabbed the phone out of my mother's hands and hung up on me. After my brother left my mother's home, I got my mother's day care provider to take her to the emergency room where she was diagnosed with septic pneumonia. With another 24 hours at home, my mother would have been dead.) Now, 4 months later, she is healthy again and back to normal but now living in an Assisted Living Facility (Type B) where my brother took her after her release from the hospital.
Secondly, in Texas a medical POA, even with a doctor's certification of lack of capacity can be voided at any time. And, although my mother no longer lacks capacity, I am being very cautious and I am taking her to her regular physician and having the medical POA voiding document and the new medical POA placed in her medical files. I am also making sure I am up to date on her medical condition and have prescriptions for the few medications she takes each day. My mother will also void her financial POA at this time, and will take care of her property and funds herself---very limited number of steps each month and I will send my brother a monthly statement.)
I do not see any purpose in going to court for guardianship for 2 reasons: 1. My mother is not to a point where a court would declare her incompetent. 2. Going to court for guardianship is very expensive and my mother's estate is not large.
I have not decided if my mother should live with us. I will wait and see how much she likes it here. And, even if she loves it here, I would want her to go home during the hottest part of the year, and I will go with her. To do this, I will have to have my brother removed from my mother's home (he has my father's home---so he will not be homeless). And this procedure will probably take a couple of months. Also, I am not planning on altering my home at all for my mother. This home is one story, has tile floors, wide hallways, large rooms, and a lovely garden area out back with cool running water, and birds & butterflies & rabbits, etc.---which my mother loves. The shower is a large walk in. And, then we will just take one day at a time and if we need help, we will get help.
My mother wants write a will so "all is fair", so I will take her to her lawyer. I have suggested to her that she just divide everything equally (including my brother.) and I think this is what she will do. Prior to this, for at least the past 10 years, the only person my mother's lawyer has spoken to has been my brother. I intend to discuss this situation with the lawyer, and suggest that he listen to my mother's wishes, what she wants and what is best for her.
I know that I do not know what a burden this will be---sort of like when you have children----you can't possibly understand how it will affect your life until after they are born. And I know I am not Mother Theresa, but I will try my best.
Thanks for listening.
When you talk to your mom on the phone, please say reassuring things like "I'm looking into that mom". "When the doctor says it's okay, Mom".
Can you talk to your brother about her diagnosis and what her doctors are telling him about her prognosis?
I used the wrong term "locked facility". It is not locked, but as I explained in my reply to all, a medical power of attorney and doctor's assessment of lack of capacity are used to keep my mother in, unless there are specific instructions from my brother.
At first I think that the mature thing to do would be to talk to my brother, then I think about what a waste of time that would be. And, my heart is just not into speaking with my brother I really can't bring myself into fighting with my brother.
Thank you for your input.
If this is the problem why not visit and have lunch with her in the fAcility or bring something in.
Teddy, I read your profile. It sounds like you might be planning to get mom out, permanently and take her home with you then later to her own home. Do not do that. Do not get her to sign new POA's selecting you. Yes, this potentially could get you into plenty of legal trouble of the criminal variety.
I am working with a Texas Ombudsman for the rights of residents of long term care facilities to make sure I am doing everything legally, This is a wonderful program and it is my understanding that it is available in all 50 states. I have also done extensive research in Texas elder law and have paid particular attention to Texas Health & Safety Code, Title 2, Health, Subtitle H-Public health Provisions. Chapter 166. Advance Directives. Subchapter A, General Provisions. This document gave very specific and pertinent information on my mother's situation.