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My mother in law’s doctor provided a written statement that she needs a diabetic diet. Since moving to the facility her A1c has gone from 6.6-8.8 and has been placed on more medication. The facility said that they do not have to provide diabetic diets and they cannot tell her no if she requests sweets. My mother in law is not asking for sweets they offer them lemonade, sweet tea, cookies and then she accepts it. We are asking that they refrain from providing sweets. They also moved her from level 2 to level 3 after the medication increase and we do not know why. They said we would have a meeting before any increases and saw a draft for the increased amount today with no explanation. I have called the ombudsman and left a voice message but they said I am supposed to call department of public health. I left a message but feel that I will be going in circles. Does anyone know who I can contact? I am in SC and we have her in one of the best facilities. I am not sure if the problem is with the director or if I am expecting too much.

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My mom's AL won't do any diet accommodations. My request was for low-mastication foods because of poor use of her dentures and inability to chew tough food. She didn't need everything blended, but softer foods. But how crazy to think that a place with old people would actually provide food that many old people need. She also needs some sugar restriction due to it triggering catastrophic diarrhea, and she has no self-control when it comes to sweets. Nope! They said if those were her needs, she should probably be in a nursing home. What??
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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AlvaDeer explains it well.

If you discussed that during admissions, they likely would have told you they are not able to accommodate her special diet needs. It's up to you to find a facility which will accommodate her diet, or just let go of that idea entirely and hope she enjoys her last years in a facility you say is one of the best.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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When I first read your question, I was thinking of a skilled nursing facility, which I believe will try and accommodate special dietary needs.
Now, re-reading, if she is in an assisted living facility, she is fairly independent to do as she wishes. They are probably not preparing an individualized dinner plate and bringing it to her room.

I'm glad she is in a great facility. However, as some have suggested, you may have to let go of your expectations that her dietary needs will be met to your standards. You simply don't have much control over what happens there.

You could, if it is important to keep her A1C levels in check, place her in a skilled nursing facility - there are some good ones - and insist that she be given an appropriate diet for her health. A smaller, home care setting might be able to monitor what she eats and give individualized attention. This facility she is in has already stated that they can not accommodate a diabetic diet. You can make complaints to the ombudsman and the director, but I don't think it will change their policy.

Yes, they should contact the family for any changes in her status. It may have been an oversight, the staff can get pretty busy just taking care of residents.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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When my parents were both in facilities, they were allowed to eat whatever they wanted even though my dad was Diabetic. The facility will give them Insulin and yet feed them sugar all day. My mom was moved up to next to the last level because she needed to be changed, bathed, immobile and became dependent.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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Address your situation to the facility Director. It’s so lousy expensive to live there, so why not accommodate special diets?
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Reply to Patathome01
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nerpal1: Contact the DON.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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When you chose the facility did you ask if they offer diabetic meals? In AL, residents still get to choose what they eat. It might be in the state scope of practice. They can also sneek snacks. So it depends on the facility. When my mom moved to IL, then MC. The diabetic meals were offered. However in IL, mom could go into the cafeteria where snacks were available whenever she went. When in MC, those snacks were still in the IL, AL areas but when in MC, she was locked in so that the goodies were not easily accessable. She could only grab a couple of hard candies at the hairdresser.
I am not sure if an ombudsman will be of help since that person is for SNF.
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Reply to MACinCT
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Hire a Personal Injury Lawyer to sue them , you will see How Fast they change her diet . This is beyond neglect and a Personal Injury lawyer can help you . Or Move her to another facility .
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Reply to KNance72
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My observations with menus in different levels of care include excessive carbohydrates and limited non-starchy vegetables. Only while my mom was able to go to the dining room (pre-COVID) and make her own decisions was her diet mostly appropriate for a diabetic. As her decision making capacity declined and her care level increased, her diet was less diabetic friendly. The situation becomes one of picking your battles. At a point, it's more important to eat and enjoy rather than to meet A1C goals. This doesn't mean that the diets can't be improved.
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Reply to MaryNTN
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My mom went into MC with diabetes. She had been eating horrible on her own and probably not taking her diabetes meds. She had two weeks in the hospital before being placed in MC. They got her diabetes under control and I think she was taken off of diabetes meds. They check her blood sugar rarely, but she had been doing well up until this week. They started her on a low dose of meds. Her facility will not do insulin injections, so if her diabetes gets much worse they will ask us to move her. The facility provides Southern comfort foods and high carb snacks. It's pretty surprising how well the patients are tolerating the high carb diet. I visit twice a week and take her diabetic candy and no sugar drinks as treats. She seems OK with those and said she rarely eats the snacks they give, but I don't know how accurate that is. So, for what it's worth, if the patient is pretty advanced and the facility is otherwise safe and homey, I would overlook the diet. That's coming from someone that has been on a strict diet for over two decades.
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Reply to JustAnon
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SadBigSister Sep 9, 2025
My Dad, in AL, is in the diabetic stage now and it will not provide a special diet for him. While the food is not the worst institutional food I've seen, it could be better and at every meal a sugary dessert is provided. Also, the snacks that are available in between meals are potato chips, saltines and other things that are not the healthiest. I've only seen fresh fruit put out for snacks once or twice and I suspect it is when the facility was doing a tour or being inspected. I know they put these snacks out because these are a few things seniors like to eat. Its frustrating! I don't have an answer for you but from what I understand this is not unusual for AL. Also, the change in care level should have been discussed with you prior to the change since it requires an additional fee. Most of these places, including where my father is which is private pay and does not accept Medicaid are owned by large corporations where corners are cut every way.
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Nerpal1

I am so sorry you are dealing with the realities of facility care. It can be a shock.
When our loved ones are at home many of us have found ways to easily limit the things that are toxic to them. Some go into care seeking more help with meds only to find their LO will need even more meds to tolerate the system. Usually there are multiple reasons an elder needs facility care and poor food choices or not, the decision has been made.

Facilities will tell you that doctors orders are complied with but sadly our society still doesn’t accept that food is a drug.

We, the original caregivers, have a steep learning curve on just how many problems there are to contend with and what we must accept with the new regime.

It appears to have hit your MIL pretty hard and I expect she will require more care as her system deals with the effects of out of control blood sugar. I’m sure she is not alone.

You might find something to help her with her stress (anxiety) or perhaps even depression, which might help her make better choices if she is able to understand what is happening to her. Just a thought to consider.

I would hate to be in your MIL’s position of having to say no over and over to what she craves.

Would she be a candidate for a Dexcom to get alerts of her BS spikes? She’s in ALF so we know she has some limitations but perhaps still willing to try other devices to help her adjust.

Liquid sugar is the worst offender for a diabetic (teas, juices or like my DH does on a daily basis, honey in his coffee).
No digestion is needed before the body must take on the sugar rush.

Blood sugar is the highest 1 or 2 hours after eating and here comes the beverage cart with sweet ice tea and other sweet drinks. Not good for even one person.

But a glass of water with a slice of lemon or lime in a pretty glass and maybe a straw would be hydrating and helpful to all except those who are restricted from fluids.

Your MIL, I assume, is not yet deemed incompetent. She is expected to make her own decisions and it is really hard for some to make better decisions or push back at the inappropriate offerings. It’s truly cruel. It’s like offering a drug addict of any description their preferred drug when they are already freaked out with the new environment that are trying to adjust to. A lot for many to deal with.

Often we use “safety” as a criteria on when it’s time to place someone. I find “safety” not to be so easily defined.

I’m not telling you to give up on improving her diet. I’m just saying you will most likely have to find a workaround. Perhaps someone to accompany her to the dining room and help her make better choices or a standing diet order or predetermined meals delivered to her room?? All of this will mean increased cost but once YOU understand exactly what you are up against you might be able to find a way to make eating and hydrating safer for her.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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MissesJ Sep 9, 2025
They won’t give her insulin, so they certainly won’t deal with a continuous glucose monitor.
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I would ask the don in writing why you’re being asked to pay more, especially as they refuse to accommodate her medical diet. As op pointed out, it’s not like mil is ordering sweets. She’s just eating what’s in front of her.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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Tomato! Tomato with pasta is worse. Both these are guaranteed to spike the A1C and daily fasting glucose levels of the diabetics in our family. Having daily candy, cookies, cake and the other simple sugary things, not so much.

Oh, and stress. The correlation between getting over stressed with worry and the numbers spiking is very clear.

I'm unable to place my mother into AL/MC because of her extremely specialized medically necessary diet. It goes way beyond diabetic or gluten free or vegan or..., so they won't take her as a client. Diets can make or break where someone can live.

Ask the administration if there is a compromise that can be reached to help her levels. The ones we've dealt with have been more than happy to communicate, even if not successful in placement due to diet.

Good luck.
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Reply to MyNameIsTrouble
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ALF and MC are often privately owned, run, managed and they provide what the contract says they provide. While they often have to abide by State laws regarding long term care, they may be free of federal laws for Medicaid/Medicare facilities that are liable for federal laws. If MIL was diabetic and required special diet this should have been discussed at the time of entry.
Level of care is discussed with the resident him/herself unless there is a deficit in ability to understand that is present and known and part of entry contract. Discussion of their level of care can then be discussed by the resident and family as he or she chooses. If however he/she is currently unable to manage own life and is under the care of a POA it would be discussed with the POA who is also likely responsible for the cost in care.

When one comes down to being unhappy with the contracted care available at ALF or MC then it often comes down with management nicely suggesting they seek care and residency elsewhere with some statement such as "Your Mother may be unhappy with us; you might wish to seek other placement for her" and etc.

I would meet and discuss with administration what is available. The level of care in ALF is considered you are basically able to make your own decisions about sweet tea, happy hour, ice cream social, bingo game meets and etc. on your own. The family isn't involved. In my bro's place the residents could typically go on gambling meets. This would be up to the resident, not the family.

Just as an aside, A lC often has to do with MANY factors, not just sugary treats. Has to do a lot with carbohydrates over time, such as pastas and other like.

Good luck. Hope things can be arranged to the satisfaction of all.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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nerpal1 Sep 2, 2025
Thank you so much for your response.
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