My mother, 91, had a stroke 1mth ago. Prior,  she was VERY slow but independent. Social worker recommends nursing home, family says not yet. Hopsital says Apraxia yet I, and others in my family, have seen improvements on every visit, should they not hold off labelling her until she reaches a plateau in her improvements - they always point to her advanced age as the first reason to place her in a nursing home (yet her little posse at the retirement home are all centuraians - she's the youngster). I have see her twice a week since the stroke and continue to see improvements such as more motor control, finer motor control, better speech. Yes, she screws up words and gets the dates and locations wrong but she's not originally from the area so of course she wouldn't know locations. I test her memory every time and there are improvements - 2wks ago she was confused yes, but now she can talk about her kids, grandkids and great-grandkids... Yesterday she went to the bathroom using her walke on her own - very slow but no hesitations when an un-routine task was presented as they were saying. She got up off the chair, got a hold of the walker, discovered the wheels were locked, unlocked them walked to the bathroom door, manuveured backing up to the toliet (even I would have trouble doing that in that cramped space), and got the job done - something she was not doing last week and something they say she could not do . I'm afraid that they just don't give her time to get things done and want her out of the way which is why they want to send her to a nursing home - which would devistate her. She want to return to the retirement home with assisted living. I know these are professionals but I don't want to throw in the towel before it's time...

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
You are right to stand up for her. If she is improving, document it all. Then start looking at in-home agencies who can have people help her when she gets to her own retirement home.

Nursing homes aren't all bad and these people mean well, in that her age is a factor. But if she can be independent and happy in another environment, and if she has the cognitive ability to make decisions, it seems everything possible should be done to respect those decisions. She sounds determined and strong. She may never get so she can be alone - but then she may. There are alarms she can wear and in-home help agencies available. Keep monitoring her and documenting her progress. Then find a doctor who knows elders and respects them to back you if you feel the retirement home is best for her.

These are never easy decisions and you will have to understand that if she has problems when she is alone, she may have to move again, and that is hard. Obviously, you love her and want the best for her. Good luck to you.
Helpful Answer (0)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter