I had to take my father to the hospital today due to a low blood count. I was there all day today. He had to have blood transfusions. The doctor gave him the bad news and it was how it was said that made my father start to have angina pain.
Has anyone ever gone through that before with their loved ones doctor? I think he could of explained to my father in a better way then saying dying from an infection is painful when my father is already in bad shape due to his bone marrow. Of course I went out to my car and cried my eyes out. I felt bad leaving my father there but over the course of the last few months I have been burnt out to the max. It is Christmas now and I feel it will be Dads last Christmas but I am not playing God either. I have that guilt that I read about in here so often. feel guilty that I did not step up to the plate last appointment and questioned the low blood counts right then and there. They were going to do it again in January and I had Hospice come out and draw it yesterday and got a call last night that it was critically low. I think today was the first time any doctor (while as insensitive I felt it was) told my father the truth about his condition. Why do doctors put it off on family members to tell their loved ones the truth about their situation? I asked my father if his doctor ever told him these things and he said no. When I left the hospital I went over to the Chapel and prayed. I felt numb the whole drive home. When they got my father upstairs that doctor was more sympathetic and caring and said whatever dad wanted which even included going there for blood once a month. We also talked briefly about the respite and I will still hold on to that for next year as it is what I need. At this point with all the different doctors opinion my mind is wondering what is truth and what is not. Why can everyone including the nurses all be on one page as it makes the caregiver confused and I am just sitting here thinking how much more confused the patient is - my father. I am sad tonight and I have known Dad has been failing for sometime now and my stark reality hit me even harder today. Keep us in your prayers if you could. I appreciate all comments and miss my father here tonight EVEN after I have complained about how worn out I have been - I feel guilty about complaining. Is this normal?