I am having touble dealing with my mom, for 6 years I have been her cargiver I do everything with the help of my lovely wife. Mom is has a sharp mind but her helath otherwise is failing in everyway. Meds dont help, I take her to Dr after Dr all they say is she is 84 and not going to get better. I dont know what to do , she is in assisted living facility and has evrything she needs, but depressed and unhappy is an understatement. I have tried to make her comfortable and happy but it is not working and It is affecting me and my health.... lots of advise from family but no help just talk, so I am on my own (my wife is so helpful) I am afraid she will give up because I am her son and I am at the end of my rope .. dont know what to do , mom takes many meds (dont know why she is not getting better and she is miserable) HELP.. money is a concern , why should mom spend the end of her life so unhappy and hurting all the time... we have been to Doc after Doc had every test that they can do the results always the same, she is not going to getr better and is going to die, that is what I am told.. Can anyone tell me how to help her live out her life and appriciate what she has had not what she does not have anymore. I cannot sleep, my patience are at an end ... I try to understand that she is loosing her mind and helth and to understand but it is very very hard... I am hurting for her.......Scott

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Have you found a doctor who is willing to look at all of her medications and see if she needs them all? Sometimes there are interactions with the drugs that make people worse. A geriatrician (a doctor who specializes in aging folks) is ideal.
It's hard to accept (for us, as adult children and caregivers) that sometimes people just get tired of living because they are tired of all of the losses they endure. Then, depression can set in, and they seem to just exist. Please don't blame yourself - you are a loving son. You are doing your best. Try to have her seen by a geriatrician if you can, for one more opinion.
You may want to look at counseling for yourself to help you cope. You and your wife have given so much, and your mother doesn't want to see this affect your marriage. There comes a time when self-care and marriage care must be up there with our eldercare. It's important for everyone that you find a balance.
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