Is our doctor's office the best place to explain dementia to my husband?

Great answer, Sunny.

It depends on how much he can understand and how open he is. There are varying opinions on how much a dementia patient needs to know, since the patient will not retain the information and it can cause so much distress. But, still, he has the right to know.

I know that my loved one's regular doctor explained to her that she had memory loss and that she could not take care of her own needs and affairs any longer. She didn't go into details about what was down the road. She just talked about improving her overall health and having people around her to support her. She focused on the positive, such as getting physical therapy, using her walker, taking her meds, etc.

BEFORE you go to the doctor for this, I would have all the paperwork signed by your husband, such as Durable POA, Healthcare POA, Living Will, etc. Get an Elder Law attorney to prepare the documents you need to act on his behalf. If he progresses, he may become incompetent and thus, not competent to sign legal documents.

Then I might consult with a neurologist who focuses on dementia.( If you need more support ask him if he can refer you to a family counselor.) They normally do an office exam first.. It involves a physical exam and oral questions. They may ask him to draw something too. They will also schedule an MRI.

In our case, the dementia was so pronounced, the neurologist diagnosed dementia in the initial visit. He didn't know what was causing it without more tests. He explained it to me and my loved one, but I don't know how much she understood. She never asked any questions about it and had little to say. We just referred to it as her memory problem. I suppose you could ask questions about details so the doctor can lay out the progression of the disease.

She had signed me as her POA and HCPOA years earlier, so everything was in order.

I hope others around here who have gone through this will post their experiences. This must be so difficult. I think you will get a lot of support here though.

Mthr was a little farther into the disease when doc made his formal diagnosis. He explained her diagnosis to us and her, and she sat there like we were talking about someone else. It never occurred to her that we were talking about her!

Absolutely have the Doc be the bad guy here. Depending on his level of dementia it's very hard to say how much he will understand and retain. By all means get POA and all legal stuff done while he is cooperating, assuming he is.