The doctors can't do anymore for mom's pain. How do I get her to accept this?

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My Mom has had several compression back fractures. Has severe osteoporosis and back pain. If she was younger and healthier she would require back surgery. But we have been to several surgeons and even when she was younger they said she wasn't a good candidate for surgery. She realizes she isn't, but wants them to do something else.

She's miserable. This isn't going to kill her, but there's no cure. I get tired of going around from doctor to doctor, who all say the same thing.

She doesn't like the one pain management doctor she went to, so she won't go to another one.

How can I convince her to accept that she has to live the rest of her life with this pain. Her doctors do tell her that, but not forcefully enough.

Answers 1 to 10 of 10
Top Answer
Have you tried taking her to see an acupuncturist? Since this method of healing has been around more than 5,000 yrs., trust me it is worth some visits. I have used acupuncture for various pain centers and it always works. I do not know of a single person (or patient) that does not find relief. Try it! More and more insurances are covering this alternative medicine, so check with them. Medicare still does not, but I found in Sun City, AZ a place that uses a sliding scale for payments. Those who can pay, pay between $15-$40.
People with osteoporosis SHOULD NOT be seeing a chiropractor because bones are brittle and can fracture. Pain meds like Percocet only mask symptoms and cause constipation which is not a good thing since all that backup (feces) will cause more pain, cramping, and bacteria growing in the impacted colon. Exercise as much as you can as weight-bearing exercise will release endorphins which will be better than any drugs. Yes, I have osteoporosis and I walk our dogs every day, and do not take any meds for pain because the exercise relaxes the muscles. Not carrying a lot of weight will help the back pain as well.
Maybe you could find a pain management Dr. who's a female. Sometimes that makes a difference.
KeepontryitM, all you can do is tell her. The doctors can tell her. But she will have to be the one to accept it. Being in that kind of pain constantly is horrendous. My husband lives with it every single minute. He doesn't like it but has accepted that it is what he lives with. He takes medication and had a nerve stimulator inserted near his spine. He has limited mobility, realizes it will get worse as he ages. It took him a long time to accept it.
Just keep working on your mother. If she doesn't see a counselor maybe you could suggest it? They should be able to help her get through her denial. But ultimately, it rests on her shoulders.
Also, you don't have to listen to constant complaining either. There's just so much you can do before she drives you bonkers. Limit her bitch sessions, walk away or change the subject. I really hope things ease up for you. Hang in there.
Sound like the doctor does not want to work with you. They can put in a pain pump-morphine. But tried going to an Pain Doctor because there is alot that they can do beside giving pain meds.
I second the recommendation for acupuncturre. My 92 yr old mother has undergone acpuncture to get relief from arthritis back pain. You should discuss with acupuncturist first. Not all pain responds to acpuncture.
I have the tens unit. You have Botox, nerve blocks, they can actually burn a tip of the nerve, so you are pain free. There is so much!!
As a nurse, I was trained that patients do not have to be in severe pain, chronically. The ideas listed above of acupuncture, TENS unit, etc. are good ones. It seems that finding the proper Dr is the key. You might have to go to a larger medical facility to find what you need. Starting with the Pain Management Dept. is a good place to start. It might mean a trip for you all, but I would "keep on tryin". Hopefully Mom will be a little more cooperative if she really wants to find some relief.
I have continuous back pain. I'm male, 76, and take 4 Percocets a day to very little relief from the meds. Sometimes I just have to bite the bullet on the pain and hope it relieves itself some of the time. Gets very bad at times. I DO NOT TRUST Chiropracters as my friend was permanently paralyzed by one in the past and lost control of his lower body limbs in the Chiros office during manipulations. So, I will NEVER go to a Chiropractor.
Oh my, my heart goes out to you both! I suffer from CHRONIC Migraines (daily from Nov. 21 to ...) Being shuffled from Dr. to Dr. is so frustrating! Been there. But you can not loose hope! I would look in the phone book or online and find another pain management specialist! My pain management Dr. found out I have hurt my neck and is going to treat me for that. So far, I am getting better!
The right Dr. is out there, you will find them. There is no sense your mom has to live in so much pain! Praying for you!

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