Doctor won't talk with me before appointment...writing a lot of concerns in hopes of discussion?

Question

Doctor won't talk with me before appointment...writing a lot of concerns in hopes of discussion?

Follow

Share

Dr. says he would rather talk with us both at appointment, Husband does that "showtime" thing and I always feel like, no matter what I bring up as to concerns, he comes out as "just fine." Will try writing first, but the husband seems to rule out anything I say, or... I hope the Dr. catches more than I think, but still need some discussion on things.

Alzheimer's & Dementia Geriatric Doctors Medical Care Signs of Dementia

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

5 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First

So much to check on, but it has to be done, thanks for all your thoughts, it is so nice to know there is someone out there that wants to help.
God Bless.

Helpful Answer (0)

Report

When my mom started acting wonky, I wrote a concise list of the things she was doing & took it to her Dr.’s office the day before her appointment & had the receptionist put it in her file. Appointment day, Dr. gave me a knowing look & mom was none the wiser. Dr. believed me, but It probably did help that it’s my Dr. also. We got a referral to a memory clinic that specializes in diagnosing Dementia & related issues.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

Thank you for that, about the list...as you can see in the next reply, I am going to do that.
This is so good for those of us that need these suggestions.

(0)

Report

Unfortunately, insurance causes a problem with this request. I know because I ran into it. I wanted to set up and appt to talk to my mom's MD without her and the only way they could do that is if they charge *me* and my insurance rather than hers. They were willing to post it as a consultation appt so my insurance would cover it, but in reality, I could have put my family's insurance at risk if it was deemed as fraud since the consultation wasn't about me. Luckily, the doctor who owns the center is MD for both of us and has gone through this as caregiver for 2 family members, so she understands showtiming and always is responsive to my concerns.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

So right that the insurance co. would not go for it, but I am going to write a list of things for the Dr. to see, in the hopes we will discus them at that time, plan to take it to the office the day before, sounds good to me.
Husband always gives me "that look" when I bring up something he does not want to tell the Dr., but we will never get anywhere that way, I have to speak up.

(0)

Report

You need to request a neuro workup. There are definitely ways with his own MD and the usual 15 minute appt. that a patient can confabulate well enough to pass for quite normal. But the neuro exam is something he will not pass if he has dementia. That is what you must insist on having. Do make a strong SHORT and concise list of things that are happening and the danger that is present. Ask for the referral. Be frank and honest in front of your husband. You should in fact be frank and honest with him right along. He won't agree with you, but you must gently tell him what you are seeing and why you are worried. Good luck. Hope you will update us. You must NOW begin on getting your husband to do the DPOA and the HIPPA papers and the other papers; all the "I have put my house in order" things need to be done including the POLST and what care he would want at end of life if he is unable to make decisions. You won't do this all in one day, but the referral for exam and diagnosis is step one.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

Thank you, I am beginning to get the list of things together and will be shortening it, I understand about being concise for that, and also will ask about the neuro workup, never heard anyone speak of this before, so I thank you for that.
I have all the paperwork needed for having" my house in order", and for his end of care paper work also, I sometimes think there is nothing wrong, but snap out of that quickly when he says or does something that I know isn't right. Thank goodness for this forum.

(0)

Report

Many medical practices have "Patient Portals" that you can use, on line to ask questions and inform the doctor of any problems or concerns.
You should be able to set this up easily and relay information to the doctor.
Using the Patient Portal is a much faster way to get info to the doctor.
You will need to be included in the HIPAA to get information. Make sure when you visit next that you are included as a person that information can be released to. Fully review the form and the information.

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

My partner and I have patient portals, but despite being medical POA for one another we cannot use one another's doctor portals unfortunately. I do think a call would get the best way to get preliminary information out. And if there is a trusted child I think it might help to have that person along for this appointment of theirs as well, as it is difficult to think of everything and it is difficult to hear everything in times like this.

(1)

Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Doctor won't talk with me before appointment...writing a lot of concerns in hopes of discussion?

5 Answers

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions