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He has had 2 blood transfusions. Dr says he can't do procedures on him he has had a previous stroke and has had a catheter for 5 years plus his dementia is getting worse. He was very confused today. He has been in the hospital 2 times in the past 10 days. Dr says bleeding will reoccur.

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Dear Fefeann - I went through something very similar with my mother. It got to the point where undergoing the diagnostic procedures to achieve a diagnosis were academic and possibly dangerous for her to undergo.

By that, I mean - once a diagnosis is rendered, the necessary cure (ie) drugs or surgery were not feasible as her heart would probably not have been able to withstand it - and would only hasten her death and make her final days more uncomfortable for her. Bless your heart.
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It sounds like your dad has a lot of medical issues that are beyond his body's ability to heal, even if he were a younger man. The recommendation for hospice sounds right on to me. And you sound like a wonderful, caring daughter who has treated both of your parents with all of the love and care they could hope for. Keep your dad comfortable and enjoy your remaining time with him. He's lucky to have you in his corner.
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Keep checking back with us, we are here to support you through this difficult time.
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I personally, am not one to give up without a fight. But acceptance, a second opinion, and help from hospice may be the gentle solution. People do not always die soon in hospice, sometimes with the better care they improve, some are discharged from hospice. Others die with the best care possible and are comfortable. The experienced nurses from hospice are good at recommendations, let them help you. Bless you, as you accept the answers to your prayers, and be thankful for your parents lives. You did well.
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The Dr is absolutely right. The preparation for any tests would be far too much for your Dad. Now is the time to just ensure he remains comfortable. You are doing the best possible thing for him so do not doubt yourself just love and support him.
Blessings for you and your Dad
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This brochure has some helpful information that might be useful. Page 23 starts addressing you issue.

avoidablecare/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Sharpe-Handbook-A-Caregivers-Guide-to-Advance-Dementia.pdf
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Oh, my. Those doubts are with most all of us. We love and care for our family and even though our BRAINS know we're doing right by them, our hearts whisper in our ears. We just don't want them to leave.

What WOULD be wrong would be to subject your tired old dad to all sorts of pokes and prods, uncomfortable procedures, etc etc while you tried to drown out that whisper. Hugs.
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Fregflyer, It's not that I'm not sure about the dr recommendation, I just want to know that I've done everything that is right for him. My Mom died last year, they had been married 66 yrs. She had Alzheimer's and a brain bleed. They went into the NH together, he misses her so much so I know he wants to go be with her.His health has declined so much this past year that I have prayed that God be merciful and take him on but now that his dr is saying he is ready for hospice I am questioning myself about have I donecenough for him.
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Fefeann, I'm sorry that you are facing this.
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Yes, the advice to put him on hospice care sounds right to me.
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fefeann, sounds like you aren't sure of the doctor's opinion.... could you have a 2nd opinion from another doctor?
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Dad is in a nursing home. He has had dementia for several years. The stroke left his right arm and hand paralized he has many other medical issues. Dr states that even the prep for colonoscopy and endoscopy would be too much for him. The virst blood loss was 40% of his blood. He is extremely weak.
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Is your father currently in the Hospital? What is his mental state? What are his other medical problems, besides the history of stroke?

I'm thinking that the doctor is thinking that the anesthesia she will need to administer to find the bleed will wreak havoc with dad's dementia and is not worth the risk of another stroke. Is it time to keep Dad comfortable and not treat any longer?
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Yes, it sounds right. He's 88 years old...his journey is close to over. Listen to his doctor. Doctors don't make that recommendation lightly. I'm so sorry for your family.
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