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My father is lashing out at me for "being behind" the doctor's order for him to stop driving.. He insists on going home (living alone as he has for the past 15 yrs. and should be able to drive). He complains about anything/everything thing I do for him, insults me terribly every day. He wouldn't survive long alone (he wouldn't remember to take his pills and wouldn't get his insulin shots right). I'm totally drained, depressed and frustrated and despite knowing that I'm doing all that's possible for him, I still feel guilty

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Ziggy,
How long has he been living with you? Not very long from the sounds of things. It will certainly be an adjustment for everybody in the home. Reassure him that you just want him safe and that the doctor made the decision. Naturally, he feels completely out of control, we all would.
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Men will grieve the loss of total control. How I wish we had easy going warm and fuzzy fathers. I am in the same boat as you. Do you have anyone else that can help you convince him to move or get some "in home" help?

Could you hire someone like visiting angels or another service to come by for half a day everyday to give meds, take him to appointments,etc?

Then, make sure to send a thank you note to the doctor for having the spine to tell him to stop driving. Most won't help in that regard.

Hang tough, you are not alone.
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As long as you are the one living there, you will be the only target your dad has. Can you get him to go to adult day care? Sometimes they provide transport. How about assisted living.

If neither of those is an option, I would simply walk out of the room, calmly, until he finishes ranting. It's the illness talking, not your dad.
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