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My mother has lived with me for 5 years. I am about at my wits end. I am looking for help to either place her in assisted living or get someone to come into the home. We went to a specialist to get evaluated for her memory loss and confusion. I waited almost 4 weeks for the test result. The nurse called me and just said she doesn't have dementia. Even though she continuously losses words in a conversation, Can no longer read a menu to order food, Can't remember how to sign her name, wanders around my house endless hours. I am at a loss of what to do now. Does anyone have some advice

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I'm experiencing that too, "Denial, and Lying". Ooops, the doc told me to say my mom is "Confused", but they be "Whoopers"...LOL.
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I agree with Perseverance. If she cannot get up by herself, then maybe she needs to sit there for awhile until it sinks in... That she has fallen. How can she deny she has fallen from the floor while looking up at you?
Kind of sad, but if you are letting her call all the shots instead of taking charge, everything will take longer requiring "proof" until she gives up. It's really very remarkable if you look at it from that perspective. They are trying to survive:( xo
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My parent's primary care physician stated this. I certainly disagree with him. He's an idiot. I try to get my parents to specialists to avoid this doctor.
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@alh8652 document every time she falls, and take a photo with your phone. That way you can show her when she denies it - and you can show her doctors.

Who picks her up when she falls? I had to call in the Paramedics when my Mom fell because she was utter deadweight.
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thank you to everyone. I does help to know that others are having the same and sometimes worse issues than me. I am having a home health service come evaluate her next week. The problem is she doesn't want help and so the fight is on to get some one to come in. She has fallen more times than I can count and thank god has not been seriously hurt YET. However, she told me she never falls
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I went through some of what your going through, and I saw, heard, and felt my mom changing over the yrs (now 86). She was being taken by scammers left and right, she totally ignored me, when I told her all the letters and phone calls were scammers. She'd send money to them anyway, it was as if they was her family and she didn't listen to us (her family). She would forget things, repeat questions 5 min later etc.... I talked to her doctors, neuropsychologist etc... they said she was fine. This went on for 3 to 4 years, then she got smart/sneaky and switched banks on me (I did her bills online, but every month hoped she left enough in the bank to pay her bills), stating she's taken her life back an I was a busy body, all in her business. Here it is this year the 4th year, I find out that w/the CT Scan she finally agreed too, she had a stroke at some time or another..and she's been diagnosed with Sckizophenia w/Paronoid Features and Demensia has a part in this.... So yes, you see it all and all the changes and the docs only saw my mom for less than an hr, and she's been a fantastic actress in front of them. My bro and I recently got guardianship of her, her license has been revoked and she angry at mostly me (I was the petitioner), and kept telling my family in different states what she does ie..telling her business as she puts it..So, she has physically attacked me twice last month and the first time was right in front of the judge, 2 lawyers, bro and a cop. As one of the people mension above on this site, it gets worst. And, you as I have to accept she's mom but she's not the mom you knew. I was advised 2yrs ago to grow a thick skin to deal w/what mom's going through. That was excellent advise to me because it's helped me tremendously. My bro and I are at the realization that we might have to look into a home for mom, but we've been desperately trying to confirm w/her wishes she made prior to getting sick...of staying at home.
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Does it really matter that she was not diagnosed with dementia? Either way, you need help caring for your Mom. Hiring a caretaker is helpful, but assisted living might be even better.
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Did your mom have to draw the numbers on a clock face? Was she given 3 words to remember, then asked to repeat them after a few minutes of conversation? Was she asked to write a simple sentence? To name as many animals (or other things) as she could? Were you and any other family members interviewed by the neuropsychologist?

All of these things happened for us when we took my mom to a Memory Center. She was interviewed extensively by the specialist (geriatric psychiatrist) and a social worker. My brother and I were interviewed as well, while my mother was getting weighed and measured, etc. We were given all the results within days.

Check with your local home health services. If you think your mom needs assistance, then she probably does. The home health people or your local council on aging can steer you to a reliable memory center or a doctor specializing in geriatric psychiatry so you can get a second opinion. Trust your gut instincts. You're just starting down the long, winding road of caring for someone with dementia. Keep us posted, and I wish you luck!
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How did your Mother do on the questions regarding who the President is, what year is it, names of her children, other info? Did she score 100% on those? When you told Dr about the menu confusion, what did he/she say? I hope you were involved in the evaluation and took part, otherwise, she could have charmed them so they thought she was fine.
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Did the nurse offer to make an appointment to discuss the result with the dr? I ask because when we took our mom to a neurologist for an evaluation, the receptionist told my sister the test results were all normal but made an appointment to talk with the dr. When we went, the dr. told us the brain scan showed no strokes and blood work was normal but his diagnosis was Alzheimer's. You could get a second opinion with another dr. I would see a regular neurologist not a neuropsychologist, at least someone who will do a memory test on her. There has to be a reason for her behavior.
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thank you for your response. It was a neuropsychologist.
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You say you took your mom to a specialist - was it a geriatric doctor or neurologist? A geriatric doctor specializes in elder care, and a neurologist specializes in brain functions. If I were you, I'd call these types of doctor offices and ask if they handle Alzheimer/Dementia patients - and if so - make an appointment with one of them. But just for your information, it doesn't take doctor's orders to place someone in assisted living or home health care as long as it is private pay. We placed my mother-in-law in Assisted Living without doctor's orders with no problems. If your mom has Medicare, it will require doctor's orders for home health care, but I believe Assisted Living isn't covered. Hopefully, someone else will come on here and help more with your question. But understand this - you know your mother better than the doctors do. If you believe she needs more help, keep seeking it. It's frustrating, but her problems will most probably continue to get worse - and then YOU will need more help. It may also be beneficial if you contact your local elder care services for advice and/or assistance. And I understand that you're about at your wit's end - caregiving is extremely hard by itself. So please come here and vent and ask any questions. The caregiving members here are very open and understanding and can be helpful with their advice and ideas. Good luck!!
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