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We have been getting home support in 3x a week. They come in the morning on mom's dialysis days to help her with personal care and meals, and back in the evening to help with meals and make sure mom is comfortable. They do quite a lot in a small amount of time, including some housework like dishes or bedmaking, and it's a huge help to me - I can now sleep in a bit on dialysis days (my morning personality is not suited to helping someone shower or clean their bottom!!), and I can plan evening activities knowing someone is there to make sure mom is safe and looked after.

We're in Canada. This is organized through the public health system, but the home support is operated by a private company that holds the contract with the government. How much you pay is based on your income - low income people would get a full subsidy for home support, for example. Mom has enough income that we are not subsidized, but honestly, I feel what we pay is pretty nominal ($40 per day), and consider us lucky to live where we do. For that, we get about an hour and a quarter's worth of home care per day - 45 minutes in the morning and a half hour in the evening. We could get up to 4 hours per day if we were assessed for needing that much. The down side of using "public" home support instead of going to a private company is that there is a rotating group of workers, and who we get when can be a little unpredictable.

I know these women - they are almost all women - don't make much money in comparison to the work they do. Minimum wage in my province is $11.35, and I'd be surprised if they make much more than that. I'd guess $12-15 at most. Lots of them seem to be single moms. We don't always get the same workers, but there are 2 regular ladies that mom and I both really like, and these 2 almost always do the morning the shifts (which are the longest and most physically intimate). The rest are workers we see occasionally, but we're getting to know them too.

So my question is - is it appropriate to tip home support workers during the holidays? And how much do you think would be appropriate? Would you differentiate between the workers who provide regular care and the ones who are there occasionally? Would it be more appropriate to give gifts? (I don't do holiday baking or crafts, so it would end up being store bought gifts.) I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on this!

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I hope Canadian members will answer you!

The agency that provided a PCP for my husband had strict rules forbidding workers from accepting money or gift from clients.
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I agree it would be best to check with the provider that you won't be breaking any rules. But I can't see their objecting too strongly to what my great aunt used to call "a note" tucked into a Christmas card - only you would have to do the same for each person or you'll be generating odious comparisons.

I gave our main caregivers a cute tree decoration and a stocking-filler type present for her little boy respectively - these went down well and cost next to nothing.

And you could leave a festive box of biscuits or a cake or a tin of candies in the kitchen for them to help themselves.

Your caregivers sound like real treasures, and that being so I'm sure what they'll appreciate most is the appreciation.
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Both of the caregivers I had for each of my parents got a nice gift. I knew enough about them to know what they like...the gift was personal.
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It's usually against the rules for them to accept any gifts but nobody will object to a small token of appreciation, I always just gave a Timmies card, nothing more than $20.
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There is a big difference between help provided by an outside agency to those you employ yourself. As others have said many agencies have rules about recieving gifts. But cookies or candy or flowers, plants, fruit etc would still be appropriate.
If the caregivers are your employees the sky is the limit depending on your financial situation.
The caregivers will have a good idea what you can afford having been in your home so whatever you decide will be appropriate. The equivalent of a weeks pay will be much appreciated, otherwise a nice gift of something you know they will like or even something you know a single Mom wants for her kids. Just make sure you are even handed whatever you choose to do.
When I was working for hospice our director opened all mail adressed to the nurses in case a family had sent money as a thank you gift. It is illegal to open other peoples mail so we objected strongly and she stopped. At the same time she would be right there when you collected your mail. One day I got a letter from one of the funeral homes. She stood right there as I opened it. So I looked at her and said"Why don't you read it to me L, I don't have my reading glasses" She grabbed it with great glee but found it to be a thank you note for how helpful I was when someone died at night. No folding green stuff fell out.
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When I had checked with the Agency that my Dad used for his caregivers, I asked if it was ok to give the caregivers a gift. They said it was ok.

The best thing I found, which was popular in my area, were gift cards from Target since there were many Target stores nearby where the caregivers lived.... and Target has such a large variety of retail items.
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Gosh, I never thought about whether it was ok with the agency. Isn't that funny that it's ok to tip the person who puts your meal down in front of you in a restaurant, but maybe not the person who does it in your own home, plus washes your private parts to boot!

I like the idea of gift cards. We don't have a Target here though. We do have a Walmart, but we personally don't support Walmart for a number of reasons. I guess (if we are allowed) cash would be more reasonable, because I wouldn't want to dictate where others can shop. Alternatively, I'm thinking about grocery store cards, because everyone needs to eat! My mom was a single mom herself, so we both know how tight things can get around Christmas.

Thanks for the input everyone!
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Oh my! Yes, indeed, the professional caregivers always get a substantial gift at Christmas. We have two now who I believe are angels in disguise. They have been the longest term caregivers and I know they appreciate a little extra at Christmas. My parents not only contribute some of their "pin" money, but we children do too. We give it in a Christmas card.
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Read your contract for any prohibitions. Otherwise, I usually tip on week's wages.
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our mom is in an [elegant] il facility, almost $4000 per month. policy there is a suggested $200 in an envelope to admin who distribute to their staff [evenly in fairness] who clean rooms and help serve meals. i imagine some give much more or much less.
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Give from the heart. Give what you think is appropriate. Give what you can afford.
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The caregivers that I personally employed I gave gifts to.
When I had an agency providing caregivers I also gave them a gift.
In both cases it was in the $25.00 range.
The people that came in from JourneyCare , the Hospice we were with were not permitted to receive gifts. If they do get a gift it is supposed to be turned in and that gift is then used for other purposes. (JourneyCare is a Non-Profit Hospice).
What I did do is write a note for each of them and it was sent to their workplace. I expressed how much they meant to me, how much I/we appreciated what they did and best of all I began to volunteer sort of my way of "giving back"

So check with the people that come in, ask if they can accept gifts if they can't they will tell you. And you can tell from the way they answer what is customary.
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My BIL is in a NH across the country. At Christmas time we send a box of candies and Target Gift cards to each of his care givers (5). We say it is from my BIL, they know better. They call us and thank us profoundly. As they tell us, we are the only family that does that. They do not make much and I am sure the Target cards help. It is our way of showing we care in that we cannot visit him. I call once a week and they give us good reports. A little caring goes a long way especially for the once who care for our families. It doesn't have to be much that you give, it is just that you do. Gift cards are the best way to go. Lower denominations help to prevent issues with gifting. I have never checked with the NH but then again sometimes it is easier to ask forgiveness rather than permission.
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Yes, there are some rules on gift giving, but during holidays gratefulness needs to be expressed. If I were in your shoes, I would offer the two morning helpers either a good gift (if you know what they like or need), or a gift card of $20-$30 inside a thank you card. I would offer the others small token gift of $5-10, not cash.
They are your 'sanity support' and I that needs to be honored.
Happy Holidays!
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Check with the Provider and ask what their policy is. Make sure you let them know what a great job your workers are doing. Most agencies have policies against aides accepting anything from the consumer or their families but have a reward program internally.
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My mom has had some wonderful and caring home aides and I make sure I show my gratitude by giving each $100.00 each Christmas. During the regular year, I also give them little thank you gifts. It is really difficult to find good aides and once you find one, make sure you do everything in your power to keep them.
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Gas cards are another possibility, everyone can use them. I gave my housekeeper $100 gift card last year ad she took 20 of her family to the casino for breakfast. She also spent hours cleaning one of my rentals and when I offered to pay her she refused. I told her if she did not take it I would never feel able to ask her to help me with something again. She did take it but told me if i did not ask another favor she would suck me up in her vacuum cleaner.
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I worked Elder Care, and yes, the wages were kind of a joke....minimum wage and no raises----hence a HUGE turnover in employees. My client's family found out how little I made and tipped me out MONTHLY. They worked it out privately with my company--but they almost doubled my "take home" pay. My client gave me a $100 bill and a sweet note on Christmas and my birthday.

Honestly, for me? A little "trinket" would have been pointless and useless to me. I appreciated the cards the family gave me, and the many, many thanks better than a tree ornament or some such thing.

DO check with the company--I know mine was "opposed" to tips, but turned a blind eye if you got one.
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skyfall, is your mom in the US? My mom is in AL ($5500 a month!) and I have been under the impression that monetary gifts are not allowed. Shall I check with the admin? thanks!
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We've had the same person come three hours three times a week. The agency is paid $22.00 per hour, she receives
$11+. We give her $100. at Christmas. I do give her a gift
on her birthday and other smaller things on occasion.
She's a single mother and does appreciate being thought of.
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I'm on the other side of the coin - pardon the pun. My main client is well-heeled (I manage her life overall) and have been a dedicated care manager for almost three years. One Christmas/holiday time, I wanted to 'thank her' for providing me stable work-income and (1) invited her to a symphony, a little dinner before, an autographed book (mystery I knew she'd love), and a beautiful card of a stained glass image which she kept on her window for months after the holidays. What did I get? Not even a "Merry Christmas" Nada Nothing. I think I even gave her (and her visiting sister) a bottle of sparking apple juice. She resides in a retirement development with a 'no tipping rule' except at the end of the year (they pool all tips for cooks, aids, housekeeping, etc. (of course, not me as an ind contractor). Lesson here to me: expect the unexpected or (try to maintain a 'no expectation' consciousness - more of the time than not.
WHAT I'D DO IF IN YOUR SHOES: (1) if tipping not allowed, buy a gift or gift card for their child(ren) somewhere. Target, toy store, book store; (2) if tipping allowed, let your heart lead the way. Honest, caring carers are gems of gold. Commitment, hard work, and compassion are invaluable. Thank them anyway you feel is appropriate; (3) we know that rules are rules and folded green thank yous are often provided regardless. I cannot give the maintenance crew any thank yous at the end of the year where I live (ind senior living). I wanted to give one of the two a bottle of Tequila and he said he could not take it. I said "okay, I'll just leave it here by the door and walk away." I never saw it again. Cheers.
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Hi, Dorianne!

Thank you for posting your question. I am also from Canada and I did not know what to do at Xmas with the nurse that takes care of my husband's problem and the man that showers him. I had not thought about gift cards but that's an excellent idea. I'll give each of them an Amazon gift card so they can use it to buy whatever they may like. I don't like to give cash as it seems so ...diminishing.

Best wishes to you and your mother and may your holyday season be peaceful and serene. That's all I ask and hope also for mine.
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Two thoughts on this.

When I was a single mother caring for other people's children the best gift was cash. Although gift cards are nice, they limit you to one store (unless you buy a 'Mall' card), the item purchased is often a bit more or less than the gift card value, so I would have to top up, or not get the full value. Boxes of chocolates are immediately regifted, I do not want them.

Cash can be used to pay an utility bill or be tucked away for a rainy day.

Another nice thing was being taken out to lunch or dinner (nothing fancy) by the family. Or having a lunch left for me (I prepared lunch for the children and dinner for the family).

How to allocate the money between workers? I love math, I would add up the hours for each care giver over the next month. The top two would get something over and above, the others, as you may not see them on gift day, I would do a total cash gift and ask the agency to distribute it.

If you disregard that the shifts are different lengths, and just assign $10.00 per shift for the next 4 weeks, you would be dividing $240.00 between the workers based on # shifts worked. Of course you can use any $ amount per shift. You can give the regulars something extra to recognize their additional contributions.

Depending on where you live you could give tickets for the care giver to take her family to a special Christmas event. In Victoria, Butchart Garden's Christmas lights are beautiful, but make sure you give extra to cover the cost of hot chocolate and a treat. Vancouver has the new Christmas Lights, and I believe Grouse Mountain has a Christmas event too now. I am sure in your community there are similar events.
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I live in the U.S. When we had aides coming to take care of my dad, we gave each aide who worked 35 hrs a week $200. Note: we had the same aides for more than a year. Not allowed by agency , but they took such good care of my dad, we felt their kindness and hard work should be recognized. Now my mother is in a memory unit which costs $9,000 per month. I slip $20 to her morning and evening aides periodically. My mom is difficult so those two ladies will discreetly receive $ in a holiday card. I learned the hard way last year that you aren't allowed to give money directly. We are also giving $300 to admin to distribute to staff (I know her 2 main aides will get some of that but trust me they are worth it!) They all take such good care of my mom.
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I think there is a huge difference between what is appropriate for someone privately contracted or full time vs someone who is employed by an agency, and in Canada agency caregivers, while not at the top of the pay scale, are usually compensated a little bit better than many in the USA seem to be. In my experience agencies and facilities have a very strict zero tipping/gifts policy, some administrators take it to the extreme (sister's boss made her throw away a cookie a resident gave her 🙄), but most accept that some gifting goes on and they will turn a blind eye as long as it is moderate and discrete.
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Thanks for asking this question. Appreciate hearing both from those who employ caregivers and the caregivers themselves. We live in the US in the Midwest. I pay our caregiver directly more than her agency. Also give her Christmas and birthday presents. Last year I think it was $100 cash, but I have also done Target gift cards. Helps to know where they shop. Not all people do online shopping, which is the danger of giving Amazon. I also give a small gift of something I know they can use. They may be diabetic, allergic to nuts, or glucose intolerant but like wine. Of course, she has been with us for awhile, so I know these things. I like the idea of taking them out to a special lunch/dinner.
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I would agree that you should check with the agency first to see what is allowed. The reasons they are usually forbidden to accept gifts is because in some memory care cases, people forget about the gifts and caregivers may get in trouble.
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I think that would be up to you. You would also want to call the agency the person works for and ask about their rules on gifting
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I think it is very important to acknowledge the important work these women are doing for you. I give gift certificates, money or something else I think they might like and a card to tell them how much they are appreciated.
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Dorianne, I am also in the same position as you. We live in BC Canada & get homecare every night & Monday mornings are shower days. I live with my mother (in childhood home) we use to have both AM & PM Care, but knowing how short they were on workers in the summer I dropped mornings except for Monday’s. We have different ladies that come in as they always rotate their shifts, but we do get the regular ones that mom & I like also.
We have a Head Nurse/Worker that arranges the Home care & anything else we need my suggestion would to be call your person/Worker & ask her what is acceptable. I am going to do that myself. We are totally subsidized as my mothers income is low. I do bake so I might make just make cookies. As a 24/7 caregiver it does get tough. I do appreciate whatever help I get with our homecare & right now they don’t do as much as Your mom’s people but in all I still appreciate them very much. I have also noticed some are single mothers.
Hope I was of some help. If you ever need to chat message me please anytime.
Cheers GailMarie
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