Do you think it's normal or common for siblings to be estranged as we creep into the Decembers of our lives?

In adulthood my sister and I always lived across country from each other, but it felt to be a very close relationship, as we talked at least weekly and visited each other often. The entire family, in fact, felt close I think because my sister held us that way. When she and our dad died the same year our family was truly lost. I think my brother and I, who live in the same county, talk only because of taking care of our mom. Our children barely know each other now, when they were once great pals. Because family has always been important to me I too feel strange without them, but reaching out doesn't ever bring them in. I still stay very close to my sons and grandsons, but family seems so much smaller than before.

Gershun,

I don’t know if the fracturing of families is the trend or the norm. I can say from experience that when the common bond (the last parent) is gone the bond that holds the dysfunctional family together is gone also.

I have one deceased sister and one living sister. A few months ago I had the last conversation I will ever have with my living sister. She is toxic. She destroys everyone and everything in her path. I chose to no longer let her existence weigh on my heart and mind.

My DH is one of 6 siblings. They all got along really well.

MIL died in 1999. Small cracks started to appear in that family foundation as the oldest sibling(sister) starting posturing herself as the family matriarch. Needless to say the other siblings just ignored her attempts.

Fast forward to 2015. FIL dies. Things went “okay” for a few months until some things were questioned as to the Estate was being handled.

Yes, the oldest, posturing sibling was one of the Co Executors. When she was questioned everything hit the fan. This person acted way outside the boundaries of the Will and her authority. She refuses to correct the biggest mistake she made. Now there is a Lawsuit. Over four years after FILs death the Estate is still open and DHs family is in shambles.

There does come a time in our lives that we must protect our mental and physical health from harm. This is especially hard when we have to protect ourselves from our own siblings. In my case anyway.

I have heard or read that “what other people think of me is none of my business”.

I try to lead a good life. I strive to be fair, honest, responsible, dependable and compassionate. If the way I lead my life doesn’t sit well with my sibling or DHs siblings, well, it’s just no longer a concern for me.