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What would you do if your mother was scheduled to be bathed by a new caregiver? When introduced, she stared at her as if she was in a trance. I should have expected this because she hadn't responded to me earlier. She is 91 years old, and most of the time she is confused. She goes into a rage when she's angry and at times refuses to eat or get changed. It was a judgement call .So I informed the caregiver that I did not think it was a good time. Not sure if I made the right decision, but in the state she was in, I didn't know how she would react to a stranger, especially one trying to give her a bath. She has become hostile in the past,,yelling and raising her tiny fists, when I attempted to change her.This is all very new to me. Do you think I made the right decision?

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Have you tried using the adult no rinse disposable washcloths? I was advised by a professional that it is not necessary to bathe the elderly more than once a week because they are not that active and their skin is very sensitive. She also said that it is perfectly fine to use the adult no rinse wipes...one day wash the upper body....the next day or day after wash the lower body. Always allow for the person to have their dignity when bathing as they tend to be very modest and sensitive to being nude around others, even their daughters. Cover her with a towel as you are cleaning her underneath it. Instruct caregivers to do the same. It is very important to the elderly to have control especially when their body or mind is failing them. I hope this helps you.
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Maggie, I'm sorry, I wasn't challenging you, just wondering as to your thoughts on an approach to this problem. Your right, TODAY wasn't a good day... though I suspect tomorrow may not be a good day either, so I was trying caution overextend to the likelihood of that possibility in the days ahead.
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Oh, I agree with you there, Scadvice. I didn't mean to imply that she never gets another bath...I don't think that's what the poster was inferring...just that TODAY wasn't a good day.
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So, Maggie how is she going to solve this problem going forward?

At some given time her mother is going to have to accept the care. I would suggest yes let her say no this time... but tell her that she will need to cooperate next time. Your going to have to pick your battles unfortunately, and be strategic about when you relent and when you don't. Once a bath or some other care act is in place be very cautious about letting her say no or you will have to battle all over again..
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Yes, I think you did. Why? Because you know your mom better than anyone on Planet Earth. Try not to second-guess yourself. Just know that you're making your decisions from a good place...make them...and don't look back.
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