I saw a post on this site recently where someone said that their elderly mother said she didn't want to be a burden to anyone and would go into a nursing home. My mother has told me a few times that she does not want to go into a nursing home. Quite honestly, I don't think Mom would last in a nursing home -- either she would elect to die or she would walk out (like her brother did) and they would say she can't come back. We do have an agency coming to her home to care for her at night. She does give the new caregivers a hard time because she doesn't want them doing certain personal things (like help with toileting). She doesn't mind me helping her, though.... Last night, when she said she didn't want to go into a nursing home, I explained to her that we have someone coming in to help take care of her so that she (hopefully) won't have to go into a home, but that she had to let the aides at night help her. As I have mentioned in other posts, she is 94 and has progressive aphasia. That does not affect her intellect. Yes, there are times where she seems confused, but for the most part she knows what is going on (even with her speech). I don't see a reason to keep anything to do with a nursing home from her. I would rather be honest, whether or not she understands. One of my brothers, though, thinks we should not talk about those things in front of her. Seems to me that it would be more traumatic if you just pack up you parent one day and move them. Granted if they are unaware, it may not matter. What are your feelings about that?