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My husband may be looking at going to an ALF or mental health hospital soon. We're not rich, but have acquired 4 homes in 22 years of marriage. 2 were inherited and promised to go to our daughter, the other 2 we live in. He draws too much for Medicaid and only has medicare. I have cancer, but am stable so far. We don't want to sell everything we struggled to get and hold on to in hopes of helping our daughter financially upon our deaths and honor the wishes of those that left us their homes and properties for her. How will we pay for something like this? Since I wont be the one going into an ALF how does that affect me financially? We have always had joint accounts and I can't afford to live month to month on what I draw (under $700). Please help!! I DON'T know what to do at this point and am getting frazzled at best.

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Original question - do you have to sell? No, you don't have to sell any of your property. And the federal and state governments that administer Medicaid assistance don't have to find you qualified for any government assistance because you have too much in assets. State Medicaid programs will exempt ONE (1) home for an individual or couple. You are fortunate enough to have 3 without encumbrance and 1 with life estate for aunt. In the eyes of the Federal and State government, you have the means to pay your own and husband's way for care. The fact that you want to hold onto assets for your and your daughter's use doesn't make the Federal or State government more inclined to give you taxpayer funded benefits. Painful, but many of us with life altering conditions face choices of spending money we want to save - my mother's legacy spent on credit card bills instead of being saved for my disabled son (I am a 2 time cancer survivor and we make too much money for any state programs with only 1 house).
There is a circumstance in which you could be forced to sell property. If your husband is found incompetent and the court assigns a guardian other than YOU, in which case the guardian decides what happens to assets owned fully or jointly by your husband. Court guardians are not required to make the same provisions for spousal support that Medicaid is under the law. You would be well-served to get a lawyer to protect the interests of yourself and your husband. You need one that is certified with Medicaid, Medicare (if you are disabled at some point that program will cover you), and disability law. I am really sorry that you are struggling to figure out how to pay for your own care and leave something for your 20 year old daughter. The sad truth is that with the advances in medicine and the costs of treatment, most of us especially if we have a disability will outlive our resources and not have any inheritance to leave family unless we protect it legally in a trust 5 years in advance. And you don't have that option any more. Find a good lawyer, today if you can.
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You need professional advice. There are too many significant factors at work here for you to hope to find a solution on your own.

Your husband's mental capacity.
Your husband's ongoing care needs.
Your own prognosis and care needs.
Any existing restrictions on what may be done with parts of the property.
Managing your income, jointly and individually.

You say there has already been judicial input into this: is your husband the subject of a guardianship order? And what legal advice have you had so far?
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I would pay to have a consult with a good elder care attorney who can guide you in estate planning, etc.

While it’s nice to want to leave your children an inheritance of some sort, it may not be reasonable to expect it as someone has to pay for Long Term care. Generally Assisted living is not paid by insurance and is paid from the family’s bank account.

In other words, you may have to sell one of your homes to pay out of pocket for hubby’s assisted living fees.

You describe the 2 Homes you inherited as older homes that need a lot of work. Would your 20 y/o want to deal with all that?

No government funded source (Medicaid) will pay assisted living fees (although I have learned from this site that an AL might do this after a period of private pay ie 18 months). Medicare will not. Do you have long term care insurance? If so this may help to pay some of AL costs.

If you need Medicaid you will have to spend down your spouse’s income although there are provisions made for the spouse not to be impoverished.

It may be easier going forward to begin to accept that you may have to sell a few of your properties and that your children may not get as large an inheritance as you may have wanted.

A good thing is that you have assets that can be sold to pay for your spouses care.

Good luck to you!
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Sendhelp my husbands aunt has a life estate in one of the 2 houses, but she doesn't live there now. I don't know how to contact her for that matter either, so we cant rent that house out. The agreement was that she could live there (or not) as long as she lives without any interference from us and upon her and our deaths its to go to our daughter. If memory serves I think that's even how it was written up in the deed. The other house cant be rented either. It needs new plumbing, wiring, heating, etc and we simply don't have the money to do it. The house is structurally sound and a metal roof was put on in 2004, so theres no problems there. We had planned on fixing the house after his parents passed, but they died 2 months apart and we had to pay for their funeral expenses and that depleted our savings. A few months later he was injured on the job (disc ruptured in neck near brain stem) and was put off on disability. A couple yrs after that I was in a really bad car accident that rendered me disabled. then 2015 I was diagnosed with a rare malignant eye cancer, now this with him. We just haven't been able to save back up like we did when we were working. Its just so hard to figure out how to navigate all of this stuff legally, keep something you worked so hard to pass on to your child, and not end up homeless and hungry yourself.
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geewiz that's part of my problem, for a lack of better words. My husband was admitted to a mental health facility in Aug, released in Sept. and due to the judge in the court at the facility he's not allowed to come back home and decided he wanted his check in another account, but I am to make sure to pay his bills, etc. So to protect myself in the event of him having a manic episode or whatever, I had my check put into a separate account. He has moments of clarity and then confusion and even delusions. If I mention anything about selling property, etc he gets very angry and agitated- he refuses and I do understand why, BUT he also doesn't realize this is what his drs have discussed doing. In order to honor his parents and grandparents wishes I suggested we go on and give the properties he and I aren't living in to our daughter, he says no shes not mature enough and cant afford the taxes or whatever. She is 20, works part time, has a car payment, etc. but I simply don't know what else to do or suggest or remotely prepare for what seems like the inevitable.
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If the two extra homes were meant for daughter, they should be in a trust for that purpose.
They could be rented out with income going into the trust.
See an elder law attorney for financial planning and estate planning. Don't wait.

"The doctors" are not in charge of your income and assets!
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No way !Look into privately owned assisted liveing !Even today there are lots of assisted liveing that will not seize assets just dig deep.you can find assisted liveing In Manteno ,Il that's about 2500.00 maybe more look into it GOOD LUCK
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Angela check your state's website for Medicaid rules. States vary on how they handle joint assets and property. Most states try not to impoverish the non facility spouse. Having said that --- it is expected that you would use your assets and income to pay for the services provided by ALF/Mental health. Medicaid is reserved for those who truly are indigent and have no resources to pay for services. It sounds like you and your husband are fortunate enough to have assets to pay for services for some time.
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