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Well I guess by now you know I was the one asking about something to cook in the kitchen to make the house smell good for some church ladies that wanted to visit my mom(we have 8 dogs in the house).Well I got through it but I got to thinking those women were at first just going to drop by. I don't need this. Taking care of mom is full time and no the house isn't always "visitor" clean but at least mom is clean and sometimes that is all the strength I have. What do you do with these people? They mean well but it is also a small town and I know every detail of my house has now probably spread across the county.I have offered, and I mean it, to take these women and my mother any where they want to eat and I will pay for it but no more house visits. I don't know if I am being selfish, I don't want to hold mom prisoner but these house cleanups for someone who just wants to show up ,I can't deal with this.Between her and the 8 dogs ,I am just not Martha Stewart.Would appreciate feedback on what to do with these "visits"

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Tonight I have to add that I am finally, after 55 long years realizing one of the reasons I am in the shape in which I now find myself is taking crap off of too many people for far too long for the sake of keeping the peace and not being rude or offensive....they never minded being rude or offensive to me my entire life..now they want to pretend they give a damn...I'm not buying any of it.
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Oh...oh...oh....oh...oh.....oh.....anyone who knows me knows this is THE one thing that almost makes me homicidal.....I DESPISE drop in company....DESPISE IT....Mama is totally immobile, so there is no being able to go somewhere to meet folks. I have flat out told the bozos to call first and it does not work...I think half of them are getting dementia as well, so they don't even remember what you tell them. I have honestly gotten to where if I see them coming and I did not know they were coming I pull the blinds and lock the doors and that is that...they weren't invited, I don't want them here...period....while I do probably worry too much about the condition my home may be in, I still do not think it is MY problem when folks are so blasted rude as to just pop in for a "visit"...Mama doesn't visit anymore...she rarely speaks...she enjoys visits with her family, and those are about the only ones she recognizes...All of the family who does visit calls first so I have no problem with them..it is all the other nimrods who I know their sole agenda is to pry and snoop...they had ample opportunity to visit with my Mom for over forty years and never bothered to stop and say hello to her on their many trips to shop, headed to the casino, out to lunch, wherever...went right past her street and never bothered to see her...when she would actually have enjoyed their visits.....to hell with them all.
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You know what? you worry too much.I know we all want to be Martha Stewart when company comes but that's not real life.
My hubby and I worked as caretakers/animal companions for many years.What you think you see when you visit even a posh house isn't really how they live.
Everyone has a stinky house at some point, everyone has dishes in the sink, dust under the funiture etc. Some have housekeepers most of us don't so we can't hide "living" in our homes as well as some.
Besides if we are aren't worth gossiping about it means we're not interesting!
You know the ladies may be coming because they have nothing to do or want to help. They may not be judging you, they might actually be enjoying your home and their visits BECAUSE of the relaxed environment.
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Sometimes I will overintellectualize with unwelcome visitors, asking about what I think will be esoteric subjects to them. Some, e.g.,:

1. Do they think the DMCA has really been effective in reducing intellectual property abuses, and if not, what would they recommend, particularly to combat Chinese IP abuse.

2. Why or why don't they think the Chinese will present a military threat by 2050?

3. If either of those don't work, ask them to help you understand the operation of the Higgs Boson, or black holes.

Try to keep a straight face when throwing out these challenges.

Or you could just try Pam's suggestions, which brought a hearty laugh from me as I read them.

Alternately, tell them that the dogs just LOVE company and ask if they mind holding the dogs in their laps. This works especially well if it's been raining and the dogs smell like, well, like wet dogs.

You could also hand out surgical masks and explain that you have some kind of respiratory infection and aren't sure if it's contagious.

Seriously, no one has to accept visitors who invite themselves over.

I think as I wrote elsewhere that this is a woman thing; men wouldn't hesitate to just tell someone it's not a good time to come over and then take control of the situation by suggesting an alternate time more convenient to the host.

I'm not dismissing your concerns but just trying to encourage you to take control of the situation and establish your own parameters for visits.
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Is it possible ask them to call first, citing something like Mom may not be up to visitors that day or may be resting or may have a doctor's appt?
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Can you just take your mom to them - meet them at the church? Then you don't have to buy any food for them, LOL.

Or have them when you can put them outside, now that the weather is better (at least here in Chicago it is). Not sure if it would be too hot where you are. I think you need to do what is best for you and your mom, not them. And if they don't get that, they're not worth worrying about.
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Yes ,she is happy to see them but she isn't the one that is doing the housecleaning.My 6 dogs were all well housebroken before she moved in with her 2 but it is mostly marking accidents now.I have to vacuum everyday because of the hair but sometimes I can't always do this as just this last week I had to take mother to MD appts. 4 times at 80 mile round trips and I am worn out when we get home. I get her fed and to bed and then crash out myself.Also with 8 dogs I am not taking the chance someone decides one of the dogs bit or scratched them and the next thing I know I am being sued.
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Hi, Tex would you like to hire housecleaning for once week or every other weeks? Or just you don't want have visitors? Would be nice to have chat with outside peoples? Or tell them " call first before drop by". Is your Mom happy to see them?
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LOL Pam is right!! Next time it's out to lunch or no lunch at all!
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Open a jar of limburger and let it waft across the room. Cough a lot. Go to the bathroom and make gagging sounds. Tell them you have a raging fever. Tell them you would love some pie, but you have diarrhea really bad. Then go to your room, shut the door and try not to laugh. Take a nap.
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