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Death seems to be a trigger word for our family, including aging parents and siblings. Anyone else experiencing this? I'm wondering we should talk about legacy instead of death or if there was a more effective way to ease into end of life talk and instead talk about what kind of legacy mom and dad want to leave...???

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Possibly with the ongoing retirement of the baby boomer generation, we might change some from a death denying, youth oriented society to a death accepting, respectful society.

I realize that is a lot to hope for, but some sort of change will need to take place with the largest retiring generation of older folks that this country has ever seen taking place over the next two decades. The first baby boomers born in 1946 retired in 2011. The last baby boomers born in 1964 will retire in 2029.

I think it is very good to be able to talk about death from a spiritual perspective.
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I'm not really sure what the question is meaning. The word death is uncomfortable for many people, particularly when it is their own death being discussed. Death is a personal thing that each person will have to go through at one point in their lives. How to talk about it depends on the person. If they would find discussions of "death" uncomfortable, it is fine to talk about legacy, I guess. I do have to admit I can't find much to discuss with legacy in my own family. That may be true for many people who were born, lived, and died. Their living legacy is their children. I agree with what cmag wrote, the legacy of some will be noble. The legacy of others may be best interred with the bones.

Personally I prefer talking about death in a more spiritual way -- a crossing over from one plane of existence to another.
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This smacks of an attempt to insert another "politically correct" term into our vocabulary. We don't have funerals any more, we have "celebrations of life". We aren't disable, we are "challenged". I'm all for calling something what it is. Death is real, death will visit us all. Our society would prefer to hide the ill and dying away in hospice facilities and nursing homes, it's no wonder so many people don't know how to talk about it. Your parents know they are old and their time here is short. Just ask them if they have planned their funeral etc. How they are remembered, their legacy, will be up to you.
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I guess it depends upon the legacy the person has created after a lifetime of living?

For some, this would surely be a very positive experience because their parents are leaving such a great legacy of a life well lived even with their mistakes.

However, for others whose parents are leaving behind a legacy of abuse from childhood into adulthood, I don't think there would be a whole lot to talk about.

Developmentally, older people do this either internally or externally in reviewing life. .

Some are like my dad who looks back over his 89 years of life with few regrets and a general feeling of satisfaction. The one thing that still bothers him is why did my mother divorce him. No one really knows but her, and she is dead without ever telling anyone why she divorced him. Overall, he feels that he has lived a meaningful life and made valuable contributions to society which he has. He seems to have no apprehensions about death and dying.

Others, are like two sisters that I met in a nursing home once who were full of bitterness and despair. They had spent their entire life at home with their parents while everyone else in the family went out and developed their own lives. Their parents had promised them the house and the family farm if they continued living at home. They did, but after their parents died, they found themselves old and all alone. Having the house and the farm did not mean much by then. They felt like they had wasted their lives and had a long list of regrets.
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