I would like to hear some helpful thoughts on how to respond when an elderly family member you are caring for says things that are hurtful. These criticisms seem to be an unconscious attempt to drive me and other family members away. This person has been dealing with chronic pain, has been for years and is frustrated with life in general. What is the best way to respond when hurtful words are being used? Do we, as caregivers, have a responsibility to turn their negativity around and make life enjoyable again, or do we let them wallow in despair as they subconsciously drive us away?