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My grandfather passed away two years and left my uncle as POA for his will. His wife (my grandmother) is still alive. My mother lives with her and cares for her.


My mother’s home is owned by my grandfather, now my grandmother but she has lived in it for 25 years. My uncle (POA) threatens my mother constantly and holds the POA over her head to get her to do what he wants. He threatens to change her locks if she tries to leave my grandmother for the weekend.


Do we have grounds to contest the POA? He is abusing his power and I believe she should be paid for the care she provides my grandmother.

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Your mother has been living in her parents' home for the last 25 years, but her parents did not appoint her to act for them and did not specify in their respective POA documents that she should receive any financial compensation for care and support she might provide for them.

Do you happen to know what happens to the house under the terms in the grandparents' wills?

The thing is, your uncle isn't abusing his POA so much, he's abusing your mother. His duty is to act in your grandmother's best interests, and as she has dementia then he has to manage her money efficiently and properly and ensure that her care needs are met. He has no duty at all to treat your mother sympathetically.

Do the two of them agree on what your grandmother's care needs are?
Is there any dispute about what will become of your grandparents' property in due course?
Does or did your mother have a life outside her parents' home?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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AliciainDC Jan 26, 2019
Let me clarify, she lives in her own home that her father (my grandfather) bought for her 25 years ago. She lived independently until she had to start taking care of my grandparents. She goes to work everyday, in a full-time professional job.

My Uncle is holding the house over her head bc she doesn’t own it; however it is being left to her in the Will. If she attempts to leave my grandmother for a weekend, he threatens to change the locks. This to me seems like abuse of the POA.
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So, maybe mom needs to leave? She's being abused by Uncle. If she continues to give in to his bullying tactics, shes stuck.

She need a break. Can you take her on a short vacation? POA Uncle is responsible for grandma's care.

Finding out what this all costs at private pay rates might be just the wake up call he needs.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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AliciainDC Jan 26, 2019
She feels very guilty leaving because he threatens her. For example, he said if she leaves he will change the locks on her house.

I think she just has to stand up to him and yes, showing him the costs is a good idea.

Thank you!
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POA is not given in a will. Thats an Executor. Once an Executor follows the wishes of the person his job is done.

Did Grandmom assign Uncle as POA? Grandpa cannot give POA to anyone for someone else in a will.

I would ask to see a POA where Mom assigned Uncle. It should have been drawn up by a lawyer, witnessed and notarized. If you can find the lawyer who drew it up you could take it up with him.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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AliciainDC Jan 24, 2019
Yes, they both gave him POA.
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A power of attorney is only good for the person who is alive and needs care. Once they pass away, someone who deals with the estate is an executor. The house should pass to your grandmother. If she is competent, she can choose her own POA to oversee her affairs and a new executor if she chooses. She can also change who is acting as the POA.

Sounds like it is very important to consult an attorney to straighten things out.
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Reply to Mincemeat
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AliciainDC Jan 24, 2019
Yes, I agree about the attorney but my Uncle will not give my mother a copy of the Will or tell her who the attorney is.
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Is your uncle POA for your grandmother as well? Is grandma competent?
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Reply to againx100
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AliciainDC Jan 24, 2019
Yes he is POA for her as well. She will only go along with what my grandfather wanted. At this point grandma has pretty bad dementia and shouldn’t be changing any documents.
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