Do we give a bonus to our 4 caregivers after my Mom passed away?

When money is a concern, and I don’t see how it wouldn’t be after paying so much for so long, I think it would be nice to write a card of thanks to each and include a gift card to a restaurant or perhaps a place you know each enjoys shopping. And I’m truly sorry for your loss

Lmhcreativecare, my Dad had two regular scheduled caregivers for over a year, and when he passed, I sent them a thank you card and each a check.

When Christmas rolled around a couple months later, I found some nice holiday cards that reflected thanks for the great work they did. Without those two wonderful ladies, I would have been totally lost.

Lmh- For me, it's not the amount of money or the gift, but a thoughtful thank you card with sincere thanks for their help would mean so much more. If they need a reference letter for their next job, you can write a glowy one for them, or if they work for an agency, a letter to their boss telling him/her what a great job they did for your family.

As for gift, I would lean towards money, in whatever amount you feel comfortable giving, unless you know what things they like or need and want to give them those. If you can't give them as much as you want, tell them that. They will understand and appreciate your thoughtful gifts.

To add to my comments earlier, when I decided to quit my full time job to work at home part time and be home full time for my daughter, I had to let the nanny go, I gave her one month salary. My logic was that it would take her a few weeks to find the next job, so a month worth of salary would help her with expenses until her next paycheck.

Polarbear makes a good point. If agency aides, I would not give them a severance pay, but if private maybe a weeks pay. Even private aides know they could lose their job anytime.

I think $1OO/150 giftcard would be nice. A nice night out for family. If they are agency nurses I would send a letter for ea aide to the boss saying how grateful you are with care given. Giving the good points of each one. If private, a good reference.

Once probate is done, then u can decide if you want to give a monetary gift.

LMHCreative Care, remember that you can't make discretionary disbursements until ALL the expenses of last illness are paid.

No

Walmart Gift card

Cash is a better than a gift card. They might need the money to pay bills.

Pay what you can afford. (Don’t put yourself in a tough situation).

A large percentage of gift cards are never redeemed.

If you can give them something that would be very kind. (More later)
If they are working for an agency PLEASE send a letter to the agency telling them how much you valued the caregiver and what "Susan" did to make things easier on you. Do this for "Betty", "Abigail" and "Sam" also.
If they worked privately give each of them the same type of letter that they can use when being interviewed by another family, or they could use if they were to go to work for an agency.
Now to the little something.
Most companies will not allow an employee to accept a gift that is over $25.00. That said cash of $25.00 would be fine or a gift card (cut your cost some places you can buy gift cards at a discount Costco often sells $100.00 gift cards for under $80.00) And as you go through the house if there are any little trinkets that might mean something to each of the care givers you could offer as a remembrance, a book she loved, a pretty scarf you get the idea. If they do not accept the item I am sure they will appreciate the cash or gift card.

Hello. I had wonderful caregivers for my parents. When my parents passed away I too wanted to show how much I appreciated them. I sent a letter to the agency about how much I thought of their work. I also had a luncheon at my house with the caregivers and their families. They told me how much they enjoyed the lunch and being included with the family. To me they were so special. Perhaps you can show your caregivers something similar.

HI -- as others have noted, agencies may limit gifts, you may want to speak to them first.   If you have been happy with them, agree with PP, write the agency regarding that and give each of them personally a nice letter.

If you cannot afford to gift, you cannot afford it.  Also, make certain all expenses are taken care of before you give more than a token gift.

I think I'd invite them each to choose a keepsake. Not diamond jewellery, obviously; but maybe a picture, ornament, book, or something more practical like a microwave or a clock if there is also a home to wrap up now.

I still have my great aunt's folding chair and I use it every day. Even though the scent of 'Amarige' has at last faded it reminds me of her constantly.

Cash gifts are terribly tricky. Too small and you look mean, even if they know that all the money's gone. Too generous and you look like Lady Muck. If you would prefer to give them money, though, make it roughly the price of something you think they'd like to buy for themselves and tell them that that's what it's for.

Hello,

I do not have paid caregivers for my mom, it’s all on me. However I agree with a few others that mention letting their agency know how wonderful they were, a reference/referral letter goes a long way with any career.

As for the caregivers directly, a thank you card with a $50 Visa gift card for each is a very nice and generous thought. If you want to give more then go for it but any amount is fine!

This is very nice of you, in the business world if you lost or left a job you would not receive your bonus...

The bottom line is this is still a job for them.

Imagine putting your heart and soul into a job then opening up a card with nothing in it.

Don’t worry about the agency and their rules. Give them each a crisp $100 bill in that thank you card. Four hundred bucks is worth the strain they took off your family and the loving care they provided.

My Mom recently passed away and she had a wonderful caregiver that worked 3-4 days a week for us (through an agency) for the past 2-1/2 years. She loved my Mom so I asked her if there was anything of Mom's she wanted. She chose one of my Mom's shirts that she loved seeing my Mom wear. She's going to make it into a pillow. We also gifted her $1,000 in a thank you card, because we could afford it and we felt she earned that and more for the wonderful care she provided. I realize not everyone can afford that but even $20-50 would have been appreciated. I don't think it's about the amount, but the recognition. We didn't do that for any of Mom's other caregivers because they, honestly, weren't on the same level.

Start by checking with the agency. Some do not allow for monetary gifts of any kind. Also check with your state income tax laws to see what is the amount that will not require having to report the amount as income.

Then, prepare letters/cards that detail your appreciation for each person. Make them as personalized as you can. Invite each to select a momento - after family members have selected theirs. If monetary gifts are OK, give what makes everybody feel good and allows you to have enough to settle your loved one's estate.

Cash is king. We give our sister’s care team a Christmas bonus each year of $200 each. There are three of them. It’s between our family and them and has nothing to do with their agency. The OP said these CGers are employed by her. Do what you can afford but make it cash. They will be so grateful. I like the idea of them selecting a momento as Sorry for your loss. This is hard.

My mother has two private caregivers, not hired from an agency. They have been with her for, one over ten years and the other six years. I give them a cash bonus at the end of the year of $500 for the longest caregiver and $300 for the one whose worked 6 years. They both have families and appreciate the cash. When mom dies I plan to give the longest employed a $1000 and the other $500. I read once that the rule for bonus end of year “tips” can be up to what would be a one month worth of a normal salary. In addition, I often gift them at some holidays with a large ham to share with their families. The two we have are long time loyal caregivers.

A thank you card and providing a good reference for them is all you need to do.

A cash gift at as generous a level as you can comfortably afford would be hugely appreciated. A personal item of your mother's in addition would be cherished.

My mother just past Saturday. I gave her aid a weeks pay extra.

I agree that you should make sure everything is paid first. When my aunt passed, we were hit with bills from her helper's employer: one weeks full pay, social security withholdings, and unemployment insurance. I'm sure much of it went to the care company. We also noted after inventorying my aunt's belongings that some little valuables were missing. We said nothing about them, as we didn't know if they were gifted or lifted.

For FloridaDD
What I meant about "rule for tips" is when you frequent individuals who provide a service, like hairdressers, nail specialists, caregiver, housekeepers, many folks want to reward them for long term care and good services. Its especially hard to find and main caregivers since it's not easy work and pay is low. You can goggle the internet for the range of tip or bonuses for each type of service provider. In my mother's case these particular caregivers have been very loyal, are very bonded to my mother and she loves them. So, I don't want to lose them.
There are companies that give end of the year bonus. Before I retired, I worked for one, a major national health plan.

A small item that was your mother's would be nice for each of them.

I was a private pay caregiver for a client for 8 years, 5 & 1/2 days a week. She had two children, daughter & son. Daughter lived out of state, son, across town. When my client went home, I did not abandon the kids, I went every day, helped them pack up and close her home. My last day there, getting ready to leave, there were tears, laughter, and loads of love. The daughter said "we have something to give you, for loving Mom the way you did." She handed me an envelope, told me to open it, which I did. Inside the envelope was the deed to the home, in my name, free and clear. I almost fainted.!! As my tears fell, I handed it back, told them how much I appreciated their generous gift, but I couldn't accept it. Somehow, it just didn't set right, inside me. I could never have been comfortable in her home, not as the owner. A year later, I got a letter from the daughter, telling me they had sold the home, and included in the letter was a certified check for half of what the home had sold for. A check for almost a hundred thousand dollars...!!! I called her, and after discussing it at length, I accepted the check. After cashing it, I donated half to a charity my client had donated to for years. The other half I use when I have a client that don't have enough sometimes to cover their expenses. I just tell them that an angel from heaven brought it for them to make use of. It's not like I can't use the money, I could make things easier on me, but doing it this way warms my soul. And I can feel my late client giving me hugs, every time I spend her money to make it easier on someone else. It's called "pay it forward." I was beyond blessed to be allowed into her life, and care for her, love her, till God decided he wanted her home.