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My loved one has the start of dementia - testing said somewhere between MCI and dementia. Each day is different. But there seems to be no understanding that there is a problem. The cognition is completely different and memory issues are getting bad, but he is in no way aware of it. Is this common? Should we push to make him understand?

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They go in and out of knowing and suspecting and being agitated by it, worried and fretful about the control slipping, worried that they do not perceive reality as others do. Do not push. It increases ten fold the agitation and fretfulness. Just gently repeat things you need to. Explain that there are some memory glitches and it is "normal" now, and will happen more; reassure that you will take care of everything.
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NeedHelpWithMom Aug 2019
Good answer...
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Hello,
when a person with dementia doesn’t think they have a problem it’s called anosagnosia = loss of awareness
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kirahfaye Aug 2019
In my albeit limited understanding of Anosognosia, it isn't so much that they are unaware as it is that they are in denial. Anosognosia is often considered within the parameters of mental illness and often displays in conditions such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. For example, my mother has had memory loss issues for several years now, but has just recently (within the past few months actually) reached the point where she not only isn't aware she forgets things, she doesn't seem concerned about it when she does. I guess I was the one more in denial of her diagnosis of ALZ because I resisted it. However, in researching her symptoms I came across this page from Science Daily that helped me understand the process better. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/10/171010133917.htm
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When we eventually realized my MIL had significant short-term memory loss when I asked the social worker how it was that it took us so long to see it. She said there's something they call "apparent competency". My MIL knew something was not right with her but she would give very vague and general answers to questions. And since we didn't know any better, we accepted her answers. But if we asked her questions that required very specific answers (like on a cognitive test), she couldn't. Like, asking her what season it was and her looking out the window at the snow and being unable to answer correctly. It is a balancing act to know what to say and when to say it. Good advice from others on this thread. Blessings.
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Not being aware is their blessing in this horrible disease. No point in trying to explain as they won’t remember and no reason to have them afraid. As the caregiver you being fully aware is the terrible burden you carry. You don't know specifically what’s next, but are aware it gets more difficult. Just do your best to make him feel safe and loved. My mother is the same with ALZ and is thankful she “has nothing wrong” with her. It’s how her broken brain gets through it I guess.
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Recently I've wondered the same. My Dad, who has been on Alzheimer meds for years, has recently insisted he doesn't have it because the meds he is on has PREVENTED it. He has been a roller coaster for years. He believes what he says when he says it and he often says what he knows we want to hear. My Mom has been exhibiting signs of memory loss and paranoia just this year. She was a nurse and fully understands where this journey is going. Between the two, the blaming of lost items and misunderstandings has escalated. Today is their move into independent living in a 55+ community that has AL and memory care. I am so grateful for this online community openly sharing compassion and experience.
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My husband used to wake up every morning and say, “I thought today would be different. I thought I would be okay again.” It was heartbreaking. He’s now in a later stage and still seems to know he can’t think clearly and it causes anxiety. Others in his memory care facility will comment I can’t remember things anymore or my brain doesn’t work good. I’ve read that not knowing you have cognitive decline is part of the disease. I also think it’s a blessing as I see the angst those who are aware go through.
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Mostly, Mom didn't know, which was a blessing. Be grateful if your loved one's not aware of it. When Mom knew something was wrong she'd beg me to fix it, to help her. Ripped my heart out.

I never lied to her. I would gently tell her she had dementia, what it was, nothing could fix it, but we'd all help her through it. She would only nod her head in resignation. The only good thing is she'd forget momentarily.
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Tiger - in a *way* the drugs would be responsible for our mental decline, in that they enable many more of us to reach the advanced old age at which mental decline becomes so common. Without the drugs our mean lifespan would be greatly reduced and we wouldn't have those years and years of having our body chemistry altered. No hearing loss, no persistent cough, no kidney damage, no crippling osteoarthritis or muscle cramps - just think of all the advantages!

There's just the one problem...
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anonymous828521 Aug 2019
Yep, cud be! I'm just concerned cuz of the earlier onset of the cognitive symptoms, like folks in their 50's. Those folks had the newer 'statin' & bp drugs prescribed to them when they were 30ish. Not enough studies of that prob.
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NO NO NO - don't push them to acknowledge their condition because all you will do is make them unhappy & they won't remember it in the long run -

I felt with my mom that it was a blessing in disguise that she was 'blissfully unaware' - when she would mention that she forgot about something then I didn't make a big deal rather said 'do you want me to write it down for so you don't forget again' or say that 'I will remind you of it for next time & that's what you have me for'

A confrontation won't achieve anything but hard feelings - in order to make things easier on both of you the best thing to do is to have your LO think of you as 'always on their side' , 'the bringer of treats' , 'my favourite person' etc -

My mom thought I was stealing from her but by always bringing her some little treat she switched her thinking of me from 'stealer of stuff' to 'treat bringer' & that made things better for both of us - these treats don't have to be big rather items from the dollar store[St. Paddy's day shamrocks etc] or a specialty coffee[mom liked 1/2 decaf coffee & 1/2 hot chocolate] or a doughnut
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kbuser Aug 2019
I totally agree - my mom has dementia issues and I believe it is a blessing that she is unaware. I think it almost protects her from anxiety. She doesn't know how old she is, so she doesn't worry about that and just takes life as it comes. She still seems to recognize me and my siblings and has long-term memory recall, just not short-term.
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Both my DH and my dad knew about their declining memories. I chose to reinforce the positive and not the negative.

With my dad it was reminding him of all he still had, like being able to live on his own.

With my DH, he lost his memory after a nasty 2 month bout of pneumonia. When the prescription medications didn't work, I turned to alternative measures and started him on 500 ppm Colloidal Silver Nasal Spray which finally killed the pneumonia. Then I started him on Iodoral (iodine) and within days most of his memory came back.

Dementia is a label - look past the label and focus more on nutrition since poor nutrition has been linked to dementia as far back as the 1970's; I was hearing about Senile Dementia was linked to malnutrition because seniors start eating "fast" foods, instant meals. We're consuming too many chemicals in our prepared foods and heat & serve meals. Try to get back to natural and less packaged meals. It seems that nothing is made from "scratch" anymore.
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ellenH6 Aug 2019
Good for you, Ray.
 
I am not a medical doctor nor am I recommending any course of action. For any course of medical/health care get your doctors approval. I have applied the following strategies to help my loved one and the strategies ( with an ND's approval) have been very effective.
 
1. Nutrition: blood work can determine what the individual needs to support their health. But, fresh organic foods would probably be included, juicing, smoothies.
2.Clean filtered water
3.Supplements ( some ND's claim that Gingo Biloba helps).
4.Sleep
5.Exercise like walking in the sunshine and earthing or Tai Chi and/or (what they are able to safely do).
6.Detoxing ( can use lemon and/or cilantro and more).
7. De-stressing (like massage, reiki, reflexology, aromatherapy, meditation of the person is capable of this type of organized thought.)
8. Reading and being read to is important. Learning new information. 9.The individual needs to be loved. show them love if you are the caretaker.
10.And have a social outlet of some kind.
11.And to find a purpose in their life as it is.
12.Allow the person to grieve their loses ( like not living in their home, not being able to do what they used to do,etc).
13.Having someone to talk to about their fears and loses. Maybe an Elder Psychologist.
14.See the Bredesen Prodical and/or
15.Amen clinics.
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